Always My Taichou
by Spunky0ne
Summary: As Byakuya lies comatose after his battle with As Nodt, Renji contemplates their past and discovers that there is much more between them than he realized before. But will he ever have the chance to tell his taichou what he only just realized? Or will he let his fears take away their last chance at happiness? Ren/Bya, Tetsuya/Koji mpreg
1. My Sins Remembered

**Always My Taichou**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**( For DMK, thanks for the plot bunny! :) I don't have enough stories in progress, you know...lol!)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 1: My Sins Remembered**

**(A/N**Just to be clear, I am aware that Yama-jii attacked As Nodt and three other sternritters. However, since one of the three was shown to have survived, I have surmised that As Nodt may have survived as well. I think that Kubo intends to surprise readers with that later! lol)**

Renji worked his way slowly down the second floor hallway of the fourth division, leaning heavily against the thick guide rail that had been attached to the wall so that patients could walk to regain their strength. And if there was one thing that Abarai Renji needed at the moment, strength was it...both strength to keep walking and strength to keep fighting, although he felt already the change in his _reasons_ for fighting.

Like every shinigami in the Seireitei, he wanted to fight back against the enemy who had come suddenly out of the darkness and had used a cheap trick to steal the shinigami captains' most powerful advantage, the bankai, then used it against the very ones it was meant to protect. And as a seated officer of the Gotei 13, he wanted to fight to defend his home, and his friends and comrades. As a man, he _needed_ to fight to remove the dishonor of failing to protect his home, friends and comrades. But the greatest sting to Abarai Renji was that he had been unable to do what was the most sacred duty of a fukutaichou...to protect his taichou.

Even before he woke in the fourth division after falling in battle, he had already begun to chastise himself. He could forgive himself for making a mistake here or there, for small errors of timing, for a little failure to anticipate, here or there, or for having an attack stopped and having to try again. He could even stomach getting his ass handed to him by a stronger opponent...it had happened often enough before. But, there was one time, one place, one circumstance in which he could never, ever forgive himself for falling short. And that nightmarish situation had happened out there in ironically the same area where he had once turned on his taichou and attacked him. It was, of course, for good reason, but it seemed too haunting to think of now...now that...

_Kuchiki Byakuya..._

_The man whose shadow I was once afraid of stepping on...the man who I despised for taking my best friend into his home and making her a part of his family, resulting in us not speaking for forty years...the man who I worked my ass off to try to surpass, who I fought to try to save Rukia. This man I have never once been able to defeat in battle, and the taichou who I was sworn to protect. I have failed Kuchiki Byakuya...and I will not forgive myself for that...not until I fix this._

But fixing things would not, he thought, be easy.

_My taichou is alive, so there is yet some amount of hope, as long as that remains true. But I have never seen Kuchiki taichou take such damage. Not when Ichigo fought him to save Rukia, not when that bastard, Gin, cut him through the heart, and not even when he and Zaraki taichou fought that monster, Yammy, and got beaten to within an inch of their lives before besting him. No...my taichou has never, not ever been this hurt nor come this close to dying. And even though he won't die, I heard them say that he might never wake. I don't want to believe that's true, because if it is, I can never fight to regain my lost honor._

_I failed my taichou._

_I failed the Gotei 13._

_I failed Rukia._

_And I failed myself._

_But even though I have failed, I still want to go on. I've learned from being friends with Kurosaki Ichigo that it's okay to lose a battle...as long as you never stop trying to win. Yeah, that bastard As Nodt and his buddy may have beaten Kuchiki taichou and me out there. But...that doesn't have to be the end of it._

_I won't let it be!_

But he was a long way from knowing how to fight back. The quincies had a powerful defense mechanism, and they had some formidable weapons. And the damning thing they still had was the ability to steal the bankai from those few who still had one. So until Kurotsuchi taichou came back with something to help them counter the medallions, he had to sit tight. But if Abarai Renji had anything to say about it, he wasn't going to sit at all.

_I am going to get well._

_I am going to get stronger._

_And when the time comes for me to go back out there, I will find that scary piece of quincy shit and beat the ever-loving hell outta him. And I will take back what he took from Kuchiki taichou!_

_I owe that to Kuchiki taichou._

_I owe it to Rukia._

_And I owe it to myself._

He felt a shiver inside as he reached the intensive care unit, the place where he and Rukia had awakened after being scraped up off of the battlefield, and that place where Kuchiki Byakuya now laid, recovering. He was only steps now from seeing his taichou for the first time since the battle.

Renji quivered, remembering the horrific sight of seeing Byakuya hit, not once or even twice, but three times by his own bankai. He felt the sting of those petals on his own skin. He remembered that they didn't hurt as they attacked...that the pain only set in as the blood exploded from the person's body afterward.

But that wasn't the most painful thing he remembered.

Even worse than seeing his taichou fall, was the realization of just what Byakuya's final actions before that _meant_.

First, that Byakuya had come to him personally, and had quickly stepped in and taken his place battling As Nodt. He had never, ever stepped in on even one of Renji's battles...not ever. Then, there were not words, exactly, but a tiny, breathless pause in Byakuya's words that revealed something earthshaking.

_"Kuchiki taichou!" Renji cried, starting to flash step forward as the noble was hit, and staggered back, blood exploding from his slashed chest._

_"Stay back!" Byakuya ordered sternly, "It is foolish to attack together an enemy whose powers we do not understand. It loses us several advantages. Watch my battle...and try to understand his ability."_

_"Then, let me go in first!"_

_Byakuya observed him quietly for a moment, out of the corner of one dark, unreadable eye._

_"I..." he said, pausing oddly for a moment, "...do not think that you possess the skill to lure out all of his abilities."_

And as the battle had progressed, his taichou's actions and words had betrayed something that Renji had suspected for some time, but had never seen so blatantly expressed by the man.

_"Bankai..!"_

_"Stop!" Byakuya cried in a hard, desperate tone that Renji had never once heard him use before, "You must not let him steal yours as well!"_

At first, he had told himself that, as a taichou, and as one who had just suffered the loss of his bankai, Byakuya had been acting to protect what bankai had not yet been stolen, so that it could be used as protection later. But when he thought back to the facial expression that he had seen in a flash before Byakuya had regained his composure...

_His coming to me out there...the way he took over and risked himself, then protected me. It wasn't just about protecting the powers I have so that they can be used later. I saw way more than that in the way he was looking at me. It was all in his eyes. It's always in his eyes. That's where the man really lives...the only place where he reveals himself._

_For how long have I known that about Kuchiki Byakuya?_

_It's all in those big, wide gray eyes of his, right there in front of us. But most people are too scared to look into that man's eyes. I used to be too scared too. But that ended a while back. And I know what I saw out there, when Kuchiki taichou looked at me._

_He was afraid even before that bastard struck him. He wasn't afraid for himself, or of losing the battle...not at that point, but..._

His mind went back to Sasakibe's funeral, just before the attack.

_"Fledglings like us cannot begin to imagine the pain that Soutaichou is experiencing right now."_

When Byakuya had said the words, Renji had only taken in the surface meaning, but now he heard the emotion beneath the words.

_I never want to know what that feels like, Renji._

_I don't want to know the pain of standing in that place and watching the fire take your body and turn it into ash in front of my eyes._

_Rather than be taken by such a thing, I will instead let my own body be shattered._

_Don't cry when that happens._

_It is what I choose._

Renji bit his lip to force back the tears that the thought brought to his eyes.

"But..." he whispered, "it was my job to protect you! Why wouldn't you let me do that?"

But he knew why, of course. He wished that he didn't, but it was there, and he saw it, even though with the possible exception of Rukia, he might be the only living person to understand.

_That day at Soukyoku Hill...when he realized how Aizen had fooled everyone, and that the accusations against Rukia and her sentence were all part of a huge pack of lies and deceptions...ever since Gin's blade cut his heart, it's like he's never stopped bleeding since then. Before that day, I would have guessed that Kuchiki Byakuya was a heartless bastard who didn't give a shit about anything but defending his own pride. But little by little, over these past two years, he has shown in so many ways that he..._

_Kuchiki Byakuya..._

_He cares about Rukia and me._

_Really cares._

_And the most heartbreaking part of that is that the quincy took advantage of Kuchiki taichou's fears for us...to bring him down._

_What the hell am I supposed to do with that?_

He realized suddenly that he had come to Byakuya's door. Swallowing hard, he paused and closed his eyes against the shiver that passed through him. He was almost afraid to look, even though he knew that the cuts on his skin would be gone, and Byakuya would look relatively normal, just paler...and even more quiet.

He was shocked when he stepped through the doorway, first because of what he saw and secondly, because of what that sight made him feel.

_I've always thought that my taichou was beautiful. I had even thought to myself that he wasn't just the most beautiful taichou, but the most beautiful person I've ever met. Yeah, he scared the hell out of me, at first. But that didn't take away from the fact that people don't come as lovely as that man is...they just don't. And if I thought that he looked beautiful in all of his splendor, with power glowing all around him, how much more beautiful is he...lying there, looking completely vulnerable, having sacrificed himself rather than to let me die? Kuchiki taichou, you are too young to die like that. And I am not worthy to have someone like you die for me._

_I am glad that you are still alive._

_That gives me the chance to tell you, to show you, to prove to you...that you mean just as much to me as I do to you. And I am no more ready to see you die than you are ready to see me die._

He forced himself to take a breath, then stepped closer to the man. The soft, light scent of sakura made his legs feel weak. And the sight of Byakuya's relaxed, sedate expression spoke of a kind of peace that self sacrifice had given him.

_Ichigo said that the first words he said after were, "Are Rukia and Renji still alive?" Say what you will about the man being obsessed with his clan, his pride, whatever. When it comes down to it, although those things are important, somehow all along, Rukia and I have been important to him too. And if it was hard to pick out in the little ways he showed it, there is no bigger statement of his feelings than what he just did. Yes, he was fighting to defend the Seireitei, and he was protecting his clan's honor, as well as the honor of the Gotei 13. But Kuchiki taichou was possessed of a need to defend us, and to know that, even as he was on his last breaths, that we were going to be okay._

"Taichou," he whispered, sitting down in a chair next to the bed, "I'm glad you're still alive."

He paused for a moment.

"Rukia wanted to come too, but she needs a little more time before she's strong enough. But don't worry, she'll be fine."

Renji didn't know what else to say to him. Much of what he felt, he didn't know if he could ever confess out loud, even with the man unconscious. But that didn't mean that he couldn't admit it to himself.

_I always had faith in Kuchiki taichou. That's why for so long, I never worried for him when we went out to battle. I went along with Ichigo or Rukia, because Kuchiki taichou was so strong, he didn't seem to ever need me to defend him. He used to go off on me for getting in the way. I got careless that way, thinking that he was fine out there on his own and without backup. But...if this war has taught me anything, it's that when he goes out to battle, he should never go alone. Not because I doubt his strength, but because we never know when it's going to be an enemy who is too strong...one that will break through his considerable defenses, like that monster, As Nodt did. If he had been alone then..._

Renji felt a chill pass through him.

_Damn.._

_Who am I kidding?_

_Like it mattered a fucking bit that I was there._

_Maybe if he'd been alone, he wouldn't have been distracted with trying to protect me. I saw it...how he saw me jumping in and got up. Maybe if I'd stayed back, if I had listened to him and not charged in, then he would have stayed down, and that bastard wouldn't have kept hitting him with..._

He cringed as he remembered seeing the man caught up in a sea of his own petal blades, his clothes cut to ribbons, his body slashed all over, and his face reflecting an ungodly amount of pain.

_Although it's useless to speculate about it now. It isn't going to change the fact of him lying here, looking like an angel and them saying that he may never wake up. And even if he wakes up, that he'll probably never be able to continue as a taichou._

_I just can't...and won't...believe that._

_Not of this man._

_He is going to get better. He has to._

He bit his lip gently, looking at where Byakuya's hand rested on top of the blanket, the long, graceful fingers slightly curved and relaxed. But it looked odd without the fingerless gloves he always wore. He quivered, remembering that someone had said that his other hand had been lost in the battle, but looking over, he was relieved to see it had been healed. He sighed softly and closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again and looked at the hand that rested nearest to him.

There was a sort of boundary that Renji had never stepped over, not even when Byakuya had been hospitalized after his injuries at Soukyoku Hill. He had never dared to touch the man.

Byakuya had touched him with those hands, usually on the shoulder or arm as he corrected him during their training. And when he did, it always made his heart pound a little bit harder.

Renji wouldn't have dared before, but now he needed a way to say the words without speaking them aloud.

_I am glad you are alive._

_I am here with you now._

_You have my gratitude for what you did to protect me...and you have my love, Kuchiki taichou._

He meant that word in the context of taichou and subordinate, of comrades in arms. But, when he finally broke through his fears and slipped his hand into Byakuya's, he felt something on a level he couldn't have imagined. Byakuya's hand was soft and warm, and felt so alive. And that little bit of physical contact, while he couldn't be sure if it comforted his taichou, he _knew_ it comforted him. He breathed in deeply that lovely scent of sakura and felt his heart flutter inside his chest.

Then, it nearly stopped as he heard the faintest of whispers in his mind.

_Renji..._

And pride be damned, he couldn't stop himself from crying.


	2. Something More

**Chapter 2: Something More**

**(Thanks to unsigned reader DMK (I am so glad you like it so far! It will move slowly, as is necessary, considering Byakuya's injuries)) **

**(Wrote this chapter while listening to "Something More" by Secondhand Serenade. Then had to turn it off because it got to feeling a little too real. I have a very vivid imagination and it made me feel like I was sitting in that hospital room. But I still went back and listened again while editing. Quite poignant and sweet. You should give the song a spin while reading, but...bring tissues and dark chocolate.)**

_Breathe in..._

_Breathe out..._

_Breathe in..._

_Breathe out..._

_It is ironic, isn't it? That breathing is the most basic underpinning of our strength. And the last bit of our strength to leave us...is our breath. Without breath, mind, heart and body collapse completely._

_Breathe in..._

_Breathe out..._

_And we die._

_Is this really all that is left of me? Just an endless stream of inhales and exhales? Why am I still breathing? All of my strength is gone. Everything that went with that strength...status, honor, position and pride...all came apart when my knees became too weak for me to stand anymore. I didn't even feel myself fall. The last thing that registered was that Senbonzakura shattered completely._

_Breathe in..._

_Breathe out..._

_I know that I was supposed to die then. I sensed it approaching and prepared myself, making sure that the things that mattered were set in hands that could protect them much better than I could. And even though I felt the healers' touches, I didn't believe for a moment that they could save me. I was too far gone and had accepted that death was inescapable. And when my body refused to die, my mind tried to leave anyway. I was disappearing into the abyss...nearly gone when I felt that crimson presence..._

_Renji..._

_... sensed his step, even though I couldn't hear it, saw his stark colors even though I knew my eyes were closed, felt his touch on my sword hand, though it shouldn't have registered. And how is it that I can hear that he is crying?_

_Breathe in..._

_Breathe out..._

_Why is he crying?_

_I have never actually heard Renji cry before._

_Renji...stop._

_We should not shed tears. That is the surrender of the body to the heart. It is only a sign that we are beings that do not know what to do with our hearts._

_That is what I was told._

_That was a long time ago._

_My grandfather said those words to me after my father died. And he was right. All of this time I have tried to control it. With a disciplined, determined mind and a powerful body, I could control my heart._

_Breathe in..._

_Breathe out..._

_But...a disciplined mind is meaningless when the body is too weak to act according to one's will. My mind is useless and my body is broken now. All that remains are heart and breath._

_Why can't they just stop?_

_It is that stupid, rebellious heart that beats in my chest, ne? It has been undoing everything since it started to beat and my voice first sounded. Why is it still so strong when everything else has broken down? I thought that when it was corrupted with fear by my enemy, then impaled, that was enough to stop it. And if it wasn't, three times, my own power sliced through me to finish it off._

_But it is still there, beating fiercely, rebellious and stubborn as always. But it has always been like that...shoved down beneath mind and body, while they were strong. No one could penetrate the exterior defenses, and no one knew it still existed...no one...until..._

_Renji..._

_That is it, isn't it? Where I was calm on the surface and roiling underneath, this man was my polar opposite. Fiery on the surface, but so warm and loving inside. But as much as Renji has a warm and loving heart, he never wasted it on me. He only ever wanted to surpass me._

_So, why is he crying?_

_It should be easy for him now. I am not going to recover. He can step seamlessly into my place and go on. It isn't as it was with Soutaichou and Sasakibe fukutaichou. Renji never felt that kind of loyalty for me. And I never did anything to earn it._

_Except that in the last two years, those words became a lie. We started to change. And for a time, I thought that maybe...maybe we could be like that. And who knows, maybe we would have been. I am not sure._

_Breathe in..._

_Breathe out..._

_But one thing still confuses me._

_Why did he offer to step in during my battle? Renji wouldn't have dared to insult me like that before. He had to know it was akin to accusing me of being too weak to do what needed to be done. Never mind the fact that he was right about that. Stripped of my bankai and already cut by the enemy, I was going to be defeated. I knew that. But strategically, it still made sense for me to attack, because Renji could watch, and he could escape afterward to take what he learned back with him, so that countermeasures could be developed. That's what I was thinking when I ordered him to stay back._

_I should have known that he didn't have the patience to do that._

_No._

_It wasn't impatience that I saw at that last moment._

_Oh gods...it was loyalty._

_Am I still breathing?_

_I may have accepted that I was going to die, but he did not. And when he saw it happening, he couldn't hold back that fire, that willingness to sacrifice himself to save someone he cared about. I just didn't know that he cared about me like that. That came as a surprise._

_I shouldn't have been able to get up, but...as much as I could stomach dying, myself, I couldn't let him die like that. I made peace with what happened as a result. I only held on long enough to make sure that he and Rukia hadn't been killed. Then, I let go of everything._

_But fate just laughed in my face. Because although I could relax and let go, and I could fall to the edges of life, I do not control the heart that beats in my chest and I do not control the breath that passes in and out of me._

_So...fate is not finished with me, yet._

_Fine._

_I will keep breathing then._

_But why?_

_What good am I to anyone, when all I can do is breathe?_

_There must be something more than this._

_Did he just kiss my fingertips?_

_It hurts to breathe. I suppose that means I really am going to live._

_Fine then, I'll live._

_But I'll be damned if I am going to do that lying here and breathing. If it is the last thing I do, I am going to wake up and get out of this horrible place._

_What is that?_

_He is...holding my hand to his heart? I can feel his heart beating, and his breath on my fingertips._

_That is...exquisite._

_We are...breathing together._

XXXXXXXXXX

Still in the midst of his own recovery, Renji felt exhaustion setting in, but was too damned stubborn to make himself leave Byakuya's side. Instead, he merely leaned forward and rested his head on a spare edge of the noble's pillow, Byakuya's hand still pressed to his chest.

He was asleep and dreaming in moments...walking aimlessly somewhere in a sakura filled garden that he had never seen before. Rain came down all around him, making the cherry blossoms fall away from the branches and drop heavily to the wet earth. Slowly, the trees were left stark and bare...lifeless. Amongst the trees, stood what he at first thought to be a girl.

The long black hair, pulled back into a high ponytail, wet wisps of misbehaving strands about a lovely pale face. And pretty gray eyes that reminded him...

_Wait!_

_That is..._

The boy stepped forward and Renji could see that he held one hand tightly to his chest, over his heart. Underneath his palm, pink light flared, lighting the boy's too pretty face and underscoring the discomfited look he wore.

"Senbonzakura," he whispered, his voice just barely audible above the storm.

He looked more closely at Renji and caught his breath in surprise.

"You!" he gasped, "You're not...!"

"No," Renji said, shaking his head.

"Who...are you?"

Renji smiled sadly.

"A friend."

The boy's eyes narrowed instantly.

"A friend?" he repeated, "Then, why don't I know you?"

"I don't know," said the redhead, "but you should. Anyway, forget that for a moment. Why don't you tell me what's wrong with your chest? Looks like you're hurt. Let me help you."

The boy looked down at his hand, then slowly pulled it away. Renji tried not to react, but couldn't quite stifle a sound of surprise at the gaping hole he revealed. Pink light flickered all around the area, leaking out of him and running down his wet clothes. And for some strange reason, Renji had the horrible feeling of watching someone bleed to death before his eyes.

He stepped forward, extending a hand and found it captured in a softer, smaller one and brought to that surprisingly warm. pale breast. Renji froze, staring into the dark, desperate eyes, unable to move or speak.

"You must promise me something," the boy said softly.

"What?"

"If I live, you must help me to find him and bring us back together. And if I die, you must make it your task to find Senbonzakura...and destroy him. Don't let him be used to..."

The boy stopped and took a pained breath.

"Don't let him be used to kill anyone else. Especially not _her_. _He _knows about her now. If he sees her, he will enjoy using Sen to hurt her. Do not let that happen."

"I won't," Renji promised, "but..."

His words were stopped as the boy's eyes widened suddenly, and his legs gave way beneath him. Renji caught him up and sat down with his back against one of the naked trees, holding the boy against him and wrapping the edges of his cloak around him to keep him warm.

"You're going to be okay," he told the boy, "You have my word."

"It doesn't matter now," the boy said, shaking his head and blinking slowly, "I have your promise that Sen will be taken care of, whatever happens. Arigatou, _friend_. Just leave me here now and go back."

"What? Are you shitting me? I'm not leaving you here," Renji objected, "This place is falling apart! You need to come back and fight so that it will stabilize. If you stay here too long, this place will wash away."

"What do you mean?"

"You're his fighting spirit, ne?" Renji asked, "You're what kept him alive when he should have died. You have to come with me."

"But I cannot leave," argued the boy, "Can't you see that I'm...?"

He sucked in a surprised breath and looked at where the hole had been in his chest.

"Will you look at that..." Renji mused.

"How did you do that?" the boy demanded, "Tell me how you did that! I was dying. I know that I was. What did you do to me?"

Renji gazed into his eyes, but couldn't think of an answer. The boy's eyes darkened as he considered, then a moment later, rounded cutely.

"What?" Renji asked, unable to hold back an affectionate smile, "Did something happen?"

"It is gone," the boy answered wonderingly.

"What? The hole?"

"Yes, that...but...the _fear_!"

"You were afraid?"

"Yes. A blinding golden light struck this place, and suddenly I felt fear that pierced right through me and caused that wound you saw. It was just after Senbonzakura disappeared. I tried to search for him, but he was gone, and the one who sent the light said that he wasn't coming back. He made Sen hurt me until I couldn't move anymore, then he left me to die here. I was frozen with that fear even after he left. But then, you came and it left me. Why is that? Who are you?"

"I told you," said Renji, smiling at him, "I am a friend. And we're going back now. It's safe now. He's going to need you if he's ever going to wake up. I get that now."

"What are you doing?" the boy yelled, "Where are you taking me? Put me down, you imbecile! I didn't say that I wanted to..."

Renji laughed and held the boy tighter as the ground opened up beneath the two of them and they began to fall together.

"You are going to pay for that!" the boy snapped, spitefully, "NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! NOBODY!"

_Huh...I know that Ukitake taichou and Kyouraku taichou said that he used to be a complete brat. But I just couldn't see that until now._

_Damn, that's just cute!_

He thought it was even cuter how tightly the kid clung and closed his eyes as they crashed back down into their bodies.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji opened his eyes and blinked groggily. He lifted his head off of the edge of Byakuya's pillow and looked closely at the noble to see if it was even remotely possible that the dream he had just had was in some way real. Disappointment flooded his body as he read his taichou's condition as seeming pretty much the same. He ran his hands over his face and started to get up, but sat down again as Unohana taichou came into the room.

"Good morning, Abarai fukutaichou," she said, smiling, "I see that you finally got a little bit of sleep."

"Yeah, some," Renji said, yawning.

He watched as she took Byakuya's vital signs and examined him for several minutes, making notes into his chart. He ached all over to ask questions, but found he didn't need to.

"He is making progress," the healer said bracingly.

"Really?" Renji said, wondering if she was just bullshitting him to keep him calm, "Because to me, he looks the same. He's still out...not responding to anything."

"Ah...but something is quite different, Abarai-san, though it is a subtle thing. You see, when Kuchiki taichou was found, he tried to refuse treatment."

"He was _conscious_?" Renji asked, looking shocked.

"For a short time," Unohana answered, "Until we rendered him unconscious for his own good."

"What?"

"His zanpakutou had shattered, and he was quite insistent that we just let him die. As you are aware, we aren't in the habit of allowing our patients to die, so we rendered him unconscious and healed him to the best of our ability. But all along, he has fought the will of the healers. It slowed his healing greatly, but he still managed to cling to life, despite himself. But...when I just examined him and gave him an infusion of healing reiatsu, his systems worked with the healing, not against it. So, the change, while emotional, is a change for the better."

She shook her head at Renji's downcast expression.

"Abarai-san, this is a major development. And it is likely that your presence is what made the difference. Is that not a good thing? Why do you look so unhappy?"

"Well, I thought that by major development, it meant that he would wake up, you know? He's still in a coma, ne?"

"Yes," confirmed the healer, "And I cannot tell you whether or not he will wake. However, with this change, he has much more working in his favor. You must trust in that. And...I think you should visit him often. Talk to him. Try playing familiar music or stirring his memories in some way. All of this will help to anchor him."

"Okay," said the redhead, standing, "Whatever I need to do."

"Where are you going, Abarai-san? I was going to examine you next."

"Oh, you said music. I was thinking of going to get my guitar."

Unohana smiled.

"Where was it stored?" she asked, "In your flattened apartment building? Or perhaps, the leveled sixth division building?"

"Shit," muttered Renji.

"Not to worry," laughed the healer, "I think that we can find one for you. But first, let me have a look at you."

"Oh, I'm fine," Renji said, sitting back down, "Don't worry about..."

He froze as her eyes seemed to pierce right through him, without even losing their friendly expression.

_Damn, that woman is scary!_

"Sit still, Abarai-san. I will find that guitar for you after a short examination."

"Uh...ah...okay," the redhead said weakly, "J-just, no needles, okay? I freaking hate needles."

"Oh, I don't think we need any of those this time," she assured him, "but I won't make any promises for later."

"G-great..." Renji groaned helplessly.


	3. Trapped

**Chapter 3: Trapped**

**(Thanks to unsigned reader, DMK (Thanks! You will see Bya-bo, the little fighting spirit again in the story. Just thinking of the right place for that!))**

It seemed morbidly ironic to Kuchiki Byakuya that, being comatose, he found himself literally trapped within his body. He had, of course, been aware of that being the case figuratively for much of his life. Perhaps not so much while he was young and his father still lived, but slowly over time, as the people he loved all died or walked away, for some reason.

His mother left first, but most quietly, as he took his first breath. He only knew what she looked like because his father had knelt each evening in front of her picture, with candles burning all around him, whispering gently to her as though she could hear. And because Byakuya loved and respected his father, he would sit alongside him sometimes, silently adding his own words...thanking her for giving him life, and promising to take care of Soujun for her.

But despite his resolve to watch over his father, Soujun was, in fact, the next person to leave him, although, he stubbornly held on to life so that he could speak his last words to his grieving son. A final, gentle smile and kiss on the forehead, a squeeze of his hand and a promise that he would be all right...that he still had his grandfather and the proud and loyal Kuchiki family to watch over him. Byakuya was careful not to interfere with the final mental picture that Soujun painted for him...a lovely landscape of close knit family, devoted to seeing that the heir received love and proper guidance. And he was, he thought, fortunate to have Kuchiki Ginrei to quietly instruct him. Despite the old man's questionable judgment in seeking Shihoin Yoruichi's assistance in his training (He was still not always sure that his wicked flash step was worth the torment she had visited upon him in his youth), Ginrei was, in general, a sympathetic man, having once been young and passionate himself. He managed to put across the message that, although he loved Byakuya's high spirits and strong will, being heir came with some prerequisites, and it was expected that as he grew, Byakuya would gradually grow into them. At first, he took the situation lightly. It was easy enough to do with no parents, only hapless attendants who didn't dare to order him to do anything, and a loving, doting grandfather, who was often away, seeing to his duties as taichou of the sixth division. And he spent so much of his time chasing after that damned cat-girl that he didn't have the time or attention span to notice how gradually things were changing in his environment. Then, one day, Yoruichi disappeared from his life too...and despite the fact that he wanted to be glad she was gone, it began the process of slamming the doors shut around him.

Yes, that was the 'before' and 'after' point in his life. Because it was after she left that Kuchiki Ginrei had summoned him and told him that it was time to start preparing himself to go from being a child-heir to being something more...something greater.

Still suffering silently from the news that Shihoin Yoruichi was missing and probably dead, Byakuya was swift in quietly accepting the words, and a seated position that had once belonged to his father. Although it was unquestionably heartening to share space with his grandfather, he began to feel trapped in his body as he forced himself to be quiet, still and disciplined...carefully attending to the division paperwork and routines, joining his grandfather for meetings with the elders, and only loosing any kind of strong spirits on the hollows he destroyed. His only secret internal fantasy, at the time, was to track down and kill the hollow that had taken his father from him. But...to Byakuya's consternation, that was the first thing in his life he had willed strongly and had not been able to accomplish...ever. For all he knew now, that hollow might outlive him. He was surprised at how much he still hated himself for that.

In any case, he had become so immersed in the preparations for his ascent, that little outside of that existed. He learned quickly about posturing, about appearing calm and quiet on the outside, while his deeper passions roiled somewhere beneath the surface. He was mostly successful in hiding them, but was shocked soundly when they got the better of him while he was away from home, attending to division protection of a town in the lower Rukongai. He was never sure how it happened or why. All he knew was that one moment, he was perfectly focused on controlling himself completely and being a proper model of nobility, and the next, he was standing in a lonely valley in the lower Rukongai, fighting off an ambush and protecting a young, violet-eyed woman and a group of children she had been speaking to when the hollows appeared. And even though she had no powers and looked unbearably fragile, she stood over the children, placing her trembling body between the hollows and the children, and refusing to budge, even when a hollow slipped through his guard and fired itself at her. If his flash step had been even a split second slower, she would have paid for her stubbornness with her life. But that time, he stood between death and the small, pretty frail woman, whose eyes were stunningly like his mother's. And try as he might, after that moment, he could not bear the thought of leaving that woman behind.

He was quick to chastise himself for being a disappointment to his grandfather and a disgrace to his parents and family for that regression to his younger, indomitable self. But, when it came to Hisana, she commanded a part of him that chafed under the strict rules of the noble class, that hated the rules that separated him from everyone else and made him feel trapped in his own body. While she lived, that spirited part of him came to the surface often, making poor old Ginrei sigh and shake his head, and opening up a rift between the Kuchiki elders and him. He paid for his rebelliousness with a longer wait to ascend to head of household, but once Hisana fell ill and then left him, the rebelliousness died away too, and with the exception of keeping his promise to his late wife to find and protect her sister, Byakuya felt no compulsion to resist.

He had to be careful, however. He realized almost immediately upon finding the girl, that those passions he denied were still there, waiting to undo him. And it wasn't just Rukia, whose resemblance to Hisana teased that part of him mercilessly. It was that someone else touched his senses that day he found the girl, and reminded him that he wasn't nearly as completely in control of himself as he liked to think he was.

In a way, first laying eyes on Abarai Renji was like Inuzuri all over again, but for vastly different reasons. Where Hisana had been female, frail and crafted upon a simpler palette of colors, the young man who burst into the room, calling Rukia's name was tall, brimming with barely controlled, feisty reiatsu that snapped at the noble's senses like a biting dog. And his colors were so much more stark...even violent. Bright red hair that could just be contained in a simple black hair tie and dangerous red-brown eyes that wanted to incinerate him, even though he knew well that he had never met the man before. It took everything in Byakuya to walk by the man without so much as meeting his eyes. But he couldn't bear the thought of disappointing his grandfather again. And it was likely that if he crossed the elders one more time, they might just be forced to consider assassinating him. And some part of him agreed with them. He might be beautiful, powerful, and a lovely model of nobility, but beneath the surface, he was a torrent of warring emotions, both wanting his freedom and hating himself for wanting it...craving true love and forcing himself to believe that it didn't exist. He walked past Abarai Renji silently, never so much as learning the man's name. He didn't want to know it. He was already barely able to hold himself back as it was.

Things were quiet after that. He was able to stave off whatever internal rebellion Rukia's presence might have caused in him, by quietly sending her off to join the thirteenth division (after insisting that his sister not be offered a seat, but that she would be placed in a safer, unseated position so that she wouldn't likely get hurt). What rebellion was left in him was only ever visible in his eyes, the one part of himself that continued to refuse to obey him. Luckily for Byakuya, his power and position left most people too intimidated to look him in the eyes. And in any case, it didn't seem strange to them that he kept his eyes lowered. They took it as a commendable sign of his unbreakable pride and they did not question it.

And day by day, Byakuya's spirits sank deeper and deeper beneath the surface. The images of pride, strength, honor and obedience, ruthlessness to the point of heartlessness became all that anyone saw. And finally, it became all that was left when he looked in the mirror while his attendant dressed him each day. He still mourned Hisana, of course. But he did so in expected, acceptable ways. And even while kneeling in front of her picture, speaking to her as he had when she was alive, he no longer felt any conflict about what he was doing. He had left his rebelliousness behind and no longer wanted it back. Because every time he let his heart have its way with him, it brought disaster.

For forty years, Kuchiki Byakuya's world was calm and orderly. It evoked enough confidence in his grandfather that Ginrei was able to leave to join the royal guard with a clear conscience. He was leaving the clan in the hands of a fearless, powerful and dutiful man, one ruthless enough to do what had to be done, strong enough to protect the clan's pride and honor, and one dedicated to acting as a model of obedience to the law and indicative of the noble class. Yes, Kuchiki Byakuya was all of that and more.

But that was only on the surface.

It was a house of cards that he thought was a finely constructed palace. But everything came crashing down forty years later, when he was sixth division taichou, looking through a stack of files, searching for the best applicant to fill the fukutaichou's position. He had spent the better part of an afternoon carefully reading through each file, and thinking about how each would mesh with the division's reputation as a law abiding, peacekeeping group. But as soon as he opened Abarai Renji's file and looked down at his picture, a hard flicker of fate gripped him for a moment.

He knew by then that this young man had grown up with Rukia in Hisana's hometown of Inuzuri. He knew as well how his adoption of Rukia into the Kuchiki family had separated the two. He imagined that it would have made Abarai Renji displeased with him. But he had no idea how much the man hated him. He started to close the file and set it aside, because he had already once been tempted by this man, and had no intention of opening a Pandora's box like that, but he made the mistake of glancing a little too closely at his qualifications, and froze, staring.

Because despite having come from Inuzuri and having poor control of his kido, Abarai Renji was possessed of exceptional reiatsu, and had grown exponentially in his swordsmanship while training in the eleventh division. All things considered, he was the best of the fukutaichou candidates, which meant that he could choose to make Renji his subordinate with a clear conscience. It would give the sixth division another strong boost and at the same time, would allow Renji to achieve a military ranking high enough that it would be considered acceptable for him to associate with Rukia again. Completely unable to even look the girl in the eyes himself, Byakuya knew that Rukia was lonely...even more so after the horrid situation involving Shiba Kaien. Yes, Rukia would benefit from having a friend in Renji. And Byakuya, the squad six taichou and Kuchiki clan leader, would have a formidable fukutaichou working for him.

He forced himself to ignore the tickle of emotion that stirred inside as his long submerged inner rebel kicked his way free again. It wouldn't be an issue if he chose for it not to be. He had a long history now of keeping that part of himself held down and quieted. And no commoner from the lower Rukongai could possibly interfere with that.

Except that from the moment Renji walked in the door of the sixth division, he couldn't help but interfere.

_"Sit down, Renji."_

_He noticed immediately that the young man had notably more of the black tribal markings on his body than before. He remembered from reading Renji's file that they were made by his zanpakutou, and reflected his growth in ability...which appeared to be noteworthy._

_"I will not take much of your time. You have some settling in to do. The third and fourth seat will inform you about the specifics of your day to day duties. My intent is to make certain that you understand the difference between your former division and this one."_

_He might have been intimidated, but Renji surprised him with a quick and adept response._

_"Sir, the sixth division is known for its strict adherence to the law, and for keeping the peace by dealing with lawbreakers. All division members, seated or not are expected to keep their uniforms impeccably neat, be on time, complete all duties capably in a timely way and respect the hierarchy of command."_

_Byakuya was careful not to let on how the man's answer pleased him. He simply let his eyes meet Renji's briefly, enjoying a little too much how the other man's reiatsu flickered and Renji shivered almost imperceptibly. Yes, somehow, knowing that he 'got to' Renji, whether through fear or something else was alarmingly enjoyable to the hidden inner rebel in Byakuya. He kept his expression dispassionate, but gave the young man a nod of approval._

_"You have taken the time to look into the reputation and history of the sixth division," he commented, "Commendable."_

_He had to keep his eyes lowered and pretended to ignore how his words made the younger man smile...no, grin and straighten._

_"Thank you, Kuchiki taichou," Renji said proudly._

_Rickichi will show you to the fukutaichou's quarters," Byakuya went on blithely, "and he will escort you about the division. Then, return here and the third and fourth seats will outline your duties for you."_

_"Yes, sir," Renji said, standing as Rikichi approached him._

_This way, Abarai fukutaichou," said Rikichi, leading him towards the hallway._

_"Rikichi," Byakuya said solemnly, "You will please show Abarai fukutaichou the process for making my tea, and make him aware of when I have it served."_

_"Yes, sir!" Rikichi said, enthusiastically._

_"There's a process for making tea?" Abarai asked softly as they left, prompting a very slight smirk on the Kuchiki heir's lips._

_"For Kuchiki taichou?" Rikichi answered, "There is an art."_

_"Huh..."_

Byakuya was jolted out of the memory as he registered something warm and wet touching his lips. He caught the slightest hint of the scent of his favorite tea, and realized that what he had felt was Renji's rough fingertip delivering just a drop to his parched lips. He wanted badly to move them, to lick the tea from his lips, then sit up and drink deeply. But no matter how he threw his will against his frozen body, it refused to move.

Unaware of what was building up inside Byakuya, Renji continued to lightly moisten the noble's lips with the familiar tea. Then, carefully, he gathered another drop of the tea on his fingertip, and coaxed Byakuya's lips apart to let it fall onto the unresponsive noble's tongue.

Rage burned against the noble's mind.

_Move._

_Move!_

_WHY CAN'T I JUST MOVE?_

He knew his body would be shaking with fury if he had any kind of control. But control was something completely lost on him in that place, just a breath away from his inhibited body.

_MOVE!_ he screamed at himself, _JUST, PLEASE, MOVE!_

_I'll lose my mind, lying here like this. Tell me that I'm going to move again. Tell me that this isn't going to last forever. I just want to move. DAMN YOU, PLEASE MOVE!_

He heard Renji make a strangled sound of surprise as something slid down his cheek. Then, shock and horror flooded his mind as an unexpected female voice sounded.

"Oh my kami...Renji, he...he's crying!"

_No..._

Another tear slid down his face.

Then another.

_No!_

And another.

_Not in front of her!_

The monitors attached to his healing body began a shrill beeping and running feet sounded in the hallway.

_Get her out of here!_

_Get her out of here, Renji!_

_Don't let her see me like this!_

More tears escaped, but this time, they were tears of relief as Renji's voice sounded, as though he had heard.

"Rukia, get outta here."

"What? What are you talking about? Renji!"

"Hey..."

"Renji, let go of me! Byakuya, he's...!"

"You know why he's freaking out. Get out of here! Get out of here, now!"

"You're crazy! Let me go! He's my brother. I should be..."

The door to the room opened.

"Is there a problem?" asked Unlohana taichou, "It seems that Kuchiki taichou's heart rate and blood pressure elevated suddenly."

"Unohana taichou," said Renji quickly, "I took your advice and I put some of his favorite tea on his lips. He didn't wake up or move, but he started..."

"I see," the healer said quickly, "Will the two of you step outside for a moment?"

_Oh thank kami..._

The door opened and closed. Then, Byakuya felt a cool cloth on his face and a soft swell of soothing reiatsu that sent his thoughts into a gentle spin.

_Thank you._

"You are beginning to come back to us, ne?" the healer's soft voice whispered, "but let's take this slowly. Rest for a bit."

"R-ren..."

Unohana inhaled in surprise. She leaned over him, examining him quickly, only to find that he had slipped away again. She smiled sadly and squeezed his hand.

"I will have Abarai-san return in a moment. I just wanted to make sure that you were more comfortable first. Rest easy, Kuchiki taichou. You are making good progress. You will wake soon, I think. Just try to remain calm and be patient with yourself. This is going to take some time."

_But that means that there is still hope._

_And that is something._

_But gods, I want to move. It feels like I have been frozen like this forever. Still...I won't get there by being impatient. Some things have to be done in small steps. Isn't that what Grandfather told me before? It worked when I was a child, learning how to do new things._

_Perhaps..._

He heard Renji's step, and the door opening and closing. The redhead moved close to him, but didn't sit down in the chair next to him, this time. This time, Renji sat down on the bed and slipped a hand easily into his.

"I'm...sorry, Taichou," he said softly, "I didn't know that you would react like that to the tea. I mean...if I coulda' known, then I might have thought not to do it while Rukia was here. I get why you didn't want her here. I explained it to her. And once she calmed down and stopped hitting me, I think she understood. I told her to come back tomorrow. I figure you don't mind her being here when you're just resting. But from now on, when I do stuff like that, I'll make sure we're alone."

There was a long pause and Byakuya felt Renji's hand quiver. The redhead seemed torn about something, his reiatsu riled, and even his breath shaking.

_Renji?_

The next thing he knew, Renji's arms wrapped around him and lifted him so that he was collapsed against the front of the redhead's upper body, his head rested on a muscular shoulder, and Renji holding him tightly in place.

_Renji, what are you...?_

"I'm sorry if this feels strange, or if it makes you pissed at me," Renji whispered in his ear, "but I just need to...Taichou, I just need to feel close to you. You can beat me up for it later, if you want, just..."

He felt a hot tear splash onto his shoulder and cursed his body for not being able to respond.

_If I could move, Renji..._

_I would..._

_I think that I would kiss you._

_Please don't let go._

_I want to stay here, just like this..._


	4. Written in the Stars

**Chapter 4: Written in the Stars**

**(Chapter content altered to conform to site rules...PM me for info. Thanks.)**

**(Thanks to unsigned reader DMK (I might have him go to his inner world, at some point, and he might not be alone there, I'm thinking!)) **

**(I was listening to Westlife's version of Written in the Stars and thought of how Byakuya's always so enchanted by the moon and night sky, so I thought it would be a sweet song for Renji to sing to try to give sleeping beauty a nudge. Ah...you can tell the weather's gotten chilly, even on the usually warm west coast, because Spunky's feeling romantic again! lol Anyway, so Westlife and a little Taylor Swift as Bya thinks about the fallout from the lost battles...)**

"Rukia," Renji said quietly, "Look, I'm sorry about what I said before...you know, yelling at you to go like that. It's just that, I know your brother, and I really know that..."

"That he wouldn't have wanted me to see him like that," answered Rukia, sighing, "I get it. And I'm sorry I kept hitting you...no, wait, I'm not. Even though I understand, I'm still mad. I know he's a prideful man, but I am his sister. When things are bad, you should be able to turn to your family to get through it. But Nii-sama...he is..."

"Yeah, I know. Still, I think we should try to keep it light when you're around, so that he'll stay calm."

"But Renji, how are we supposed to help him?" Rukia asked, a troubled look on her face, "We keep trying all kinds of things."

"Well, whenever something doesn't work, we just try something different. Kami knows, we have enough things to try to keep us going for a damned long time."

They went quiet for a moment, both looking over at Byakuya's silent, resting form.

"I heard you're being released tomorrow," Renji said, looking back at her.

"Yeah," said Rukia, "My division is in charge of humanitarian efforts. The Seireitei is pretty much wrecked, so getting food, water and basic medical care to everyone can't be handled by the fourth division. They're still working on the injured and bound by Soutaichou's order not to leave the compound."

"Right."

"When are they letting you go?" Rukia asked, glancing at Byakuya.

"A few more days," said the redhead, "But I have a pass to go and talk to our division's remaining forces tomorrow."

"What are you going to tell them?"

"That we're going to pick up the pieces and go on."

"I know that," Rukia said meaningfully, "I meant about..."

"I know what you meant," said Renji, "and I'm going to tell them the truth. Taichou was badly injured and is in the process of being healed. His status is not able to be determined yet, so we will continue under the orders that he left in place."

"Ah."

Renji bit his lip gently.

"You think there's something wrong with that?" he asked.

"I didn't say there was," Rukia said, shaking her head, "But you know there will be speculation."

"So. Let them speculate, then. It doesn't mean shit. He's still the taichou until he dies or word comes down that he has been officially declared disabled. Neither one has happened, so he's still the commanding officer," Renji said, more snappishly than he meant to.

"Hey, don't bite my head off. I am really glad you're sticking up for him. I just...Renji, you have to realize that you are going to be put under pressure...probably soon."

"I don't care," said Renji, studying Byakuya's peaceful expression, "That man is my taichou, and no fucking speculation is going to change that."

Rukia smiled sympathetically.

"Thank you, Renji...for protecting him."

"No thanks are..."

"I know, but thanks, just the same."

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya drifted in and out of awareness, flickers of sensation teasing him intermittently and leaving him wondering if they really meant that he was going to eventually surface, or if it was just the flutters of a body fading away and making its last grabs at anything other than stillness...darkness...numbness...emptiness. He lost certainty as to whether Renji and Rukia were still with him or not. He sighed inwardly, missing the touches of reiatsu that used to reassure him that people and things were where, and as they should be, that his world was still, in some way, neat and orderly.

But in only a few hours, his world had changed so that it was now beyond recognition.

And now, there was no going back to what it had been.

Flashes of memory began to light and fade in his mind...bright exchanges of power...battle cries rising into terrified screams...the rumble of heavy explosions breaking apart barriers and sending buildings tumbling...groans of pain and pleadings for help...sighs of lives expiring...tears of the ones left picking up the pieces. It was a world broken apart, and he hadn't forgotten the role that his failure on the battlefield had played in what was happening.

That he lived to keep experiencing the pain of that failure might, he thought, be considered only proper punishment.

_I was a Gotei 13 taichou, and there is a responsibility that goes with that. As one of the few wielding power enough to loose bankai, I was responsible for using that power to protect the ones weaker than me. And not only was I defeated, my bankai was stolen by the enemy. Now, for each and every injury and death that Senbonzakura causes, I must do penance. I wonder if this state I lie in...poised between life and death...is part of that penance. I wonder if I was held back from dying so that I would know the devastation that my foolishness wrought._

_But was it foolishness?_

_The intelligence all said that what they possessed was a seal. Had that been correct, our strategy was certainly sound._

_I know that some have questioned why we did not wait to act until we had better information, but the quincy assault came too quickly. The enemy was inside our guard and bearing down on us. Had we met them with shikai, the outcome would only have been our deaths. We could not face them without bankai._

_What were we to do?_

He realized suddenly that the soft sound of an acoustic guitar had risen up somewhere nearby.

"Easy, Taichou," Renji's voice said, bracingly, "You're getting agitated again."

There was a long pause as the soothing music seemed to wrap around him and calm the storm of thoughts that had been riling him. He wasn't sure where he had heard the melody before, only that it was deeply soothing.

And when Renji's voice rose up over the top of it and suspended itself there, the result was melting.

**_Lyrical Content Removed due to site restrictions...PM me for song info_**

**_(Renji was playing Taylor Swift's 'Safe and Sound' here and below.)_**

The song moved into a soft instrumental that sent Byakuya's thoughts back out over the ruined Seireitei and once again playing over the destruction. But this time, he didn't feel the weight of guilt, so much as the feeling that the pieces were broken, but yes, they could be mended, fallen buildings raised again and what was lost restored. Yes, there were lives that had been lost or forever changed, but there was something more powerful that hadn't changed...

There was still the indomitable will to go on.

_And maybe,_ he thought, _That is why I'm still here..._

Renji's voice rose up again, calling him back across the broken ground and making the images fade...until all that was left that he could feel was a deep closeness with the man standing near him, making those celestial sounds that both acknowledged and relieved his emotional pain.

Yes, what Renji was doing was, indeed, a kind of healing.

**_Lyrical content removed due to site restrictions...PM me for song info..._**

"Tetsuya!" Renji said, setting down the guitar and embracing the noble warmly, "Gods, Rukia and I hadn't had any word from the clans. I'm so glad that you're okay. Taichou would be so relieved, I know he would. But...how is everyone? Is...how did Kuchiki Manor fare in the attacks?"

Byakuya felt a jolt of fear at the long hesitation.

"In terms of casualties, our house suffered several losses, but they were fighters we set in place to ensure that the family was protected. Byakuya-sama and I had a plan in place for the evacuation of the manor and subfamilies, and their protection, so that we had few losses that way. Kuchiki Manor was leveled and the gardens razed, but those are things that we can rebuild and mend later. The other noble houses took major losses. Many powerful clan leaders were killed, as well as women and children that they sought to protect. The Noble's General Council has been reduced to half its number."

"Oh my kami..." breathed Renji, "Taichou said that there were over a thousand upper officer to taichou strength representatives on that council!"

"Yes," Tetsuya acknowledged, "This attack has devastated the noble families. But you must understand. The enemy sought to break the back of the king's protectors here...they invaded Central 46 and killed what councilors they found, they brought down Soutaichou and several taichous and many officers. And they decimated the power of the noble houses that serve the king. They only await the arrival of the royal guard."

"Right..." mused Renji.

"Now then," said Tetsuya, pulling out a small pack and opening it, "I was gifted with this as I passed through the upper Rukongai on my way here."

"What is that?" asked Renji, sniffing hungrily as the smell of warm food filled the room.

"Ah...in a brilliant twist of fate, the people of the Rukongai, who the Sternritters left out of the attack, were kind enough to open their homes and pantries, it seems, to all of those soldiers displaced by the battles in the Seireitei. They have taken in the overflow of injured, and have offered housing and food to the remnants of the noble families who were forced out of their homes by the attacks. Come, join me..."

"Oh, I can't take that," Renji said, shaking his head, "They're giving us officers and people who may have to fight field rations to keep us powered up."

Tetsuya gave him a skeptical look.

"Renji-san," he said reprovingly, "when the information comes to protect our bankai, so that we can fight more effectively, we need to have strength to use bankai level power. I am afraid that 'field rations' aren't going to be enough. Please, join me."

_Thank you, Tetsuya. Renji needs to be prepared, and so do you. The Sternritters withdrew for now, but they could come back at any time. You must be ready to fight._

"Oh, sweet kami!" Renji sighed, devouring the warm, freshly made bread and hearty stew, "I thought this tasted good after a day fighting hollows in the lower Rukon! It's like freaking _heaven_ now..."

"Mmmm," said Tetsuya, between bites, "I must agree. Definitely better than field rations, I am sure...although not being in the military, I wouldn't actually know. I'm quite spoiled, really, but this is wonderful."

"Well, I'll tell you," Renji chuckled, "Field rations may have nutrients, but they haven't learned yet how to make ones that don't taste like crap and have the texture like you're eating a sponge."

"Ah," Tetsuya laughed, "I have missed something in that, truly."

"I can share my rations with you, if you like, so you can see," Renji joked.

"Eh, that is all right, Renji-san. Here, have a cup of sake."

"Sake? Oh...oh, Tetsuya, I love you, man..."

"Well, I am flattered, of course, but I will assume you were being figurative there and not literal."

Renji laughed.

"Eh...right, you know, I have my hands full with Taichou. I don't have time for another relationship right now."

"You are making a commendable effort to rouse my cousin."

Tetsuya paused and looked from Renji to Byakuya and back again.

"He is lucky to have you," he commented, Renji thought, a bit carefully, "Byakuya-sama speaks very highly of Renji-san."

"He...talks about me?" Renji asked, not sure if his head was spinning from the sake or the news that Byakuya even thought of him when he wasn't there.

"All the time," Tetsuya said, nodding, "You...hold great importance for him."

"Yeah," said Renji, his voice softening, "Ichigo told us that the first thing he did was to ask about Rukia and me."

He paused as sudden tears filled his eyes. Tetsuya averted his eyes respectfully.

"S-sorry," Renji said, clearing his throat and sniffing, "I just...with the damage he took. That he would be thinking about us, you know..."

Tetsuya took a soft breath.

"You mean a lot to him."

Renji glanced at the unconscious noble.

"He's special to me, too."

"And that is why he will wake for you," Tetsuya said softly.

"You really think so?" Renji asked in a suddenly small and uncertain tone, "I mean...I believe in him. But...it's just been so hard, you know. He's reacting sometimes with an elevated heart rate, but..."

"I saw Unohana taichou on the way in, and she told me that he tried to say your name before fading out again."

"Y-yeah," said Renji, his heart pounding oddly, "She told me. But...Tetsuya...it doesn't..."

He froze as Tetsuya's hand touched his shoulder.

"My cousin needs you, and you have been there for him. I appreciate that...as does the family. Please, continue what you are doing. And...I truly believe that he will wake for you. I will leave it at that..."

_That is as close as Tetsuya dares to come to admitting what he probably sensed some time ago. It has been building up over time, hasn't it? This feeling inside me. I have been talking about Renji to Tetsuya...never saying anything blatantly obvious, but over time, I think it has emerged more and more._

_It began as competition._

_Then, we learned to respect each other._

_Respect became camaraderie, and protectiveness._

_And now...now that it may be too late, I finally see it._

_Do you see it too, Renji?_

_Do you feel the same?_

Time passed and the room went quiet again. Byakuya's mind spun around those questions, his heart aching at thinking that he might never have the chance to know. He heard the guitar begin to play again, and Renji's voice gently lifted him out of his worries.

**_Lyrical content removed due to site restrictions...PM me for song info..._**

_**(The song Renji sings here is Written in the Stars, as sung by Westlife)**_

The guitar stopped suddenly, and Byakuya felt Renji move closer. He wondered what could be wrong, then his heart began to pound hard as he realized that his eyes were opened slightly.

"Taichou?"

_I cannot move them...and it is fuzzy, but..._

He heard running footsteps, and a few moments later, more footsteps entered the room.

"You see?" Renji said, breathlessly, "His eyes! They opened!"

Unohana taichou examined him carefully and watched him closely for several minutes. Renji's heart sank as she shook her head gently.

"I think it may have been just reflex," she suggested, "You can see there is no cognizance. And he cannot move them. But...do not lose heart, Abarai-san. He is coming along. Little by little, he is trying to return. Keep doing what you are doing. Talk to him, sing to him, bring him familiar things. Do whatever you can to stir him."

"Thank you, Unohana taichou," Renji said, still sounding sad, "I will."

He watched as she left, then walked back to his chair and sat down. He thought about picking up the guitar again, but couldn't make himself. Instead, he let his head rest on the edge of the noble's pillow and slipped a hand into his. He pulled Byakuya's hand close and kissed the soft fingertips. He wanted to think that they moved, but forced himself not to overthink it. He set Byakuya's hand down and just laced their fingers together and sighed wearily.

"Taichou, you have to come back," he whispered, "We need to talk...because...I think I've fallen in love with you. And...I just really need to tell you that."


	5. Legacy of Love

**Chapter 5: Legacy of Love**

**(I was listening to Anywhere by Evanescence, a song of some significance for me because I actually used it to practice a sword form for my martial arts training and thought that it really brought out the spirit of the moves. My instructor really enjoyed seeing that, but corrected my thinking in saying that it wasn't that the music brought out the spirit in the moves, but that a focused and passionate heart brings out the beauty in the connection of the two. Anywho, that song really captures the mood here.**

**Oh, and thank you to everyone suggesting other songs that come to their minds! It's so fun to go back and try other 'flavors' with the chapters after. Very cool!**

**Enjoy the chapter!)**

Renji could still feel Byakuya's soft fingers laced together with his, but had fallen into a deep, exhausted sleep in the chair beside his injured taichou's bedside. As much as he believed that being at the noble's side was where he belonged, and that Byakuya _would_ get well again, it was a relief to be freed from the weight of their situation to manage a few hours of actual sleep, even if that sleep occurred while sitting slumped over in a chair.

But almost from the start, the lovely dream that came to him seemed something more than just a dream...yes, more a promise of some kind that didn't have to be spoken to be true.

_He felt himself pulled away from his body, lifted gently, and carried out over the rain dampened, broken buildings, away from the icy devastation, the pain, the rage, the gripping hopelessness and transported to that place he had gone before to recapture the fighting spirit that had nearly been shattered by fear._

_This time, there was no rain in the gardens. The sun had returned and dried away the dampness. New petals had grown on the sakura and plum trees, and the soft breezes made them swirl all around him, tickling his senses and drawing him on. He moved forward on feet made silent by a carpet of fallen petals, following a small trail that led through the trees, then opened onto a sweeping, grass and flower covered incline._

_And ahead of him, at the top of a small rise, was the boy he remembered from before. Dressed in a fluttering white top and royal blue hakama, he stood frozen for a moment, as though waiting for something. Then, all around them, a gentle, rhythmic ballad began to play, and ahead of Renji, the shinigami boy drew his blade and moved forward in perfect time...every step, every strike, every turn of his head and movement of his hand lovely, precise, flawless. It was as though he had practiced this set of moves hundreds, no thousands of times. And as he went through them, his dark gray eyes remained tranquil, peaceful, proud, and Renji thought, happy._

_Renji couldn't help but be mesmerized by the slow, gentle pacing of each move, by the careful turns of his body, each shift of balance, everything down to the way that he breathed, part of the beautiful training kata that the redhead sensed that he must have practiced every day since having it taught to him by his father, who would have learned it from his father._

_Yes, he could feel the significance of this..._

_This dance._

_That's what this is._

_A swirl of petals swept up the hillside, startling the thoughtful redhead, then spinning prettily around the youth as he returned to his preparatory stance, then began to move again. And as he moved through the sequence again, Renji noticed something that seemed ever so slightly different. It wasn't, he realized quickly, the moves, but more the fact that each time the youth finished the kata and stood quietly for a moment, looking up at the sky, or capturing the swirling petals in his fingers, he seemed to look a little bit taller, to mature slightly. And each time he moved into the sequence again, his timing that had seemed so perfect already, seemed to grow even more precise, his turns more fluid and the cuts with his sword more deadly. But as he aged and grew more proficient, Renji noticed a change in his demeanor. _

_Where before, he had looked focused, proud, happy, his dark eyes began to hold flickers of uncertainty, then of worry, and finally a deep, profound sadness. And as the look of intense sadness grew, he slowed, and finally stopped moving. He stood perfectly still at the top of the hill, looking out over the open grasslands below him, his eyes tragically longing._

_He kept them turned away, even as Renji moved out of the trees and slowly walked up the hill. He sighed and let them drift closed, then slid his weapon back into it's sheath and only stood quietly, letting the breeze ruffle his silken hair and the clothes he wore. Renji reached him and stood facing him, not quite knowing what to say._

_"Ah," said the redhead, prompting the noble to open his eyes and look up at him, "What was that you were doing, Taichou?_

_Byakuya's eyelids fluttered slightly as he considered the question._

_"Ai no Izou," Byakuya said, still looking around as though expecting someone, "The legacy of the Kuchiki elders. It is passed on from parent to child, and has been with us from generation to generation since the spirit king taught it to his consort...our patriarch, Kuchiki Hajime."_

_"That was...really beautiful," Renji said, smiling, "but...it kinda looked like something that was meant for two people."_

_"Yes," Byakuya said, nodding, "It is."_

_Renji thought carefully for a moment, an odd idea popping into his head._

_"Well," he said uncertainly, "I am pretty good at following you. You want me to do that with you?"_

_Byakuya blinked and a blush came to his cheeks._

_"You want to do this...with me?" he asked, looking cutely flustered, "Renji, I...I don't know if you realize what you are..."_

_"Aww, come on," Renji urged him, "There's no one here. And hey, I've been able to learn everything about your fighting style. What? Is there some unspoken rule that some commoner like me can't..."_

_"No," Byakuya said, cutting him off and laying a hand on his arm._

_Renji froze at the contact._

_Byakuya looked down at his hand where it touched the redhead's arm, and the flush on his skin deepened._

_"If you wish it, I will attempt this with you," Byakuya agreed._

_"Okay," Renji said, summoning his blade and taking up a position opposite the noble._

_He couldn't help but notice the very unsettled look in Byakuya's eyes as they took their positions and the gentle swaying music returned. And when they began to move, the redhead was stricken soundly with the fact that, although Byakuya maintained eye contact, as he always did during their sparring, where his eyes usually looked dispassionate or confrontational, the eyes he showed Renji were widened and searching, questioning...maybe hopeful._

_What is with him?_

_He's acting so strangely._

_He seems surprised about something...maybe that I'm able to follow him so easily. But that shouldn't be a surprise after all of the training we've done together, plus, I saw him do this more than a few times while I was watching. Piece of cake, ne?_

_The unsettled look in Byakuya's eyes told a different story, and the very slight tremor in his lips, the quickening of his breath...all of the tiny signs of stress that Renji, as a fighter, had learned to watch for, evidenced themselves in the normally stoic and collected noble's demeanor._

_But gradually, as the kata went on, his eyes calmed and grew more peaceful again. They looked into Renji's raptly now, as the noble lunged and Renji stepped back and blocked, as Renji flash stepped forward, while Byakuya turned gracefully and parried. It was beyond enchanting, Renji thought, how the clashing metal of their swords sang in tune with the gentle, rhythmic music as they moved together. Renji surprised himself by completing the exchange near perfectly, then bowed and returned to the opening stance as the music around them faded._

_Byakuya stood, staring at Renji in silence, a sort of confusion having settled over him, as if something extremely significant had happened, but the importance of it had been lost on the redhead._

_"Taichou?" he said, meeting Byakuya's eyes in askance, "Are you okay?"_

_Byakuya gave him a very rare and fleeting smile._

_"I believe that I will be...thanks to you, Renji," he said solemnly._

_"I don't understand," said the redhead, shaking his head, "What was this about? What did I do?"_

_Byakuya stepped forward, stunning Renji into stillness with the breath of sakura that swept over them._

_"We will speak of that later," the noble said, enigmatically, "Farewell, for now."_

_"But..."_

_Renji froze as Byakuya leaned forward and placed a petal-soft kiss on his lips, then as Renji reached up to take hold of him, shimmered oddly and dissipated into a swirl of bright pink sakura petals._

_"Okay, that's not fair!" the redhead complained, looking all around, "At least the kid last time gave me some kinda clue what I was supposed to do with him! You just show up, dance with me and disappear. And what's with kissing me like that! Taichou! Byakuya, hey! Come back here and tell me what the hell just happened! Byakuya!"_

"Erm...Abarai-san?"

"GAH!" Renji yelled, jumping awake and making Hanatarou jump back in surprise, nearly upsetting the small medical cart he had brought with him.

"Eh...sorry!" cried the healer, "Sorry! I'm sorry. I'm so stupid and clumsy..."

"Hey, forget about it," Renji said, yawning and shaking his head, "No big deal. Just...why did you do that?"

"W-well," said Hanatarou, "When I came in, you were smiling, but then you started yelling at your taichou, even though he's still unconscious. I wasn't sure if you were asleep or if you were awake and might have...er..."

Renji chuckled.

"I was dreaming, kid. Don't worry about it. I'm not loony or anything."

"Oh," sighed the healer, looking relieved, "Not that I thought you were or anything, but..."

"Okay, enough already. How is he doing?" Renji asked, changing the subject.

"He seems the same as last night," Hanatarou reported.

Renji gazed at Byakuya for a moment, furrowing his brow and thinking about his dream.

"Hey, uh, Hanatarou?" he queried, "Is Tetsuya still around?"

"Mhmmm," the youth confirmed, "Last time I saw him, he was waiting with Rukia-chan, and planning to join her for the humanitarian efforts going on."

"But, they haven't left yet?" Renji asked, standing.

"Erm, I don't think so, but..."

He blinked and stared as Renji disappeared out of the room.

"Huh..." he sighed, leaning over Byakuya again.

Renji ran down the stairs and pelted out into the first floor hallway, gaining the hospital lobby and spotting Rukia standing with Tetsuya and talking quietly.

"Tetsuya!" called the redhead, sliding to a stop in front of them, "Hey, I need to ask you something, okay?"

"Certainly, Renji-san," said the noble, smiling at his flushed and slightly panting friend, "What is it?"

"Ai no Izou!" Renji panted, "Wh-what is it?"

Tetsuya frowned, then his eyes widened in surprise and he caught his breath softly.

"What?" Renji asked quickly.

"You said, Ai no Izou?" the noble queried.

"Yeah," the redhead said, starting to slow his breathing, "I need to know what it is."

"Well," said the noble, blushing and looking somewhat uncomfortable, "Renji-san, I wish I could help you, but...I am not allowed."

"Aww, come on!" complained the redhead, "I'd ask Byakuya, but he's still out like a light, and I don't see any other noble types running around here, so, you're all I've got. Help me out, here, okay?"

"Um...well, maybe you could tell me where you heard that phrase?" Tetsuya prompted him.

"From Byakuya," Renji said quickly, "Well, in my dream...b-but not a dream exactly. It was more like I was in his inner world. It's actually the second time that I've been there. I know that it's a training kata, and he said that it's taught from parent to child, and that it was first taught to the family patriarch, Kuchiki Hajime by the spirit king."

"It sounds like you know quite a bit about it," suggested the noble, "Perhaps you should go back through what my cousin said, and consider his exact words."

"Hey, please stop playing games!" Renji pleaded, "I just need to know what..."

"And Byakuya-sama will, I am certain, tell you more when he wishes you to know its significance."

"Byakuya is in a coma!" Renji exclaimed, "How is he gonna tell me _anything_?"

"How did he relay the information, just now?" asked Tetsuya, pointedly, "Renji-san, the best advice that I can give you is to be patient. I promise you. You will have answers soon. And I will add that if you have been interacting with Byakuya-sama in his inner world, it is a sign of his powerful will, working against great odds to return to us. And in his time of such difficulty, he has rested his hopes upon you...entrusting to you the whole of his heart as he puts it to the task. There is no small significance in that. Is a little bit of patience so much to ask?"

"Erm..." Renji said, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, "Well, I guess not. But..."

"Then, I would suggest that you go and rest up a little. Give yourself some time to think things through. And...stay close to my cousin. You are obviously having a large effect on his healing."

"Huh..." Renji huffed wearily, "Is that so? Then, why's he still out cold? Damn, Tetsuya. I know it's not like I can just wish him outta this, but..."

Tetsuya put a bracing hand on the redhead's shoulder, his blue eyes looking into Renji's steadily.

"It is difficult to see the forest, Abarai Renji, when you are standing in the thick of the trees. Rest. Regain your strength..."

"I know, I know!" Renji said irritably, "And 'be patient.' Is that it? Why do I have to hear that so fucking often?"

He turned away from the two and stalked back to the stairway as they looked after him.

"Nice of him to acknowledge my existence..." Rukia commented dryly.

"Oh, I wouldn't take it personally," said Tetsuya, smiling at her, "He had reason to be thusly distracted, I think."

"And was he calling my brother by his first name?" Rukia went on, frowning.

"Yes," said Tetsuya, an amused look in his eye, "and without an honorific."

He followed as Rukia turned and left the healing center, stopping for a moment to look in the direction that Renji had gone.

"I wonder how long it will be before he realizes the significance of that..."

XXXXXXXXXX

_Huh, _Renji mused as he walked slowly through the fourth division hallways on his way back to Byakuya's room, _Ai no Izou...Love's Legacy. I mean, I get the connection of love and family...and the idea of legacy...this special sword form, passed down from parent to child._

He thought again about what he had seen, how Byakuya had been in his younger state when he started, and how he moved through the sequence repeatedly, aging and growing in proficiency.

_But something else changed over time, _he remembered, _His expression. He looked happy, content...even hopeful, at first. But as he grew older, his expression became sad. And then, he stopped altogether and just stared out across the way, looking like..._

_Like..._

_Like he had been waiting for something, and it hadn't happened._

Renji slid to a stop, his heart pounding and his mind spinning as he remembered.

_"That was...really beautiful," Renji said, smiling, "but...it kinda looked like something that was meant for two people."_

_"Yes," Byakuya said, nodding, "It is."_

"Did he...? Renji whispered, "But I was the one who suggested it."

_"You want me to do that with you?"_

_Byakuya blinked and a blush came to his cheeks._

_"You want to do this...with me?" he asked, looking cutely flustered, "Renji, I...I don't know if you realize what you are..."_

Renji swallowed hard, an odd tickle inside as he entered the noble's room and walked slowly to his side and sat down. He gazed down at Byakuya's serene face and sighed. He leaned forward and let his head rest on the noble's chest, breathing in the light scent of sakura and listening to the soft, steady beat of the other man's heart.

"Byakuya," he whispered wearily, "I think that I might be beginning to understand. _Love is a choice_, right? And just so you know what my choice is..."

He lifted his head and gazed down into the noble's distant, senseless eyes.

"I choose to love you."

He closed the distance between them, placing a light, tentative kiss on Byakuya's soft lips, freezing with their lips touching as Byakuya's eyes cleared for a moment and fastened on his.

It only lasted for a few precious seconds, then the dark eyes flickered fitfully and became senseless again.

But strangely, instead of feeling desperate or upset, or like crying, Renji felt as though someone had just poured his strength back into him. He smiled and squeezed the noble's hand gently, then kissed his forehead.

"You just take your time answering," he said, smirking, "I'll be right here."

He rested his head on Byakuya's chest again, smiling at the fast clip of the noble's heartbeats and the very slight tremor of the fingers that were laced together with his.

_See...sometimes I can be patient._

_Just...don't keep me waiting forever...Byakuya._

_**AN****_**I shamelessly borrowed the idea of a lover's/fighter's kata from my story Red Samurai. I love the idea of warrior lovers sharing something so connected to both love and the fighting spirit. Hope you enjoyed that. Losing consciousness after being up until nearly 3:30 am finishing this...G'night...See, I do sleep occasionally.**


	6. The Heartstorm

**Chapter 6: The Heartstorm**

**(Gah! Company is about to arrive, so this is not yet edited and I haven't had time to respond to reviews. I will go back and fix later, but wanted you to have this as soon as possible. Enjoy! *hugs*)**

"Kuchiki taichou," Unohana taichou said firmly, smiling warmly as the noble responded by fixing his eyes on her and blinking slowly, "Isane, please note that Kuchiki taichou is making eye contact, and appears to have begun to have periods of wakefulness and sleep."

"Yes, ma'am," Isane said, nodding and writing into Byakuya's chart.

"Abarai fukutaichou will be very pleased at the development, I think," Unohana said approvingly.

At the mention of Renji's name, the noble's lips moved, but all that escaped were soft, unintelligible moans.

"Attempts to communicate," the fourth division taichou said, squeezing his hand, "Kuchiki taichou, not to worry. Abarai-san has only gone to meet with the survivors from the sixth division...to prepare them for any further skirmishes. He has not yet returned to duty, but only wanted to raise morale a bit. He will be back in a while. In the meantime, just continue to rest and heal. You are making excellent progress."

_This is 'excellent progress?' Yes, my mind is frighteningly clear, but...I cannot move more than my eyes and sometimes, my arms and legs. I cannot speak. And I fade in and out without any real control._

He was aware of their leaving, and of the room going quiet again. He kept his eyes open, fearing a fall back into senselessness.

_Yes...it is a constant fear that I will lose consciousness again. I am almost glad that I have so little control over when I wake and sleep. If my emotions affected it, I would not sleep, for fear of never waking. Gods...I have become such a coward. I wonder if, once corrupted by that thing, one ever regains his fearlessness. Or will I always be tormented by what he did to me? I understand why our subordinates were driven mad and died screaming. Even now, days after, the images are still there..._

He flinched and caught his breath, the horrid image of Rukia's decaying face looming up in his mind again.

_It was always there, after Hisana died and I found Rukia...that fear of losing Rukia as well. Even when nothing threatened, I remembered how suddenly everything fell apart before, and it did make me worry. But I became adept at forcing down those baseless worries. There was nothing I could do about them. And I believed, in any case, that my strength would be enough to protect Rukia. I was fooling myself. In the end, my strength was undone easily. And I could not protect Rukia, Renji, Soul Society, nor even myself!_

He could feel the tears that leaked onto his face, but could do nothing to stop them or brush them away.

_I've been reduced to nothing...not a shred of what I was before! My strength...my powers...my pride...my body...all were shattered. What is left? I am nothing of what I was. _

_Why am I still here? _

_Why?_

_What use am I to anyone? All I can do is breathe, see a little, moan and thrash about, cry and feel fear._

_And this horrid emptiness inside...where Senbonzakura used to be. Will I ever feel his presence...hear his voice...channel his power through my body again? Or will I always be this empty?_

_What am I to do?_

_Where do I go from this point?_

_I want out of this! _

_Let me out of this!_

_Let me out! _

_LET ME GO!_

He heard the sound of someone screaming...saw the table beside the bed crash to the floor and heard running feet in the corridor outside his room. The world seemed to spin oddly around him, and somehow, he was out of bed and on his feet for just a moment, staring as the door slammed open and a group of healers ran into the room. Reiatsu exploded, out of control from somewhere inside him, and more screams sounded.

"Bring Unohana taichou, quickly!"

Hands took hold of him from all sides at once and dragged him down. A metal band snapped shut around his wrist and a needle bit into his flesh. A moment later, another flash of fear fell over him as he began to lose awareness again.

"NO!" he heard himself scream, "STOP!"

"Kuchiki taichou," said the breathless voice of one of the healers who held him, "We are not trying to hurt you. You will injure yourself, sir!"

But if he could move again, then he could fight. And he threw everything into struggling to free himself, screaming at the healers furiously as they worked together to bring him to the floor. He felt his resistance began to weaken as the drug he had been given took effect. His control over himself disappeared again and he went limp and collapsed, still held tightly around the waist and along every limb.

"Thank kami," sighed the healer holding him around the waist, "I wasn't expecting he would ever get up or use his powers again, you know?"

"Shut up!" hissed another healer, "Don't say that! He could hear."

"Sorry."

Inside Byakuya's feverish mind, the words crashed down forcefully.

_Then...they were lying to me. It was worse than they said. They don't expect me to come out of this..._

_It was as I feared all along._

_I could be like this forever._

He felt tears well up in his eyes again, but found he didn't care anymore.

_If it was going to be this way, why didn't they just let me go honorably? Why let me hurl myself against these barriers when the only result would be a deepening of the disgrace I already felt?_

"Kuchiki taichou," Unohana's voice said quietly, "It will be all right. Do not mind the restraints. They are there for your protection, now that you are able to move your limbs. I know you are distressed over the state you are in, but this is part of the healing process. It means that you are improving. Rest now. I have sent for Abarai-san."

_As though that matters, now..._

_I know what they wouldn't tell me before. The people I have trusted all along...Unohana taichou, Rukia, Tetsuya and even Renji...are all lying to me. They want me to put up a fight. They want me to struggle._

_But what that healer said...the truth that no one would tell me before..._

_They are all lying to me!_

Devastation numbed whatever else he might have felt, and he drifted away, taken down once more to the beginning point of simply breathing. He wasn't sure how long he laid there, emotionally drained and achingly alone. Even the return of Renji's footsteps outside his door did nothing to ease his melancholy.

_What difference does it make?_

_He will only continue the lies. _

_I do not doubt that they are all doing this with the best of possible intents. But beneath everything, they know it is unlikely I will ever be myself again. Perhaps they do this to give me a chance to defy the odds. But...they cannot really believe..._

Renji's voice sounded outside his door.

"What happened, Unohana taichou? They said that he went crazy...got out of bed..."

"What happened to Kuchiki taichou is part of the process of his healing," Unohana explained, "He has regained some cognizance and has periods of wakefulness and sleep. He is attempting to speak, although he hasn't managed anything coherent as of yet. He is moving his limbs, and reiatsu has begun to flow sporadically through his spirit centers. These are all signs of his struggle to improve, and the advancement of his healing. But...at this point, we are forced to concern ourselves with making sure that as he awakens that he does not endanger himself or his healers and visitors. I have had him sedated to calm him for a bit, as he was extremely agitated, to the point of rising, although medically speaking, he shouldn't have been able to do that yet. It is a testament to his strong will, Abarai-san, and we must encourage him to continue to persevere, even though it makes the situation dangerous. Kuchiki taichou's will to fight is going to be the most powerful factor in his recovery. And anything that we can do to support him in his efforts will only improve his situation. This is the most difficult part that he must pass through, and it is clear to me that you are certainly the person he is showing the strongest connection to as he recovers."

"But, I am just..."

"Come now, Abarai-san. You must understand. He will not depend on his sister because of how he appears, as well as his losses of control. And while he is close to his cousin, Tetsuya-san is having to help hold the Kuchiki clan together, as well as watching over Rukia-san. You are his fukutaichou, a person he has, in effect, 'been to hell and back with.' Kuchiki taichou trusts you. And he is willing to suffer the loss of his dignity in front of you, because he believes that you will not think less of him for it. You have been his ally and protector on the battlefield, and you will be the same here."

"Yeah?" Renji sighed, "If I was such a great protector, then he wouldn't be lying there in pieces."

_Renji...that wasn't your fault. I ordered you to stay back. And when you saw that I was overpowered by my enemy, you ignored that order and protected me anyway. How can you really think that...?_

"Truth is...if I'd been a better protector, I could have gotten him out of there before that bastard hit him the last two times. And he might not have been attacked again at all. I mean, he was down, Unohana taichou. He only got up because he saw that I had attacked, and he used his shikai to try to protect me. If anyone is to blame for the condition he's in, it's me. Why would he trust me when...?"

"You are wrong, Abarai-san," the healer said firmly, "We have some knowledge now of the enemies that we have been facing. As Nodt is a vicious fighter, who would not have stopped attacking, merely because Kuchiki taichou could no longer fight back. They were ordered to kill the taichous they encountered, and he would have done so without hesitation. In other words, he would have simply dealt a final blow, then and there. If what happened was devastating, then a final blow, at close range, before he could yet defend himself even somewhat with his shikai, would certainly have resulted in Kuchiki taichou's death. Please take heart in that you actually prevented him from taking a carefully aimed final blow. Because you distracted his enemy just that much, Kuchiki taichou survived."

"Maybe," said the redhead, sounding less than convinced, "But even if you're right, simply surviving isn't enough. That man in there is a prisoner in his own body right now. And for Kuchiki taichou, that is fate much more cruel than death. I know him, probably better than anyone, and I can tell you that if he could, he would cut out his own throat, rather than have to look like this in front of other people."

"And what would you have me do, Abarai-san?" Unohana asked, in a still calm voice, "Would you have me let him fade away, just because it is embarrassing to fight to recover? I am a healer. It is my job to heal my patients to the best of my ability, using whatever means I must to do that. And as you are close to Kuchiki taichou, you are the one most able to affect how hard he fights. I am not going to give up on you and your ability to help him. And I am not going to give up on his recovery. I am committed to this. The only question is how much of yourself you will give to your taichou's healing."

Renji quieted for a moment, then went on in a low, strained voice.

"So...what you are telling me is that Taichou and I haven't left the battlefield yet. He is just in a different kind of battle..."

"...and he is depending on you to be at his back as he fights," the healer finished, "It is really no different than the fights you have fought in the past. I think that is why he trusts you so completely. And whether you feel deserving of that trust or not, you must set your own feelings aside and fight alongside your taichou. Go to him now. He has been nearly unresponsive since the incident happened. Part of that is due to the sedative, but I am concerned that part is a deeper melancholy. You must do what you can to raise his spirits, Abarai-san."

"I will," Renji promised.

Byakuya listened as Renji passed through the door, and his footsteps came steadily closer.

_So...they will not come out and say it to you either. They keep us both mercifully in the dark about the stark facts and allow us to fight together, as we are accustomed to doing. Given that...I would never dishonor the bond between us by giving in to our enemy. The only honorable thing for me to do is what I do every time you and I face an enemy together. I won't think about whether the fight itself is predetermined from the outset. I will step forward and give all of myself to the fight. And I will trust you to remain at my back, Renji._

"Hey," Renji said, sitting down and slipping a hand into one of Byakuya's, where it was set in the soft restraints, "I hear I missed some excitement down here. You trying to take on the world by yourself again? Damn, Taichou, you should have waited for me to come back. I would have helped you."

He gave a shivering sigh and rested his head on the pillow beside the noble's.

"I uh...met with our subordinates at the sixth...well, what's left of it, anyway. We lost a hundred or so, but the ones that came back are all real determined. We're down a lot of seated officers, but we'll be okay. We started getting what we could out of the wreckage and then Kyouraku taichou came and gave out assignments to cover the gates. They'll stay on guard duty for a few more days, then I'll be out, and we can see where we fit into things. Oh...the zero division showed up and the taichous went out to meet them."

_The zero division..._

_Of course, when Soutaichou was killed, it must have become obvious that we are not able to fight effectively against this enemy. Such a disgrace that it has come to this..._

"I'm curious about them. I don't know when we'll actually see any of them, ourselves. Anyway, things are okay out there, for the moment. And while I can still be here with you, I am going to do as much as I can."

Byakuya felt Renji's rough fingertips caress one of his wrists.

"You shouldn't pull on these. You're getting bruises."

He wanted to smile at the gentle swell of Renji's reiatsu that pulsed into his injured wrist. And when the restraints were released, and Renji leaned over him again, Byakuya's eyes opened and looked up into the redhead's expectantly.

"Ah, you're with me now?" Renji asked, giving him a weary smile in return, "Good."

"R...r..." he moaned softly.

"I'm here."

_Renji...will you kiss me?_

Byakuya took a breath and focused on one freed hand. He felt Renji's eyes watching closely, although the redhead was silent, as the trembling arm rose, and slender fingers entangled themselves in Renji's hair, then gracelessly yanked him down.

"Whoa!" he gasped, capturing Byakuya's hand and gently extracting the clenching fingers from his hair, "Ah...you know, if you want me to come closer, you only have to ask."

He looked deeply into the noble's expressive eyes, trying to read what he found in them.

_Kiss me, Renji._

He pulled his hand free of Renji's and reached up to touch the redhead's lips, albeit a little clumsily, with his fingertips. Renji brushed his lips against the noble's fingertips and looked into his eyes uncertainly.

"Byakuya taichou," he said haltingly, "would you be angry if I kissed you?"

Renji gazed down at him and let out a little, nervous laugh.

"Does that little smile mean that you don't mind if I kiss you," he asked softly, "or does it mean that you'll hurt me if I try it?"

_Kiss me, Renji._

_I cannot warm myself with tea, long walks in the moonlight, or any kind of logic. But I know that your lips are warm, and that the words they say make me feel warm inside. And I just know that if you kiss me, I will not feel so cold. Whatever happens..._

His mind froze as Renji's face came closer, and his eyes closed as the redhead's lips closed in on his.

"Ah, don't do that," Renji said, pausing, just short of his lips, "Open your eyes, Taichou. I can't do this unless I know it's okay with you. And since you aren't talking to me yet, then I think you should just tell me with your eyes. You don't look pissed, so I'm thinking this is okay with you. Tell you what. Why don't you blink twice if you understand me?"

Byakuya held his breath and slowly closed his eyes and opened them again, then repeated the action. Renji let out an even more unsettled breath.

"Okay," he said, breathlessly, his heart pounding in his chest, "Now...do that again if you want me to kiss you."

Renji gave a small, helpless sob as the noble's eyes closed, then opened again, closed, then opened again.

"Shit..." Renji whispered, breaking out in a sweat, "I feel like I'm gonna pass out, Byakuya taichou. And, uh, don't take it personally if I do, okay?"

_Just kiss me, you fool! Stop wasting time, thinking about it._

"Okay, okay, don't get mad at me!" Renji laughed anxiously, "You're going to do me in with that glare, Taichou."

_I will make you pay if you keep me waiting any longer, Abarai..._

_Renji, kiss me._

His reiatsu riled and his body shaking all over, Renji brought their lips together gently.

_I will not break, you idiot...kiss me!_

He moved his lips against the redhead's, parting his lips and moaning contentedly as Renji deepened the kiss. His eyes closed again, but he imagined that Renji's must be closed too, as their kissing continued, and a deep warmth flooded his body.

_Whatever the outcome, we have this much. And I want for there to be more. I'm not giving up then._

_And..._

_I think that you will also not give up on me._

_Let the rest of them think what they want to of me. They can think that I am weak and pathetic, and they can doubt that I will ever be what I was. But I don't hear them when you kiss me, Renji. I don't see them or hear them at all. All I see is your eyes. All I feel is your mouth on mine and your arms around me. All I hear is our hearts beating and the sound of our breathing together. And right now..._

_That is everything to me._

_I love you..._

His lips suddenly broke away from the redhead's.

"R-renji!"

He felt a tear splash onto his cheek, and Renji's head dropped onto his shoulder.

"You see," he whispered shakenly, "We're going to get through this, Byakuya...you and me..."

_He called me by my first name?_

_Why does it sound so beautiful when he says it?_


	7. Small Steps

**Chapter 7: Small Steps**

**(Just thought I'd let readers know that this story will continue in a sort of AU fashion, departing from canon, because in canon, Renji and Bya are off to the spirit dimension, but that would require a major rewrite...and really, I like how this is progressing. Feedback from readers seems really supportive of that. So, in this one, Bya will continue his slow recovery and Renji will set his sights on some serious payback on his injured taichou's behalf.)**

Byakuya opened his eyes and found himself smiling as he encountered the close presence of Renji's sleeping face, where the redhead had fallen asleep, lying beside him. He turned his head slightly and sought Renji's warm lips, teasing the other man out of sleep and making those lips smile too. The two exchanged several kisses, then Renji nodded towards the food tray that had been delivered.

"You hungry, Taichou?"

"J-just Byakuya," the noble said quietly, giving him a smoldering look from beneath a tumble of raven strands that had fallen over his eyes as he slept.

"You sure about that?" Renji asked, a blush rising on his cheeks, "You sure you won't just get tired of me after you're on your feet and lord of the manor again?"

Renji chuckled nervously at the glare he received and the hint of malevolent reiatsu that leaked through the reiatsu limiter on the noble's wrist in response.

"Eh, just kidding...Byakuya. Man, that sounds weird...I mean good kinda weird, but weird."

"Shut up," Byakuya said shortly, "Tea."

"Okay," Renji said, picking up the cup, "But just to warn you, it's just hospital tea, and I didn't make it. Oh, and it isn't hot because you don't get hot tea until you can hold the cup yourself and not scald yourself with it. Sorry."

Byakuya gave him another scathing look and reached for the tea, only to knock the cup over. He closed his eyes and sighed unhappily, then shoved the food tray off the bed table, sending it crashing loudly to the floor. The two watched in silence as an orderly appeared and began to clean up the mess.

"That wasn't nice," Renji said in a low voice, "but I get it..."

He waited until the orderly left the room, then sought the noble's darkened gray eyes.

"Look," said Renji, taking a steadying breath, "We knew this wasn't going to be easy. But, it's only me here with you while you're learning to do all of this again. No one else has to see. And if you're pissed, it's okay to show it. Get pissed. Get pissed and fight all you want, because that's how you're going to get your body to work for you again."

"Y-you don't under...s-stand," Byakuya stammered, "I am not...g-going to...get well."

Renji frowned.

"What? What are you talking about? Of course, you are going to get well. We just have take things slow and...and be patient. But you _are_ going to get well. So, don't say that!"

Byakuya sighed.

"Th-they are...lying t-to us."

Renji shook his head.

"No...I have it from Unohana taichou that..."

"LIES!" Byakuya shouted, shoving over the bed table, "I h-heard them s-say. I w-wasn't going to r-re..."

"Hey!" Renji yelled back, grabbing him by the upper arms and glaring at him as the orderly appeared again.

"Is...um...everything okay? Do you...need anything, Kuchiki taichou?"

"GET OUT!" Byakuya shouted.

The orderly fled the room.

"Stop it, okay?" Renji said, his lips tightening as Byakuya tried to shove him away, "And don't give me that shit about you not getting well! It's not going to be that way! We won't let it."

"B-but..the...said..."

Renji's fingers tightened on the noble's arms, making Byakuya's eyes narrow and darken dangerously.

"I don't give a FUCK what anyone said!" Renji exclaimed, "You are getting well, and that is the end of it! So don't say that shit to me again. I'm not gonna listen. The only thing I'm going to listen to is you telling me you're gonna kill me when you can get up and walk again, because I'd gladly die to see that, Byakuya! And if it is the last thing I do, I am going to help you get there. But you have to work with me. You have to trust me! Don't listen to what anyone else says, because they don't have a fucking clue as to how strong you are. I don't think even Unohana taichou knows how strong you are. But _I do_! I have seen you overcome shit that would have _killed _anyone else. But you do it because you _have to_! And you have to do this. Our division...your clan, your friends...and I...we all need you to come back to us. We need you to get strong again. So...don't give up on us...okay?"

Byakuya stared angrily into the redhead's determined expression for several long moments, then sighed in resignation and lowered his eyes. Renji's hand captured his chin and the redhead coaxed him into a slow, comforting kiss.

"S-sorry," Renji said, more quietly, tears coming to his eyes, "I...uh...I'll go and get you some more tea."

He started to climb out of bed, but froze as Byakuya's hand wrapped around his arm.

"Renji," he said, stopping and gathering himself.

Renji stared back at him wordlessly, blinking back more tears.

"I do...trust you. _Only you_."

The redhead gave him a sad smile.

"I know that. But...it's good to hear it from you, Byakuya."

The two gazed at each other silently for a time, neither knowing what to say.

"I'll go and get that tea."

He stood and started towards the door.

"I love you."

Renji froze for a moment, staring at the white door in front of him and wondering if he could have heard those words from that person. He turned back and found Byakuya's dark eyes fixed on him. The room went silent again as Renji walked back to the bed, then leaned over and kissed the noble on the solemn lips, then on the forehead.

"I love you too."

Renji took a soft breath to slow his pounding heart.

"I'll be right back. Don't get into any trouble while I'm gone, okay? No trying to jump out the window or any shit like that. I need you to be here when I get back."

"I will be h-here," Byakuya answered, smirking, "Go."

He watched Renji leave, then let out a shuddering sigh.

_He is right. No one knows what I am capable of. And the only way it becomes certain that I can go no farther is if I stop trying. But to do that would be to dishonor what has grown between Renji and me. And I cannot do that. I will have to keep trying then...despite how awful it is to have to struggle so...to have others look at me and shake their heads, thinking that I will never be what I once was._

_But, I am not ready to give up yet. I am frustrated at my weakness, that simple tasks have morphed into much greater feats. It is surprising when I do the smallest things. I have sunk so low from where I was._

_But all is not lost._

_I think that...as long as I have Abarai Renji beside me, I can keep my feet moving forward. I can block out the negative things people say about me, the way they stare, the limits they try to impose on me._

_How strange it is that this person who once dreamed of undoing me, is now the one person holding me together._

_Renji...thank you._

_And now, I will show you how you inspire me._

He sat up slowly and moved until he could let his legs drop over the edge of the bed. He rested there for several minutes, looking down at his legs and willing them to be strong enough. Under the limiter, his reiatsu rose to assist him in what he was about to do.

_I can do this._

_I know I can. _

_And if I can get myself back on my feet, then everything else will follow. I will be able to take back everything that I lost. Just...I need to do this one thing._

Putting the bulk of his weight on his shaking arms, he slid off the bed slowly, gradually putting more and more weight on his braced legs. Sweat broke out all over his body and his legs trembled warningly, but he stopped halfway on his feet, bracing himself against the bed and panting softly.

_I can do this!_

He swallowed hard and shut his eyes tightly, slowly letting more weight onto his legs until his hands only rested lightly on the bed. He let go completely, unaware that the door had opened, and that Renji stood watching him, alongside Unohana taichou and a very stunned looking orderly.

Byakuya took a steadying breath, his heart pounding as he took one short, shaky step, then another. His head began to spin with the effort and his legs weakened.

_Just...one more step._

He surprised himself by managing two before his legs gave way and he started to crash to the floor, next to the bed. He heard the sound of a brutally swift flash step, then felt someone catch him under the arms and haul him back to his feet.

"Renji..." he panted dizzily, wrapping his arms around the redhead and letting himself be held there on his feet.

"What are you doing?" Renji asked in an amused chuckle, "Trying to take on the world again without me?"

"Hah..." panted the noble, "I w-was walking...baka!"

"Yeah," Renji laughed, "But didn't anyone ever tell you about making progress in baby steps?"

Byakuya gave him a sarcastic glare.

"Those...were baby steps!" he stated primly.

"They might have been," Unohana said, smiling, "but they were very large steps forward, Kuchiki taichou. I must compliment you on surprising me with your strong will to succeed. But please, allow Abarai-san to help you back into bed and rest a bit now. You can certainly be up and around again later, but do try to pace yourself as you go."

Byakuya sighed and closed his eyes, working with the redhead wordlessly as Renji lifted him and helped him back into bed. The Renji's hands shook softly as they set the covers back in place over him, then brought the bed tray closer and picked up the tea that he had brought back. Byakuya tuned out the fact of the other man holding the cup and breathed in deeply, the welcome scent of his favorite tea.

"That better?" Renji asked, tilting the cup slightly and letting him take a small sip.

"Much better," the noble said contentedly.

He drank deeply, as he had wanted to do before and couldn't, savoring the return of something warm and familiar that he had wondered if he would ever experience again. He then sat quietly as Unohana taichou examined him, complimenting him once more on his progress, then watched as the healer and orderly left the room.

"Renji?" he queried softly.

"Hmmm?"

"I would...like a sh-shower."

"Huh," sighed the redhead, "You just don't know when to quit, do you? Didn't Unohana taichou tell you to rest?"

"I will...after. The w-warm water will...help me to sleep."

"You think so?" Renji asked, standing, "Okay, but do you really think that you're gonna be able to stand for that long?"

Byakuya gave him a tolerant smile, and a moment later, Renji's eyes widened in surprise, and a sweet blush roared across his cheeks.

"Oh!" he gasped, "You mean...!"

"Yes."

Renji blushed more furiously and nodded.

"Okay, yeah, I'll do that, if you want to."

He leaned over and glanced at Byakuya for permission, then loosed the tie on Byakuya's yukata. Byakuya watched in amusement as his yukata opened and the blush on Renji's face deepened even more. Renji opened his own yukata and slipped it off as Byakuya let his fall away, then the redhead lifted the naked noble into his arms.

"You don't mind me carrying you in there, right?" he asked, "Seeing as how you'll be on your feet for a while."

"I will tolerate it...this once," Byakuya said, smirking.

He held on tightly, resting his head on the redhead's shoulder as Renji carried him into the bathroom and set him back on his feet. Byakuya leaned against him as Renji reached in to turn on the water, then waited until the water warmed enough for them to enter. He held Byakuya against him and the two slipped in under the hot spray together.

Byakuya sighed languidly and burrowed his head under Renji's chin, then relaxed against the redhead, enjoying the feel of the hot water rolling down his skin, and the wonderful, masculine scent of the man who held him.

"Oh..." he moaned softly, closing his eyes, "Oh Renji, this is...!"

"Yeah," sighed Renji, "This feels...really good, Byakuya. Your skin is really soft and...you smell so good."

He made a sound of annoyance as his member began to swell against the noble's hip, and tried to pull away, but Byakuya only smiled and held on to him tightly.

"What's wrong, Renji?" he asked sleepily, "I like feeling h-how I have gotten to you."

"Huh," mused Renji, looking down at his growing erection, and feeling Byakuya's blossom against his thigh, "Well, I think that I'm not the only one who's been 'gotten to' around here."

He looked down into the noble's very contented eyes.

"What should we do about that?" he asked, moving in to kiss him.

Byakuya met him for several slow, indulgent kisses, then smiled at him, peeking through the mess of midnight strands that trickled down onto his face.

"Sit down."

"But...?"

"Sit down, Renji."

Renji sat down on the shower bench and held on to the noble as he climbed onto the redhead's lap, spreading his thighs and rocking his hips forward so that their thickened arousals rested against each other.

"Oh..." moaned Renji, his eyelids fluttering at the contact, "Be careful, okay? You do too much of that and I'll pass out, and I won't be able to get you outta here and back into bed."

Byakuya gave a soft chuckle and took the soap in hand, then slowly lathered their hardened members.

"Ah," Renji sighed, unable to keep from moving rub lightly against Byakuya, "Oh, do you really think wee should be doing this? I mean...you're..."

Byakuya's hips rocked forward again, stopping his words and making him groan and shudder.

"Oh...oh Byakuya...I really don't know about this...you know? But..."

The noble's mouth claimed his, forcing him into silence as the wonderful, scintillating contact continued. Renji let a hand slide down Byakuya's slender, water slicked back, curling a hand around his thrusting bottom as he captured their rubbing members with the other hand and increased the stimulation. Byakuya's fingers dug in slightly, the pearly nails leaving small marks in the redhead's skin as they continued to rub against each other. Their mouths opened, and Renji moaned wantonly at the feel of the noble's tea-warmed tongue invading hungrily, sliding up the length of his, then moving on to probe and explore the surrendered area thoroughly, lightly brushing against soft skin and sliding along the smooth backs of his teeth. He broke away for a moment, panting unsteadily as Renji's stroking hand brought him slowly to the verge of climax. His body quivered and it was all he could do to keep looking into Renji's amorous, red-brown eyes as pleasure washed over him and escaped him again in sweet, hot jolts.

Renji's arms wrapped around him again as the noble collapsed and went limp against his shoulder. Then, the redhead's body shuddered against his and his release erupted onto their skin to join Byakuya's. They remained that way, unmoving except for the soft heaving of their breasts as they slowly regained their breath. Byakuya was nearly asleep when Renji's voice sounded very softly in his ear.

"I've been wanting ask you. Do you...remember seeing me...in your inner world?"

Byakuya hesitated for a moment.

"Yes," he admitted, barely audibly.

"Ai no Izou," Renji went on, making Byakuya shiver for a moment against his shoulder, "I know it's a kata taught to Kuchiki Hajime by the spirit king, and that it is taught from parent to child. And I know it's meant for two people. But...what does it mean?"

Byakuya drew a soft, shuddering breath and lifted his head to meet the redhead's curious eyes.

"It means...that I have found the one soul in all existence...that completes mine," Byakuya whispered.


	8. Disappear

**Chapter 8: Disappear**

_"I've been wanting ask you. Do you...remember seeing me...in your inner world?"_

_Byakuya hesitated for a moment._

_"Yes," he admitted, barely audibly._

_"Ai no Izou," Renji went on, making Byakuya shiver for a moment against his shoulder, "I know it's a kata taught to Kuchiki Hajime by the spirit king, and that it is taught from parent to child. And I know it's meant for two people. But...what does it mean?"_

_Byakuya drew a soft, shuddering breath and lifted his head to meet the redhead's curious eyes._

_"It means...that I have found the one soul in all existence...that completes mine," Byakuya whispered._

"Ah..." Renji said, his heart pounding oddly as the words settled in, "Holy hell, Byakuya! That's some fine print, ne? I mean...I'm not saying that I..."

"Relax Abarai," Byakuya said bracingly, "I knew when you asked me to take part in the ritual with you that you did not realize what you were asking me. The ritual is meant to be that way. I was not allowed to speak of the ritual to anyone who did not ask me. And further, no one of the clan is allowed to explain about the ritual, except for the one involved in it, until the connection has been revealed and confirmed."

"Eh..." Renji said, shifting uncomfortably, "So...this is some test or something to...?"

"Ai no Izou was originally a test of loyalty and love. In the case of Hajime and the spirit king, the spirit king was warned that, as monarch, he had to be certain of the ones he allowed closest to him. After he made Hajime and the other noble patriarchs, he felt himself drawn to the first Kuchiki in a way above and beyond what he felt for the others. In time, he realized that he had fallen in love with his creation, and he wanted then to marry Hajime. But being that he was king, he had to be sure of his future consort's loyalty. So, the king's council of the time suggested a secret ritual that would reveal ones true love and loyalty. If Hajime was indeed that king's soul mate, and meant to be consort, his connection to the king would lead him to enter the king's inner world, where he would encounter the king and see the ritual. If he then was to perform the ritual with the king, and then performed it successfully, it would provide the proof that their souls were in balance...connected...resonating at a high level."

He paused for a moment, then let his head drop back onto the redhead's wet shoulder and closed his eyes.

"But understand that even once the ritual has been completed and the connection revealed, it is only an indicator of love potential. It is not a requirement. After they engaged in Ai no Izou, the king _asked_ Hajime for his hand. He did not require it. And he would not accept an immediate answer, but insisted that his love should take time to think about his decision. After all, becoming consort meant binding himself to the king for the rest of his life and consenting to bear the king's heirs."

"Whoa!" gasped Renji, "This is going kinda fast, here. Marriage? Babies? This...and...who would have the babies and...?"

"Calm yourself, Renji. No one is saying that you have to do anything."

"H-huh?" the redhead said, blinking in confusion.

Byakuya's eyes opened and looked sadly over Renji's shoulder, where the redhead could not see.

"Ai no Izou is not a requirement, but only an indicator."

"Yeah," agreed Renji, a little breathlessly, "Just an indicator that I'm the one soul in existence that completes yours. But, ah...no pressure, ne? I have a choice. I can walk away..._and leave you knowing that you will never be completed_! Byakuya...!"

The noble sighed softly, his eyes growing even more sad.

"Have you forgotten, Renji? I was married before. Did it not occur to you to wonder why I would marry when Hisana and I never took part in the ritual?"

"Yeah," said the redhead, calming somewhat, "it went through my head...yeah. So...?"

"I married Hisana despite not having found the person who could complete the ritual, because I encountered her in Inuzuri...and...after seeing her place herself in great danger to protect a group of young street children, I could not bear to leave her there."

"You mean that you and she...?"

"If you are asking me, 'Did you love your wife?' then the answer is yes. I loved Hisana. And if she had not died, I was content to remain with her to the end. So, you see. I will not be doomed to unhappiness or being alone if you choose not to become involved. I will not be _completed_, but I need not be alone."

Renji paused for a moment, suddenly feeling as though he had missed something important in the noble's words. He repeated them in his head, but only earned himself a headache, trying to figure out what he hadn't picked up on.

_What is he really saying to me?_

_He's saying the words, 'It's okay if you choose not to be with me.' but...then..._?

"Renji," Byakuya said softly, "Can you help me back into bed? I am...weary."

Renji turned his head to meet the noble's dark eyes for a moment, seeking his lips again for a few slow, tentative kisses.

"Sure," he answered, watching as Byakuya slid off his lap and stood, leaning into Renji's embrace as he let the water run down his slender body to wash away the seed that had been expelled onto his skin as they had exchanged pleasures, "You _should _be tired after working so hard to get onto your feet. And tomorrow, we're going to work on that some more. But for tonight, you rest. Rest...drink some nice, warm tea, and focus on getting better."

Byakuya swallowed hard and didn't answer for a moment.

"Thank you, Renji," he said softly as the redhead turned off the water, then let him sit down on the shower bench as he dried him off.

He wrapped a warm yukata around the noble, then was soundly shocked as Byakuya gave in easily to being lifted off his feet and carried back to bed. He set the solemn noble in bed, then left briefly to make tea. When he returned, he found that Byakuya had already drifted off. He sat down next to the bed and slipped a hand into the noble's, resting his head on the pillow next to Byakuya's and watching him sleep.

"I'm sorry if I disappointed you with the way I reacted," the redhead whispered, "It's just that you kinda took me by surprise, okay? I was telling you the truth when I said that I love you. And that means that I want to be with you. But, we need to take things slowly, you know?"

He smiled and brushed a few errant hairs away from the sleeping noble's face.

"I think you do get that. Because even though you've waited for so long and you didn't know if you would ever find that person who completed you, you didn't pressure me at all. That's got to have been hard for you, considering that you didn't even know if you would ever find me. I understand now, why you started to look so sad when we were in your inner world and you were practicing that kata, waiting so hopefully, and watching the years pass. I guess as you got older, you started to wonder if you would ever meet the person who could complete the ritual and fill that space in your life. I do want to be that person for you. And...I think you get that. You're being really patient with me, and I appreciate it, Byakuya. Just...don't worry about this. I'll wrap my mind around this and we'll be okay. Just relax and let it go for a while so that you can rest. I have to go back to the sixth to help out with a few things, but I'll be back, okay?"

He kissed the sleeping noble's lips gently again, then rose from the chair and walked to the door. He turned off the light in the room, not noticing as Byakuya's eyes opened for a moment, fixing on him as he walked out and closed the door behind him.

He waited for a time to be sure that the redhead wouldn't come back in, then sat up and turned on the light by his bed. He bit his lip gently, considering, then reached a slightly trembling hand over to a drawer in the nightstand next to the bed. He removed a small lap table, paper, ink and a brush and set them in his lap, then took a breath and picked up the brush.

He took another breath and let it out slowly, steadying himself and closing his eyes for a moment to gather his nerve. Then, he held the ink bottle carefully with one hand, while he dipped the brush with the other. He handled the brush somewhat imperfectly and a bit of the ink dribbled down the side of the ink bottle, but soon enough, he had the brush properly and not overly inked, and ready to use.

He poised his hand over the paper, thinking of the thousands...or tens of thousands of pages of his fine calligraphy were laid down on sixth division reports, Kuchiki council records, and in the Kuchiki family archive records. Then, he remembered the crumpled pages shoved into the back of the nightstand drawer that detailed his failed attempts to reacquire the skill.

_It is an expression of vanity, perhaps, but..._

He took another steadying breath and adjusted his hold on the brush, trying to make his hand still, despite that fact that it seemed to want to shake. But after a time, he seemed to gain sufficient control and touched the brush to the paper. The strokes were slow and clumsy, but he managed several readable letters before the muscles in his hands rebelled and tightened, making his hand shake and disrupting the next few. He paused and set the brush down, massaging his hands gently, then picked up the brush. He made several more passable letters, then was forced to stop again.

_"That is very good, my boy," Ginrei said, smiling and touching the perfectly formed letters with a fingertip, "You have a hand as fine as your father's. And that is no small compliment!"_

He wondered why the words that had used to warm his heart, stung it instead.

_"I think that you have the finest hand for calligraphy I've seen," said Aizen taichou, "I am quite jealous, Byakuya-kun."_

He swallowed hard as another memory jolted him.

_"It is not the words you used, Renji, but the fact that they are barely readable. While I understand that during your upbringing, your focus necessarily had to be on survival rather than penmanship, now that you are not struggling to survive, at least attempt to improve this to the point where the words are comprehensible..."_

He cringed at the words as they returned to him.

_It shouldn't come as a surprise that my own cruelty would come back to haunt me. It usually does...in one way or another, ne?_

He felt tears of frustration well up in his eyes as he tried to force himself through another few letters, only to find that they looked worse than Renji's ever had.

A tear splashed onto the paper, smudging the already barely recognizable letters.

_Why does this happen?_

_Why do the tears come, even against my will?_

_I used to have some control, but having been nearly destroyed and then put back together again, this body of mine does not respond to my will, but fights it at every turn!_

_Damn it!_

Another tear slid down his face and joined the first on the paper in front of him.

_Stop!_

His fingers clenched, crumpling the pages he had been working on.

_We should not shed tears..._

"Stop..."

Another tear slid down his face as he abandoned the calligraphy and shoved the crumpled pages back into the nightstand drawer, slamming the drawer shut.

_That is the surrender of the body to the heart..._

"Stop!"

A soft, unbidden sob escaped him, making him cringe at the sound.

_Why do I seem to have so little control over myself? _

_Gods, I am nothing like I was! No wonder Renji had to go away and think about things. Who would want to be with the mess I am now? I have no control over when I wake or fall asleep. I can barely stand on my own. I cannot speak or write properly, and my emotions overcome me so easily! It wouldn't be so bad if my mind wasn't so clear. But I see so very clearly how far I have fallen and I cannot stand myself!_

_What use am I now?_

_I cannot lead my clan. I cannot lead my division. I bring, not pride, but humiliation upon those who once looked up to me. This body is broken. And as much as I try to bend it to my will, I will never be what I was._

_I have to come to terms with that._

He hadn't heard the sounds of his own soft, repeated sobs since the death of his father.

_Yes, that was the last time that I shed tears so shamelessly. But...that is what you do when someone you love dies. And as much as I became angry with myself before, I loved who I was. Even though it wasn't always easy to balance the needs of the clan, the Gotei 13 and my own...I...was...content._

_That person who I was has died, then. And these tears that fall are the only way to honor the loss of that person. I will let them fall, then. If I let them fall, then I can let go of the burden of trying to be who I was. I can accept this new, powerless, quieter person who exists for but one purpose._

_I will bring something more to the clan, one more worthy gift that only I can give them. When Renji comes back, I will..._

_When Renji comes back..._

_Renji..._

Frustration raked his shaking body as sleep overtook him again forcefully, and he had no choice at all, but to quietly submit.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Ukitake taichou," Renji said, smiling as the thirteenth division taichou sat down in the chair next to Renji's desk in the partially restored office, "What brings you here?"

"Ah, I wanted to check in and see how you were coping and to give you an update on the taichou's meeting."

"Right, thanks," said the redhead, signing off on the last report and setting it in his outbox.

Ukitake glanced at the pile of completed work and nodded approvingly.

"You seem to be managing well."

"Yeah, well, Taichou always kept things in pretty strict order. And that turned out to be one hell of a blessing when the place got trashed. It was easy enough to know exactly what to do and to get it done."

"Well, I wish that I could say that the other divisions were in as good shape, but it seems that even the ones whose taichous are still commanding are in a world of disorder. And I just left the eleventh. Had to just put them on home guard because they are so buried in rebuilding and paperwork, they may not dig their way out."

"Eh, that's too bad," said Renji, a sad expression overtaking his face at the mention of the trouble in his old squad, "but Zaraki taichou never really spent much time concerning himself with anything but fighting and training to fight. Maybe while he is recovering, I could send Rikichi over to help them get things together."

"A very kind thought. You should follow up on that..."

He looked down at his hands for a moment, trying to think of how to broach the topic he had been sent to discuss.

"How is Byakuya?" he asked finally.

Immediately, Renji's body tensed slightly and he lips tightened.

"He's coming along even faster than Unohana taichou expected. He was on his feet and starting to walk."

"That's very good news," the Ukitake said, looking happier, "I am glad to hear it. And we were given an update that his spirit centers have responded to treatment as well."

"Yeah, he's not in the best control, so they had to place a limiter on him, but he's coming along that way too."

"Very good," the white haired taichou said again.

Renji nodded, but gave him a skeptical look.

"But something tells me that you have something important to say," he said solemnly, "Why don't we just get it out there?"

Ukitake cleared his throat softly.

"Very well. I have been asked by the other taichous to approach the three leaderless divisions and to work with them to...arrange for leadership...for the remainder of the conflict with the quincys. We all know that more attacks are coming, and we have no way yet to fight them effectively. The arrival of the Zero Squad will help, to some extent, but we still need strong leadership in all of the divisions if we are going to get through this."

"If you're going to tell me to do what I know he would do, then that's fine," Renji said shortly, "But...if you are asking me to take over for him, to take over his role, then..."

"I would not ask you to try to fill Byakuya's shoes," Ukitake said calmly, "As much as he has been your mentor, you are taichou class and have a bankai. All you need to do is to take the exam and you will qualify to lead a squad as a taichou."

"I am not taking over the sixth as a taichou!" Renji exclaimed, "I have been at Byakuya's side ever since he woke, and he is going to get well! And when he does..."

"If the divisions do not have strong leadership now, then we will not survive, Abarai-san. It is as simple as that," Ukitake said firmly, "If you are not willing to take the taichou's position of this squad, then you may be given another. But...as you know, someone will have to take Byakuya's place and lead the sixth. We are at war. All of the niceties that we usually offer our injured officers are put aside for that reason."

Renji took a shaky breath and glared down at his desk. Ukitake put a bracing hand on his shoulder.

"We have a few days yet before you return to full duties. Give this some thought and talk it over with Byakuya. I am sure that, being a taichou in a time of war, he will understand and even support what we're saying here. Just...go to him and make him a part of the decision...if that is what you need to do."

"Thank you, Ukitake taichou," Renji sighed, closing his eyes.

"You are welcome, Abarai-san."

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya heard soft voices outside his room and frowned, picking up enough of the words to make sense of the conversation, and feeling an odd ache rising in the pit of his stomach.

"It's sad. He's made such good progress. But, what are they supposed to do? It's the middle of a war and the first, sixth and eleventh can't run themselves, so they kinda have to replace them, ne?"

"Do you think Abarai-san will...?"

"Probably. That's what people are saying, anyway. And despite the progress Kuchiki-san has made, he is not likely to ever be worthy of..."

"Shut up, that's rude. You know there's no knowing..."

"Come on. Look at the writing on the wall. The guy was really powerful, but now he's just pretty to look at. That's all."

Byakuya felt a hard shiver pass through him as his mind was fired back into the past.

_He knelt in the bushes, tears still streaming down his face and Soujun's last words still burning in his ears. He couldn't let himself be seen, crying as he was, so he remained carefully out of sight as the staff and several visiting members of the council of elders searched for him. Two of the council members stopped near his place of concealment, sighing in annoyance._

_"This is no way for him to act. Running off like this. He is the heir, after all."_

_"Now, Isas, be kind," said Councilor Fumio, The boy has just lost his father. One should expect that he would want some time alone to come to terms with himself."_

_"Over what?" the other councilor said, shaking his head, "Everyone knows that everything that boy needed, he got from Ginrei-dono anyway. The only thing that Kuchiki Soujun ended up being good for was sticking his cock in his wife and making an heir with some actual ability!"_

_"Isas, mind your tongue!"_

A hard, devastated sob escaped him at the memory, and he put his hand over his mouth to quiet himself, so as not to be heard outside the room. He didn't hear the door open and close as he bent forward, holding his hands to his head and struggling for control. Renji's hand touched his shoulder, and he turned his head away quickly, reaching up to brush the marauding tears away.

The redhead climbed onto the bed and Byakuya turned into his arms, ducking his face into Renji's shoulder to hide the tears.

"What's going on?" Renji asked worriedly, "Are you all right? Did you have a bad dream or something? That it? You had a bad dream and you woke up and I was gone?"

"Y-yes," the noble said, brushing away his tears and remaining buried in Renji's shoulder, "I am s-sorry. When I dream, I am...unable to control my reactions."

"It's okay. I get it," Renji assured him, wrapping his arms around the distraught noble, "Just take a few deep breaths and let yourself wake all of the way up. Everything's okay."

Byakuya drew and released a steadying breath.

"I know," he answered softly, "I am sorry for worrying you, Renji."

They went quiet for a time. Renji captured Byakuya's face in his hands and washed the remnants off his tears away with a cool, wet cloth. Byakuya rewarded him with several, slow, deeply penetrating kisses, and a look of honest gratitude. They kissed several more times, and Renji concluded that the noble had calmed enough to talk.

"So..." he said softly, "Was it about...you know..._him_? As Nodt?" he asked cautiously.

Byakuya bit his lip gently.

_There is no way that I can tell him the truth._

"Yes," he lied.

"Sorry."

"It is...all right," the noble went on, "It is bound to happen from time to time. I will be all right. But..."

He paused, looking into Renji's eyes and hearing those harsh words about his father again.

_They thought that I was strong enough. But they were wrong. I lost a critical battle, and I lost everything. All that is left is a face that is pretty to look at...and a body weaker than my father's ever was. And unlike him, I am not even worthy to father my own child. Like a woman...I will bear my heir myself._

_And alone._

"You look kinda pale," Renji observed, "You need a healer?"

"No," Byakuya whispered, moving in to kiss him, "I only need you, Abarai Renji."

Renji smiled and met him for several deep kisses.

"Whoa...you're getting me pretty aroused. We'll have to...ah...take another shower or something..."

"No...Renji..."

Renji froze, staring at the words that followed.

"Renji...I want you to make love to me."

_I haven't much strength left, but I am strong enough to do this._

_Knowing that your soul completes mine, I can take your seed into my body. I can bring forth the heir they want._

_And then, I can just..._

_Disappear..._


	9. Making the Future

**Chapter 9: Making the Future**

_"Renji, I want you to make love to me."_

Byakuya was surprised and deeply charmed at the lovely blush the words brought to the redhead's face and throat. Renji was quiet for a moment, looking down into his dark, reflective eyes and smiling so warmly that it seemed to melt the aching numbness that had assaulted the noble's insides.

_But this is the difference between this man and everyone else. Renji understands and connects with me in a way that no other can._

_Why is that?_

Whatever the reason, it took away some of the sting of the harsh words and bad memories. He loosed them in a soft, shaky breath and settled more deeply into the redhead's arms, waiting for an answer.

"If you are...not ready to take that step, I will of course understand," he said finally, "And...I don't mean this to pressure you about...what I told you earlier. It is just that when we were together before, I started to feel more...like myself. I do not know how else to describe it."

"That's okay," the redhead answered, tightening his arms around the noble and kissing him slowly several times, "You don't have to put it into words. I think that you and I understand each other, words or no, you know?"

Byakuya gave him a tentative smile.

"I agree. And I would like this to be another expression of that."

Renji's smile warmed even more, and his hand reached up to cup the noble's flushed cheek as they kissed again.

"That sounds good, Byakuya. And it's not too much to ask. I've been thinking about that a lot today. I really enjoyed touching you like that...looking into your eyes while we touched each other. It just felt 'right' to me. I do want to go further with you, but...are you sure that you are...?"

"Do not finish that sentence," Byakuya said, touching his fingertips to the redhead's lips and giving him a warning glare, "I am more than capable of deciding what I am 'up to,' Abarai."

"Heh," Renji chuckled, "Sorry. I should know better than to step on your pride like that."

"It is all right," Byakuya assured him, "I understand why you felt the need to ask the question. I am recovering from injury..."

"Yeah, and improving by leaps and bounds. You're surprising the hell out of everyone," Renji said, startling Byakuya with the pride in the words, "Everyone except me, that is. I know that you are stronger than they give you credit for being. That's because your strength was never rested in just your body. You have a strong heart, Byakuya. And when you got hurt, it seems like your heart just decided that it wasn't going to give up. So, even though people were thinking that there wasn't enough strength left in your body, your heart made up its mind that it wasn't going to just accept that. That's what kept you from dying. It's what's making you fight so hard to get better. And it's why I think you're going to make a full recovery in the end."

_He has...that much faith in me?_

_He believes that strongly that I will get better?_

_Renji..._

_When you say things like that to me, I cannot help but keep trying. So much of my will to fight springs from the confidence you have in me._

_What can I give back to you?_

"I believe that too," he said, pausing to think for a long moment, "But...Renji, even though we have perfect faith in that, there are people in sensitive positions right now that cannot wait."

Renji's smile faded.

"There are...people who we are responsible for...fighters who need to be led. And those people need to be taken care of by someone who is strong enough to lead them."

"Don't go there, Byakuya," the redhead said, shaking his head stubbornly.

He broke off, staring, as the noble's slender hand curled around his wrist.

"You listen to me," he said, drawing strength from the warmth between them, "You once criticized me for not caring what my subordinates were doing...not giving a thought to how they were developing as fighters..."

"Taichou...!"

"You were right," Byakuya said firmly, cutting him off and staring deeply into his eyes, "I did not value them as subordinates, as fighters, as people, even. That is how I was, because I felt that it was my responsibility as their leader to be strong enough that those things didn't matter. If I was strong and powerful enough for all of us, then their strength need never be an issue. You were the one who made me see the error in that. And our division became the formidable force it is now, because of the changes that you and I made, once I accepted that."

"That doesn't mean..."

"Abarai," the noble said, the strength in his voice surprising even him, "stop letting your emotions get the better of you. Think like a leader. We have the structure in place in our division, but if we do not continue to give our men a feeling of structure, then they cannot give all of themselves to fighting in this conflict. That will cost even more lives than have already been lost...and will be lost from here on. You and I have to give them a feeling of structure and a leader who can inspire them to fight harder. It is all right for them to know that I have been injured and cannot lead them for a time. But they need to be able to trust _you_ to fill that space."

"I'm not going to..."

"You are," Byakuya said stubbornly, "You are going to do that. You are going to do it, because it is what is best for them right now. You are going to do it, because you are ready to lead them. And you will do this because it will give me the peace of mind that the people who have been out there, fighting and dying under my leadership will not be left alone in their efforts, merely because I am not there. But even more than that, you will do this because it is what you have to do to protect Soul Society. The quincies have a powerful tool that threatens to destroy our home and our countrymen. It is our responsibility to stop them...no matter what we must sacrifice to do that."

Renji stared at him silently, his lips still tightened in protest, but said nothing. Encouraged by his silence, Byakuya went on.

"There will be time after this conflict, for deciding where we are and picking up the pieces. We do not have the luxury of concerning ourselves with that now. All that matters now is gathering and applying what strength we have. And because of my injury, I choose to let you be the expression of my strength. Renji, if you will not pick up your sword and fight for yourself, then do it for me. Do it for our division. Do it for our home. We will have nothing left if we do not devote all of our strength to fighting. Do you understand?"

Renji stared into his eyes, a storm going on beneath the surface of those strong, red-brown eyes. He ached to refuse, but could see very clearly that the noble was not going to back down. Finally, he let out a shuddering breath and lowered his eyes, nodding in acquiescence.

"Okay..." he said softly, "If that's what you think is best. But I'll tell you right now that the second you are back on your feet and at full power, I'm stepping aside...even if that pisses off the powers that be. You are the Squad Six commander, and that's just how it is. I can fight on your behalf, but as soon as you are well..."

Byakuya stopped him with a powerful kiss

"Enough of that, for now. There is something I need from you before you leave me to go off to battle, Renji."

He pulled free the tie at the redhead's waist, loosing the top of his shihakushou, then reached up and removed his hair tie, letting the thick waves of red hair rain down around his shoulders. His fingers slid slowly through the surprisingly soft strands.

"I need you to share some of your strength with me. I have my own battle to fight, and I need something of you to remain with me, even when you are not here."

He sank onto Renji's mouth again, for a slower, more soulful kiss, as Renji's hands opened his yukata. Then, his fingertips began to gently trace the dark marking's on the redhead's chest. They continued to kiss as his hands moved, the graceful fingers surprisingly steady in their motions now.

_But this is the effect that Renji has on me. It is like the strength that I feel in his body becomes my own, and it inspires me to fight._

Renji freed himself of his uniform and laid down on his back, watching as Byakuya's fingers continued to explore the tattoos on his muscular chest and soft belly. He caught his breath as the noble leaned over him and followed the trail that his hands had taken, with a tentative, curious tongue. He gazed down at Byakuya's half-closed eyes and tranquil expression, feeling little shivers inside as the noble's soft, pink tongue ran lightly over the curve of his breast, working slowly down over his ribs, and making his stomach flinch in reaction as he moved lower. He felt a throbbing in his loins that increased immeasurably as Byakuya moved down in between his legs, parting them and digging his pearly nails into the sensitive inner thighs.

The noble's soft lips placed a line of kisses that ran from his navel downward to where his inflamed member rested amongst a nest of maroon colored curls. Renji couldn't help but blush more furiously at the smoldering look on the noble's face as he paused to gaze at the swollen, flushed organ, then stole a taste of the pale fluid that leaked furiously from the tip.

"Oh!" he exclaimed softly, jolted as Byakuya's tongue swept over his sensitive skin, "Oh fuck, that feels...so damned good..."

He went even more breathless as he watched Byakuya close his eyes and breathe in the redhead's warm, masculine scent, then open his eyes again to reveal a more feral look as he bent again to continue the teasingly slow exploration. He treated Renji's blazing member to an unhurried assault of long, indulgent licks and dizzying suction. Renji groaned fitfully, shifting restlessly under the noble's hands and Byakuya's mouth released him for a moment, then moved on to continue the lovely stimulation. He pushed the redhead's thighs open wider and commenced a stunningly deep and purposeful exploration of Renji's entrance that left the redhead a sweaty, shaky mess, his big hands clenching the bedding and his mouth feeling unbearably parched.

"H-holy hell, Taichou! You're killing me!" he panted.

He groaned louder as a fingertip teased the area and Byakuya crawled up Renji's body, then sank into the redhead's mouth again, stunning him with the intensely beautiful blending of their mingled scents and flavors. Byakuya's own piqued member came to rest against his, and Renji's hips rose to meet the noble's in a flurry of mind numbing thrusts. The lovely friction was deeply pleasing, but almost maddening in its beauty, leaving Renji wanting to rise up and overthrow the body on top of his. But remembering that Byakuya was still recovering, he forced his desire down and settled for a barrage of biting kisses and heavy thrusts that drove both men to the ends of their tolerance.

Byakuya froze as Renji's hand captured the noble's thick, wet arousal, and he rubbed it longingly against his entrance. He bit at the redhead's lips warningly and brought Renji up onto his knees, then spread his own thighs and straddled him.

"What are you doing?" Renji whispered, "You shouldn't..."

He stopped, gazing into Byakuya's smoky eyes and reading the look of insistence.

"Okay, fine, but do this slowly. I don't want to hurt you. Have you ever even done this before? I mean, with a guy?"

Byakuya shook his head gently.

"Okay," said the redhead, wrapping his rough hands around his taichou's pretty, white bottom as the noble lifted himself and moved into position over Renji', "but I'm kinda big, so tell me if it starts to hurt."

Byakuya shivered and clenched more firmly at his shoulders as Renji's member touched him. He entered the noble slowly, first, then rested his head against Byakuya's chest, listening to the his racing heart and smiling affectionately. He held on to the noble's hips, coaxing him down slowly, while working his way in deeper in a series of short, careful thrusts. By the time he was fully entrenched, Byakuya's flushed face was buried beneath Renji's throat and his slender fingers gripped the redhead almost painfully hard. He paused to feed the noble several warm, slow kisses as Byakuya's body calmed and adjusted, then looked into his eyes and tugged gently on his hips to coax him into moving.

"Ah...!" the noble gasped, so caught up in how good it felt to be touched so deeply inside that he failed to notice at all how his hazed expression was enchanting the man who was holding him, and trying desperately to rein in the desire to abandon gentleness and just love the very life out of the beautiful man in his arms.

But he met the redhead's eyes a moment later, and read the dangerously hungry expression there. And despite the slight pain that still registered, the noble forced his hips into motion, making Renji give a furious hiss and move with him. He fastened his eyes on Renji's then, and couldn't look away as his body rose and fell on the redhead's. Renji, for his part, tried to hold his hips still and let Byakuya control the pace of their motions, but as the shockingly beautiful friction continued, heavy flames of pleasure licked at him, teasing and taunting him until he couldn't stand it anymore.

In a swift move, he brought the noble down on his back and forced his thighs open wide. He thrust, hard and fast, almost growling as Byakuya's nails dug into his arms and the noble's cries of rising pleasure teased him into a near frenzy. He couldn't think anymore about being gentle, or holding back to keep from hurting the man beneath him. The two strained together, their sweating, shaking bodies locked into a furious race for completion.

They crested the wave together, exploding into climax in a torrent of heavy kisses and inhaling each other's passionate moans. The fevered thrusting stopped and Renji pulled away to slowly savor the warm fluid that had spilled out onto Byakuya's soft belly. The noble panted and flinched, his eyes hazy and his limbs trembling with the dregs of release. He watched silently, his dark eyes betraying deep warmth at the devotion of the redhead's mouth as it cleaned away the traces of their lovemaking.

Renji collapsed beside him, slowly catching his breath, then letting out a long, satisfied sigh.

"That was...amazing," he mumbled sleepily, "I won't lie to you, Byakuya. I have had sex with a couple of boyfriends before, but...it's never been like this. I've never felt anything even close to that."

He wondered if it might have been a mistake to have admitted so much right then, but was reassured by the noble's calm, slight smile.

"I was with Hisana for five years," he said quietly, "but she was fragile, and everything between us was necessarily exceedingly gentle. I didn't regret that, and I still do not. But...there is immense beauty in feeling my lover's strength...especially when my own is in shorter supply. You are right. That was amazingly beautiful, Renji."

He started to say more, but was interrupted by the sound of the Seireitei alarms. Renji's head rose off the pillow and both men tensed. The redhead's eyes fastened on Byakuya's questioningly.

"Go," Byakuya said softly, "You are well enough to be of some use to them...but Renji..."

Byakuya took a steadying breath.

"If _he_ is still alive and you encounter him...do not face him alone! Promise me..."

Renji took a shaky breath and nodded.

"Okay. I will make sure I have backup. But if I see that son of a bitch, I _am_ going to kill him, Byakuya. He is going to pay for what he did to you!"

Byakuya watched in silence as the redhead swiftly dressed, then offered him a long kiss of parting. The door opened and Tetsuya entered the room, his eyes serious as they met Byakuya's.

"It's _them_. I'm staying to protect you until this is over."

"Good," said Renji, "You don't leave him alone for a second, Tetsuya-san, okay?"

"Not for a moment," the noble agreed, watching as the redhead flash stepped out of the room.

Tetsuya moved to the window, his sword drawn and held ready as the Sternritter foot soldiers appeared in the distance.

"They will most likely not attack us here," Byakuya said quietly, "But...thank you, Tetsuya."

"You are welcome, Cousin."

Byakuya watched for several minutes, then cleared his throat softly.

"Tetsuya, is Arashi with you?"

"Yes," his cousin answered, glancing back over his shoulder questioningly, "Why?"

Byakuya swallowed hard.

"I have made enough progress that the clan healers should be able to meet my needs now."

Tetsuya's eyes widened.

"Byakuya-sama?"

"Call Arashi to the window. We are going to go to the family war compound."

"But...during an attack?"

"We have no choice. The ones there need your protection. As long as you are away, they are in danger. I will be safe there. And I can use what powers of mine have returned to defend myself, if need be."

"But shouldn't we wait until Renji-san returns?" Tetsuya asked.

Byakuya looked out the window as new fires broke out in the distance.

"No. He has to focus on protecting the Seireitei. I have to focus on the protection of the clan. Come."

He opened the window, shivering as a cold blast of air puffed inside. Tetsuya gave a soft whistle, and Arashi appeared in a flash step, down beneath them.

"Shouldn't you at least tell Unohana taichou?"

"She will know where I've gone. Let's go."

Tetsuya climbed out onto the ledge outside the window, then lifted Byakuya into his arms and flash stepped down to the ground. He helped the noble onto Arashi's back, then climbed up behind him, wrapping his arms around his cousin's waist and touching Arashi's sides with his heels.

_To the compound, Arashi._

_And...steer us well clear of any enemies._

Byakuya looked back over his shoulder as the stallion broke into a run, his insides chilled at the sounds of distant screams and explosions.

_It is better this way._

_This way, he can focus fully on the protection of our lands._

_Renji...just be careful._


	10. Bonds of Fear

**Chapter 10: Bonds of Fear**

Byakuya tightened his legs around Arashi as the stallion charged forward, urged on by Tetsuya who, sensing nearby enemies, drew his sword with one hand while keeping the other around Byakuya's slender waist.

"We cannot avoid them completely," Tetsuya relayed to his cousin, "but Arashi is trying to make sure that we encounter lower levels as much as possible."

Byakuya scanned the forested area they moved through and shook his head worriedly.

"That they are this far from the central Seireitei means that they are likely assigned to conduct sweeps, looking for the concealed noble clan members. As many of the stronger clan members have already been brought down, they may not judge that they need their strongest fighters, however, be extremely cautious in the use of bankai, should we encounter trouble."

"Hai," Tetsuya said, reaching out with his senses.

He breathed a command to his zanpakutou and set several waterforms as they ran, giving them an escape route in case they were discovered. Several minutes later, Arashi made a sound of warning and loosed a volley of kido blasts at several foot soldiers that had strayed into their path. Not having heard the approaching stallion because of the nearby crashes and cries of battle, the enemy was bowled over and unable to rally as the tall, black horse thundered by them and away again. He quickened his pace, his ears laid back as he ran and his sharp eyes scanning the areas to the sides of the trail. Yet, even with both his eyes watching and Tetsuya's, the stallion was surprised a moment later, when a dark, malevolent form appeared on the path ahead. Instantly, Arashi loosed a blast of kido, but it was swiftly swallowed up by the enemy, whose dark, threatening eyes rose, revealing his features. Byakuya inhaled sharply, memory cracking across his mind with numbing force.

"Use an escape form!" he gasped, loosing a bright flash of kido to momentarily blind the enemy.

But for just a moment before the power came to life, Byakuya's eyes locked with As Nodt's, and the clan leader felt a chill slice through his body at the enemy's look of surprise, then the predatory smile. But just as the golden thorns began to form around him, Tetsuya sent a group of reflections of them running in all directions around the Sternritter, confusing him enough that they were able to escape using one of the waterforms that Tetsuya had set along the way. As they disappeared into the rush of copies, As Nodt's eyes turned a shade icier and he smirked.

_You think you have escaped? You are very foolish, Kuchiki Byakuya. None have ever survived facing me. So none but you will ever have experienced the leavings of my power in their breached bodies. The effect is not permanent, of course. It will weaken over time as the reiatsu I placed in you via my thorns slowly breaks down. But...it will affect you for some time...and you are soon going to learn that it would have been better for you to die!_

XXXXXXXXXX

"Howl, Zabimaru!" cried Renji, sending his weapon crashing through the sea of foot soldiers in front of him.

"Reap, Kazeshini!" cried Shuuhei, flash stepping forward.

"Damn!" muttered the redhead, "These guys may not have much power, but there are a fucking load of them, aren't there?"

"Yeah," agreed the ninth division fukutaichou, "I was thinking that myself. And you know, Renji, it's making me really uneasy."

"Me too," Renji admitted, "Kuchiki taichou always says that the intelligent enemy never makes a move that is wasteful. And if he sends a large group of low level fighters against you, you need to be asking where the tougher ones are."

"I agree, that's good advice," said Shuuhei, meeting Renji's eyes meaningfully, "Maybe we should look into that?"

Renji studied the battlefield and let out a soft puff of breath.

"But if we both leave, then our forces here will be left to their own devices. If one of the more powerful ones showed up then, it could be disastrous. One of us should stay."

Shuuhei studied the battlefield ahead of them as he launched another attack, raking through a group of advancing enemies.

"Go on," he said quietly, "I can look out for my guys and yours. I promise. I will call a retreat if one of the more powerful ones comes this way. I will take care of them."

"Thanks, Shuu," Renji said, reaching out with his senses and choosing a direction, "I don't know what these guys are up to, but I know it isn't good."

"Well," said the other fukutaichou, "Since they already took out Soutaichou and put two of our strongest taichous out of commission, and they attacked the councilors of Central 46 and the noble houses, they'll look for whatever of those made out the best last time, and seek to crush it this time."

Renji felt an uncomfortable pitch in his stomach as he considered that.

_The Gotei 13 is in a shambles and Central 46 isn't even functional, to the point of us being under rules of martial law. That just leaves the noble houses, and among those, there's only one that escaped largely unscathed._

_The Kuchiki clan...though I don't know if they know that Byakuya is even alive. But still, that clan has a number of elders with bankai, and they have Tetsuya, who also has bankai._

_Damn!_

_I hope those guys are well hidden. But, I should probably check back with Byakuya to find out where they are so that we'll know if those bastards find them and go after them._

He took his weapon out of shikai and sheathed it, then flash stepped back in the direction of the healing center.

XXXXXXXXXX

Arashi changed routes, slowing somewhat as he was forced off the main trail and onto smaller foot trails that meandered through the trees. The sounds of battle faded into the distance behind them, and finally, the stallion slowed to a cooling walk as Tetsuya scanned the area around them.

"We seem to have eluded them for now. But...we had best get to cover. He saw us."

"Yes," Byakuya confirmed, "And he recognized me. I would say, by his expression that he was not aware that I was still alive."

"And he was likely not happy finding out that you are," Tetsuya said worriedly, "I want to think that he would write you off as not being a threat in your condition."

"But," Byakuya said softly, "As they have most certainly been instructed to break the back of the clans, they will pursue any living clan leader they spot, even an already weakened one. This is not child's play, but a meticulous, well thought out plan of destruction."

"I agree," said Tetsuya, "but that last move did fool him."

"We were lucky," said Byakuya, shaking his head, "We must be vigilant and pray that our luck continues to hold out."

They went quiet, listening to the softer, more normal forest sounds and keeping their senses carefully extended. Byakuya was encouraged by the return of peace to the area, and the fact that the creatures around them in the forest seemed to be convinced that the trouble had resolved itself.

_But as I recall, As Nodt was capable of great stealth and of concealing his reiatsu to allow him greater mobility. After the way we came upon him so suddenly, I am even more convinced of this. Although my senses are not as sharp right now, Tetsuya's are in no way impaired. So then, we must remain cautious._

But as they moved forward, the area around them remained calm and peaceful, and the distant sounds of battle faded altogether.

"I wonder what they were trying to do," mused Tetsuya, "They used mostly foot soldiers in the central area and we saw only that one powerful Sternritter."

"You know what they were doing," Byakuya said solemnly, "They are sweeping the forested areas to try to find and decimate the hidden nobles. The ones they are successful in finding will be massacred. And the devastating fact is that we have nothing to resist them with. Everything in Soul Society is made of spirit particles, so whatever we throw at them, they simply absorb and use against us. The only damage I was able to do was with my shikai. I think that it was simply too fast for even that creature I fought to contend with. So...we should attempt to use speed and stealth as much as possible in our efforts."

Byakuya went quiet as they reached the sealed entrance to the underground caverns. Tetsuya smiled encouragingly as they passed through the seal.

"Well," he said, looking around at the comfortably furnished and fully stocked underground hideout, "I must say that despite being concerned that they are still searching so persistently for us, their search pattern was off this time."

Byakuya nodded.

"We must hope that our luck continues to hold out then."

Arashi stopped in the entry, and the three were quickly greeted by attendants. Arashi was led off to the animal housings and Koji urged Tetsuya in the direction of the baths. Torio dropped to his knees in front of Byakuya and bowed his head.

"The outer guards relayed that you were coming," the young attendant said in a shaky voice, his head lifting slightly so that his gentle brown eyes met the clan leader's, "I had thought that you were not well enough to come back to us, Byakuya-sama, but I am so glad to see you, sir!"

Tears leaked onto his face and he turned his head away again to hide them. I wanted to go to you, but we were warned not to leave here."

"And you were wise to listen to that advice, Torio," Byakuya said quietly, "Come now, I will need some assistance as my wounds are not yet fully healed."

"Of course, Byakuya-sama!" the youth said, brightening.

He rose and slipped an arm around the clan leader, turning him away from the main corridors to avoid him being seen as they headed towards the baths. Tetsuya and Koji were already undressed and standing beneath the warm fall of water in the bathing area when they arrived. Torio and Koji exchanged looks of greeting.

"Byakuya-sama," Tetsuya said, smiling.

Byakuya nodded silently, waiting as Torio undressed himself, laying a wrap around his waist, then undressed Byakuya and followed him to the falls.

"It is a good thing that we have always kept this place well provisioned," commented Tetsuya, "Several times, the council wanted to cut costs by neglecting it, but now I think they see the wisdom of you insisting that we maintain it always."

"Yes, we are fortunate," agreed Byakuya, slowly letting the warm water soothe his badly aching body, then sitting down in a nearby soaking pool to ease the pressure on his back and legs, "However, using our failsafe means that we are more vulnerable now. Should we be discovered, we will be at the mercy of the enemy, the elements and our own basic needs. Our situation is even more precarious than before."

"Yes," agreed Tetsuya, "But, we are still free. Some of the clans were so damaged that they had to flee to the Rukongai and are in hiding there. It is a kindness that the people of that place are so hospitable. But, I have heard that the Sternritters have threatened to level any district that hides noble family members. To prove their intent, they have already attacked and slaughtered most of the inhabitants of the fourteenth district, upon finding a group of nobles being hidden there. People are becoming terrified. And that is what our enemy wants. They want us to become so afraid for ourselves that we will no longer look out for each other."

"However," Byakuya said softly, visions of Hisana, Rukia, Renji and Tetsuya passing through his thoughts, "I do not think that they understand the strength of heart that guides much of the citizenry of the Rukongai. Those people are used to looking out for those in harsher circumstances than themselves. As we of the noble clans have our sort of pride, they have theirs as well."

"True," agreed Tetsuya, closing his eyes and stepping back under the fall of water to rinse himself clean.

The attendants finished bathing the two, then followed them back to the edge of the bathing pool. They dressed quickly, and Tetsuya moved to assist Byakuya as they led the noble to his quarters. Torio made the clan leader comfortable in the bed, then left to make tea. Tetsuya and Koji left, and Tetsuya returned a short time later alongside the clan's head elder.

"Nori," Byakuya greeted the old man, "I am glad that you are well. What are our circumstances?"

Nori sat down at Byakuya's bedside, his aged blue eyes fixing on the clan leader.

"The main compound and Kuchiki council hall were successfully evacuated and the family archive was locked down so that no one will be able to enter but you or one bearing your token of permission. The council and stronger subfamily leaders provided protection during the evacuation and we had no losses of women or children. We did lose a number of house guards who led the enemy away, and we lost Leiko and Isas of the subfamilies when they created a diversion to keep us from being seen as we crossed over into the protected area here. But...they took all enemies with them, so there was no one to report what happened."

"I see," Byakuya said, lowering his eyes as he remembered the faces of the fallen, "We have been fortunate. But you need to meet with the council and inform them that sweeps of the forested areas are being conducted by the enemy. Security must be kept tight, and we must be prepared to evacuate the compound if we should be discovered."

"Of course," said Nori, "But do you not wish to meet with the council yourself, Byakuya-sama?"

Byakuya shook his head gently.

"It is common knowledge that my strength was broken and that I am relatively powerless."

"But yours has not been ruled a 'permanent condition,' ne? You are...?"

"I am able to walk and speak to some extent, and my reiatsu is slowly returning to normal levels. However, Senbonzaukra is still recovering, so I command only the flash step and some kido abilities. And even when my weapon will come to my hand again, I have lost use of my bankai. Not only that, but it is in the hands of the enemy and may well be used against us."

"I understand all of this," Nori said, looking into Byakuya's dark, troubled eyes, "But, it is not simply powers that define our leaders. Some very exceptional leaders in our history were not the most powerful, but were masters of strategy, and of employing the powers they had."

He placed a warm hand on the clan leader's shoulder.

"But very well. You are likely weary from your journey here. Just know that the ones here are encouraged by your presence. Rest well, Byakuya-sama. I will send the council notes along after we have met."

"Thank you, Nori."

XXXXXXXXXX

"What the hell do you mean he's gone!" Renji exclaimed, staring into Byakuya's abandoned hospital room, "His stuff is all still here. And I know there hasn't been time for..."

"It was the middle of an attack, sir," the healer explained, "We saw his cousin go in, and he said that he was there to protect Kuchiki taichou! We had no way to know they would leave...and during the attack. That is crazy!"

Renji let out a frustrated breath and shook his head.

"I'm sorry. I guess it's not your fault, especially with the attack and more wounded coming in."

The door opened and several orderlies entered the room.

"What's up?" asked the redhead.

"We've been ordered to clean this room and make a place for other patients."

"Ah, right," said Renji, "Well, give me a sec, okay? I'll gather Kuchiki taichou's things and get them out of your way, okay?"

"Erm, if you wish, Abarai fukutaichou," said one of the orderlies, "We were rather surprised he left everything like that."

"Well, don't worry about it. I'll just take his things back to the sixth with me."

"Very well, sir," said the orderly, "We will come back."

The healer and the orderlies left the room, and Renji sat down on the edge of the bed, letting out a puff of breath as he landed. He looked around at the few yukatas and personal items that had been left behind and sighed.

_You left in a hurry. Was there some kind of trouble?_

He sighed softly.

_Or were you running away from something?_

His mind went back to the moments just before their lovemaking.

_"There will be time after this conflict, for deciding where we are and picking up the pieces. We do not have the luxury of concerning ourselves with that now. All that matters now is gathering and applying what strength we have. And because of my injury, I choose to let you be the expression of my strength. Renji, if you will not pick up your sword and fight for yourself, then do it for me. Do it for our division. Do it for our home. We will have nothing left if we do not devote all of our strength to fighting. Do you understand?"_

_Renji stared into his eyes, a storm going on beneath the surface of those strong, red-brown eyes. He ached to refuse, but could see very clearly that the noble was not going to back down. Finally, he let out a shuddering breath and lowered his eyes, nodding in acquiescence._

_"Okay..." he said softly, "If that's what you think is best. But I'll tell you right now that the second you are back on your feet and at full power, I'm stepping aside...even if that pisses off the powers that be. You are the Squad Six commander, and that's just how it is. I can fight on your behalf, but as soon as you are well..."_

_Byakuya stopped him with a powerful kiss_

_"Enough of that, for now. There is something I need from you before you leave me to go off to battle, Renji."_

_He pulled free the tie at the redhead's waist, loosing the top of his shihakushou, then reached up and removed his hair tie, letting the thick waves of red hair rain down around his shoulders. His fingers slid slowly through the surprisingly soft strands._

_"I need you to share some of your strength with me. I have my own battle to fight, and I need something of you to remain with me, even when you are not here."_

"Is that it then?" Renji whispered, "You were already planning to leave and you wanted to just make love to me and go? Why? Why would you do that?"

He shook his head again and rose, then walked around the room, collecting the things that the noble had left behind. He put the items in a box and set it down on the bed, then dropped back onto it himself and sighed discontentedly. A moment later, a slip of paper that was sticking slightly out of the drawer caught his eye. Frowning, he opened the drawer and found a lap top table, paper, brushes and ink. He pulled them out and added them to the box, then caught sight of a number of crumpled pages still in the drawer.

Renji opened one of the crumpled bits and studied the page quietly. Tears came to his eyes and realization started to fall over him as he observed the clumsy, meandering attempts at writing.

_His name. It's the thing he wrote most repeatedly and the one thing that should be easiest. But nothing is easy for Byakuya now. His powers failed him, his body was broken, and no matter what he won't admit, he's got to be scared that he'll never get better. Yeah, that's what he's been worried about all along._

_But what he said to me before I left...the whole way that he acted. I've seen what he's like when he's trying to make progress, and that wasn't it. He made love with me. Then he left to return to the clan. And he'll let them spoil him, and tell him it's okay for him to step aside and stop trying. He'll just let himself fall apart and fade away._

Renji glared intently at the paper, wanting to make it burst into flames.

"That doesn't mean shit, Byakuya," he said softly.

He took a shuddering breath and threw the crumpled pages in the trash, then picked up the box and started for the door.

"Running away from this, letting yourself go is not going to solve anything. Yeah, others can step into your place and take over...me at the division and someone else in your clan. But, we're not you. And you're not done."

_Damn you, Byakuya, I'm not going to let you quit!_

_And running back to your family is not going to make me._

_If you want me to leave you, then you'd better be prepared to tell me yourself._

_Because that's the only way you'll convince me!_

He flash stepped out the door and found Rikichi waiting for him.

"What's up? What's going on? Is the attack over?" he asked.

"Yes, Abarai fukutaichou," the youth reported, "We defeated the foot soldiers. But, while we were doing that, a group of stronger quincys found a group of nobles in hiding in the forest and killed them all...men, women and children too, sir! There was no stopping them!"

Renji's heart leapt into his throat.

"Wh-what clan?" he asked thickly.

"The Yamashita clan, sir."

_It's still horrible._

_But, at least the Kuchiki clan is still safe._

_And while it's quiet, I can go to find you. You can try to run from this, but I won't let you. You helped me, a person who once betrayed you, to grow strong. _

_And now it is my turn to help you._

XXXXXXXXXX

"Have any of the searchers sensed anything?" As Nodt asked in a low, quiet voice, "Has there been any sign of him?"

"No," said the messenger, "And his majesty has ordered us to pull back again and give our reports."

"Then do that," said As Nodt, turning away, "Take our group back and wait for further instructions, and notify me of any new orders."

"Sir?"

"I will remain here."

The messenger gazed at him curiously for a moment, then disappeared.

As Nodt moved forward along the forest trail, pausing where the stallion had been standing. He breathed in the reiatsu around him and caught the vague, lingering scent of sakura.

_Interesting._

_I don't recall feeling this way when we faced each other before. He was just a shinigami, someone I made to fear me, stole his bankai and destroyed. _

_But Kuchiki Byakuya refused to die._

_And looking into his eyes right now was strange. There was fear, yes, but there was also still great courage. Fascinating. I humiliated him completely and left my reiatsu within him to torment him. I only did not employ the full usefulness of that because I thought that he was dead. But, knowing that he lives, that reiatsu can be more useful still._

_His majesty's order is to kill the clan leaders. And certainly, I will kill those who cross my path._

_But not him._

_I defeated him._

_His fate belongs to me._


	11. The Blossoming

**Chapter 11: The Blossoming**

**(Thanks to unsigned readers DMK (Renji will be there soon now! Just watch that redhead come and give Bya a good talking to!), Dancing (Not to worry, Renji won't let our Bya sell himself short. That cute redhead is going to give Bya a surprise he won't forget!) and Spunkylover (Ooh, just wait and see!))**

"You sent for me?" Tetsuya asked, observing Byakuya's reflection in the full length mirror where the clan leader stood, trying to ignore the pain in his back and legs as Torio dressed him.

"Yes," Byakuya answered, meeting his cousin's wide blue eyes in the mirror, "There is something that I have to ask you. It is very important. And Tetsuya, I want you to answer me honestly."

Tetsuya frowned and tilted his head slightly in askance.

Byakuya felt an odd flutter in his stomach and paused for a moment, looking down at his bared belly, then brushing his fingers lightly over the area.

"Is something wrong, Byakuya-sama?" Tetsuya asked curiously, "You seem very distracted. Are you feeling all right?"

"I will be fine," the clan leader assured him, "But I must share with you something that has happened...something that I've done."

"Something you've done?"

"Yes," Byakuya said, more softly, "You see, when I was in the healing center, my injuries caused disturbances in my inner world."

"I can imagine," said the blue-eyed noble, "Being as badly hurt as you were, it's hardly surprising."

"During the time that I was there, for some reason, Renji was able to enter that place. He first helped to stabilize me so that I could begin to heal. And then, he returned and...Tetsuya, he witnessed me practicing Ai no Izou."

"Ah!" exclaimed Tetsuya, "That's why he asked me about it. I thought that it must be something like that."

"Yes," Byakuya said, a smile finally reaching his lips, "Tetsuya, Renji was able to harmonize perfectly with me. Meaning..."

"That you found the soul that completes yours!" Tetsuya finished, his dark blue eyes lighting with happiness.

His eyes moved to where Byakuya's hand still rubbed absently at his abdomen, then widened in understanding.

"Byakuya-sama!" he gasped softly, "You made a child with him?"

"Yes, just before the alert. Which means that..."

He trailed off, his eyelids fluttering and his legs weakening. Tetsuya and Torio moved quickly to help him back to the bed. Byakuya breathed slowly, but dizziness continued to sweep over him in waves. Torio disappeared out the door and Tetsuya sat down on the bed and placed his hands over Byakuya's midsection, infusing the area with his reiatsu. Even though his eyes remained tinged with worry, he couldn't help but smile.

"Byakuya-sama! This is..."

"The blossoming," Byakuya finished, his eyes intense.

Torio retuned a moment later with an elder clan healer, who quickly examined Byakuya, then continued the infusion of stabilizing reiatsu that Tetsuya had begun.

"You have found your true resonant, Byakuya-sama," the healer said, smiling, "Congratulations, the heir has been conceived."

"Wh-what?" cried Torio, blinking in confusion, "He said that he and...they only just...!"

"Oh," chuckled the old healer, "Not to worry, Torio-san. His dizziness and fatigue are quite normal for this."

"Ah," said the still nervous looking attendant, "I mean, I know that us noble males can get pregnant with our true resonant, our soul mate, but I didn't know that it would make one have symptoms so soon!"

"Well," explained the healer, "You have to realize that noble male pregnancy differs from human and even female shinigami pregnancy. Human males cannot be impregnated, as you know, but when a noble male encounters his true resonant, or soul mate, he or the soul mate can become pregnant. Upon the entry of semen and reiatsu into the body of the shinigami male, the connection of souls causes a rather sudden development of a soul chamber that captures those elements and combines them to form a reiatsu cluster. This tiny, new soul remains inside the chamber and is slowly stabilized and matured. Because the male body is forced into a sudden change, the onset of symptoms is faster and more pronounced at first. But, you will be happy to know that after that, symptoms are generally milder and the duration of gestation is generally shorter than that of a woman."

He looked down at Byakuya's widened eyes and curious expression and continued on, still smiling warmly.

"You will continue to feel some fatigue and nausea from time to time and your powers will have some fluctuation or disturbances. And your abdomen will round a bit, though it will not get as big as a female's because the child will remain in reiatsu form. In about six or seven months, the reiatsu will be fully matured, then the area over the chamber will lose some cohesion, allowing the reiatsu to emerge through the abdominal wall and be born. It will then take on its child form, once it has left your body."

"Kami!" sighed Torio, looking relieved, "I didn't know it was so different. I'd only ever heard of it and never actually saw it happen."

"Well, it is quite rare for a male noble to resonate perfectly with another male. But, it does happen once in a while. Do not be anxious, Torio-san. Byakuya-sama will be fine."

"But he was so badly injured!" objected the attendant.

"It is all right," the healer assured him, "Byakuya-sama is healing well from his injuries and the pregnancy looks to be progressing normally."

He nodded at the clan leader.

"You will need to eat heartier meals to maintain the heir's reiatsu. Get plenty of rest and gentle exercise. Other than that, you may proceed with most normal activities. Just no combat. And during training, avoid contact to the abdominal area to avoid disrupting the reiatsu chamber."

"Very well," Byakuya said, looking quietly down at his abdomen as the healer lifted his hands away and prepared to leave.

"I will report the heir's conception to the council," he informed Byakuya, "I am sure that they will be very pleased with the news."

Torio watched the healer leave, then turned back to Byakuya.

"I will go and get you something to eat right away!" he said excitedly.

"But Torio, I am not...ah well."

"He is overjoyed," Tetsuya said, smiling, "and finding one's soul mate is truly a cause for celebration. It also removes the stigma usually associated with the binding of noble and common blood. Renji-san will be very pleased when he hears, no?"

"Ah," Byakuya sighed, still gazing down at his slim belly, "about that. Tetsuya, that is why I called for you."

"Oh?"

"You see, when I explained Ai no Izou to Renji, I was...somewhat vague in my description."

Tetsuya frowned, then drew a soft, surprised breath.

"You didn't tell him about the child?" he asked curiously, "Byakuya-sama, why? Do you want me to tell him for you now?"

"N-no," Byakuya said, shaking his head gently.

"What? Byakuya-sama..."

"I do not want Renji to know about this."

Tetsuya froze, staring at him.

Byakuya glanced at his reflection in a small mirror on a nearby desk, then looked back at his cousin.

"This is difficult to admit," he went on, "and perhaps you won't understand, but I do not want Renji burdened."

"Burdened?" Tetsuya repeated, looking confused, "Byakuya-sama, Renji-san _loves_ you! It is obvious that he does. He would be overjoyed to know that you were going to have his child. I know he would! Why won't you tell him?"

Byakuya lowered his eyes and let out a soft, wounded breath.

"Tetsuya, Renji is a powerful young shinigami with a very bright future. They will make him a taichou now. Now that I will not be able to return to the sixth division."

"But I spoke to Unohana taichou," Tetsuya objected, "And she said that although originally, she hadn't thought you would regain consciousness, your progress so far has been astounding! She said that it is conceivable that you could regain your full powers. That is, once we find the way to regain your bankai. Why do you still question that you will get well?"

Byakuya remained silent and Tetsuya observed him quietly for a moment.

"It isn't about you not getting well, is it?" Tetsuya asked pointedly.

Byakuya sighed and kept his eyes lowered.

"Cousin," he said quietly, "You have to understand, it was the responsibility of all shinigamis to go out and meet the enemy in battle, to protect and defend Soul Society and all of the ones here. And above and beyond that, I had an obligation to protect my subordinates, and those I love. Many of my subordinates were killed or badly injured. You. Rukia. Renji. All of you were left unprotected by me when I was defeated. And I was not simply defeated. I was humiliated by that quincy. Even now, the memory of that failure eats away at me. It is with me when I wake and even when I try to sleep. He returns to haunt my dreams. And it shames me to say that even though I long to face him, to repay him for that damage that he caused, the truth is that I cannot bring back the ones who died or make amends for those who were left unprotected because of my failure. Do you understand? There are some failures that guide one to greater knowledge and growth, but there are some defeats that are more telling."

"You are too hard on yourself," Tetsuya chided him worriedly, "Byakuya-sama, none of the rest of us did any better! We were able to escape the quincys, but we could not defeat them any more than you could!"

"But it was not your duty to defend everyone. The things that were prescribed to you, you did, Tetsuya. I was the one who..."

"But what about the other taichous who lost their bankai?" Tetsuya argued, "Should they too-?"

"They were not defeated," Byakuya said quietly, "They did not win, but neither did they fall to their enemies."

"But which one of us has not failed from time to time? Byakuya-sama, you must not think this way! There are still a lot of people who believe in you and are counting on you! You have no idea the hope it brought to our clan when you returned here. You cannot take that away."

"I will not," Byakuya assured him, "I will remain with the clan and will be sure that they have strong leadership."

"Ah, that is a relief," sighed his blue-eyed cousin.

"But, that being said, there needs to be strength at the head of the clan, and you are the only one I know of who would be able to provide what is needed."

"I don't understand," Tetsuya said, frowning, "What are you asking of me?"

Byakuya met his eyes squarely.

"I want you to marry me."

Tetsuya's eyes went wide and his mouth opened, but no words would come.

"I know that you are seeing your attendant, Koji, and as long as the two of you are discreet, I will not ask you to give each other up, Tetsuya."

"B-but why?" Tetsuya asked in a bewildered tone, "Byakuya-sama, Renji-san is your soul mate. I know that the two of you love each other! The clan will accept him because of the..."

"I cannot marry someone like Renji," Byakuya said softly, "Not after what I've done. I am sorry. I do not mean to cause trouble for you and Koji. You do not have to sleep with me, Tetsuya. I only want you to marry me so that I can have rights granted to you to act as our child's guardian and acting leader until the child is of age. Our child will need someone to look up to."

"He will look up to you and Renji-san!" Tetsuya said firmly, "Byakuya-sama, you have the right to demand of me what you will, but you asked me to answer honestly. I think that what you are doing is wrong! You must tell Renji-san about this. You must at least give him the chance to accept or refuse of his own free will!"

"You know that he would feel obligated because of the child," Byakuya said, closing his eyes against the words, "He would then be forced to be with an invalid and raising a child I never even warned him was a possibility. Tetsuya, it would be selfish for me to make demands on him like that. You are a clan member and know what it means to make sacrifices for the sake of the clan. And you will still be able to be with your lover."

"That's not my concern and you know it!" exclaimed Tetsuya, his blue eyes flashing with unusual passion, "Byakuya-sama, you cannot do this!"

"The last time I checked, _I_ was this clan's leader," Byakuya said calmly, "I will take your objections under advisement. And I will inform the elders that you and I will wed tomorrow when the pregnancy is officially announced in council."

He looked into Tetsuya's stunned eyes warningly.

"And you are not to leave the compound before our wedding," the clan leader continued, "I know that you have my best interests at heart, Cousin. But where they clash with the needs of our clan, I must insist that we do things my way, even though I know it will be painful to Renji, to me and to you and Koji. Still, it is necessary."

Tetsuya went silent and nearly rigid, tears held just beneath the surface. Byakuya studied his tensed form for a moment, then went on.

"Leave me now. I am weary from the journey here. I think that you were right that I left the healing center too soon. Tell Torio that I am not to be disturbed until the dinner hour."

Byakuya closed his eyes, dismissing his cousin and leaving Tetsuya still staring at him and barely restraining his emotions.

_This is wrong._

_I cannot let him do this. But he has expressly forbade me to leave!_

Sensing that argument would be useless, he left the room and almost ran into Torio, who had returned with the noble's snack tray.

"Tetsuya-san, are you all right?" the attendant asked, "Did something happen? Is Byakuya-sama all right?"

"He is all right," Tetsuya said, lowering his eyes, "but he has asked me to marry him."

"What? But he is Abarai Renji's soul mate! And you and my brother are...!"

"He says that he is undeserving of Renji-san, and that he won't keep me and Koji from seeing each other, but that he wants me made interim leader and the child's guardian so that he can step down!"

"But he can't do that!" exclaimed Torio, "You have to tell Renji-san right away!"

"I can't," Tetsuya said defeatedly, "He has set the wedding for tomorrow and he has forbidden me to leave the compound!"

Torio looked crestfallen, but a moment later, suddenly brightened.

"He said that _you_ cannot leave. He did not say anything about anyone else, ne?"

"But you are his attendant," Tetsuya objected, "Although, he did excuse you until dinner. But, it's impossible, Torio-san. It is too dangerous for you to go...and on foot."

He thought for a moment, then looked up to find the other young man smiling at him.

"_Arashi_!" they said together.

"You will have to go now and hurry back," whispered Tetsuya, "Koji and I will distract him if he misses you. We will say that you are not well. Stay with Arashi and come back quickly."

"I will," promised Torio, "You can count on me, Tetsuya-san. I will find Abarai Renji and I will bring him back in time to stop your wedding!"

"Go now," Tetsuya said breathlessly, "Koji and I will cover for you until you return. But please, do not leave Arashi's presence. I would never forgive myself if you were hurt!"

"Don't worry, Tetsuya-san. I will be fine. I must go now."

He handed Tetsuya the tray and smiled.

"Go and distract him, now. I will take care of this."

"Arigatou, Torio-san," Tetsuya said, looking relieved.

He waited until the young man had left, then took a steadying breath and stepped back into Byakuya's room.

"Why are you here?" Byakuya asked in an annoyed tone, "I told you that I was not to be disturbed."

"My apologies," Tetsuya said, an edge of iciness in his voice, "but as your fiance and future acting leader, I will not allow you to compromise your health. The healer said that you need to take care of yourself, and I am going to see to that order personally."

"You may just call for Torio. You are not my servant, Tetsuya."

"No," agreed his blue-eyed cousin, "But I am to be your spouse. And I will take care of you as a future spouse should."

Byakuya sighed.

"As you will, then."

Tetsuya walked to the bed and set the tray in Byakuya's lap, then lingered, watching him eat.

"You do not need to hover, Tetsuya. You may go."

"I am not hovering," Tetsuya said evenly.

"No?"

"I am waiting for you to finish. And then, I am taking you for a walk as the healer ordered."

"I told you, I am weary."

"Then you will rest after we take a short walk," Tetsuya said stiffly.

"Ah, I see. You are angry with me," noted Byakuya, looking amused, "In fact, I do not recall ever seeing you quite so furious. But as charming as your devotion to my recovery is, you needn't do this."

Tetsuya moved forward and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I understand," he said quietly, "And I understand that you have given up on yourself. Still, despite that, _I_ will not give up on you. I am going to bring you to your senses, Byakuya-sama, whatever means I must use!"


	12. Unholy Matrimony

**Chapter 12: Unholy Matrimony**

**(Augh, got called in to work, so haven't finished thanking everyone who reviewed. Thanks so much to all of you. I will get through that pile of lovely reviews as soon as I escape from work. Love you all! :) Enjoy the new chapter!)**

"Where the hell could they be?" Renji muttered, examining the area around him and trying to sense Byakuya's reiatsu, "I'm glad that they're not making it easy for the enemy to find them, but it kinda makes it hard for me."

He stood, panting softly and closing his eyes to hone in on the noble's general direction.

_I've gotten so used to being able to sense him that it's really weird that I can't right now. But then, he's still recovering. His reiatsu is way lower than normal. That would make it..._

Renji's mind froze as a dark blur burst out of the trees in front of him and slid to a stop. A moment later, he recognized Tetsuya's spirit steed, Arashi, being ridden by Byakuya's younger cousin and attendant, Kuchiki Torio. Arashi squealed and reared.

"Whoa, hey, take it easy!" Renji exclaimed, "I'm not an enemy, okay? It's me...Renji!"

"A-abarai-san!" cried the young man on the horse's back, "I have been looking everywhere for you!"

He brushed away several raven black strands of hair that had tumbled down over his widened, brown eyes and slid down off of Arashi's sleek back.

"Well," answered Renji, looking relieved at having found someone to lead him to the noble, "I was looking for you guys too after Kuchiki taichou disappeared with Tetsuya. I've been worried about him. But, what's going on? Why are you out here with ol' Fleabag? Where's Tetsuya-san?"

"Tetsuya-san is back at the hideout."

"Is he all right? Were he and Taichou hurt reaching the hideout?" Renji asked quickly.

"Oh! No, Abarai-san," Torio said, catching his breath, "It's just that Byakuya-sama has ordered Tetsuya-san to marry him!"

"What?" Renji asked, blinking, "He...he's going to marry Tetsuya-san? Really? And Tetsuya-san wants to go along with it? I didn't know they were even in love...or engaged. I thought that..."

"I said that he _ordered_ Tetsuya-san to marry him. Tetsuya-san is seeing my brother, and he is, as you can imagine, devastated," reported Torio, "He is determined to talk Byakuya-sama out of the wedding. He would have come for you himself, but Byakuya-sama would not allow him to leave the hideout. I came with Arashi instead. But we were forced several times to conceal ourselves from enemies in the area. As a result, it took until now to find you. We must go quickly! Byakuya-sama will have missed me by now. And the wedding will be starting soon."

"All right then," Renji said, pulling himself up onto Arashi's back, behind Byakuya's attendant, "Let's get back there!"

Arashi loosed a pealing whinny and charged forward, almost unseating the two men on his back.

"What the hell are you doing, Fleabag?" Renji objected, "You're not dragging your usual master around. I don't know about Torio-san, here, but I'm not used to riding a half-wit beast like you, so go easy!"

Arashi snorted and launched himself forward even faster, making Renji growl in annoyance and hold on tightly to Torio, who laughed softly. The redhead's heart pounded at the speed at which they wound through the trees, but the black stallion's body remained calm and poised as he raced along at a speed that would have put the living world horses to shame. As they thundered on, Renji began to relax somewhat, and he used the time while they were riding to monitor the area around them for enemies. At first, he sensed nothing. Then, only intermittent registers of transient power. But just as he was leaning forward to ask Torio how much further the hideout was, the attendant suddenly stiffened. And a moment later, the redhead felt a heavy jolt of dread.

"Shit," he muttered, "Torio-san, tell me that the hideout isn't near the spiritual pressure I'm sensing!"

But he needn't have asked. Torio's eyes rounded and his skin paled, leaving him looking ghostly and eerily haunted.

"Renji-san!" he whispered, tears coming to his eyes, "_They_ have found the hideout!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Don't worry, Tetsuya-san," said Koji, stealing a kiss as he fastened the tie at the waist of the elegant blue and silver formal kimono his lover wore, "Torio will bring Renji-san in time. You won't have to marry Byakuya-sama."

Tetsuya bit his lip gently, his sapphire eyes reflecting deep frustration.

"It is almost time for the wedding to begin," he said, trying to keep his hands from shaking, "And...what if something happened to Torio-san? What if he ran into the ones searching for us? What if he couldn't find Renji-san? What if Renji-san was angry and decided not to come and stop the wedding?"

"That isn't going to happen!" Koji insisted, "Renji-san is Byakuya-sama's soul mate. And you told me how much Renji-san did to help Byakuya-sama..."

"But Renji-san is not noble and may not understand what his connection to Byakuya-sama actually means. And he will be offended at my cousin becoming his lover, then leaving and marrying someone else. Our ways are different, Koji-san. And my cousin is not just being stubborn. He seems bent on escaping his fate."

Tetsuya sighed resignedly and sought the comfort of Koji's arms.

"Byakuya-sama has never become so despondent like this," he said anxiously, "I am worried for him, Koji-san. It is not just that he seeks this marriage. We have always understood that as a powerful member of the family, I could be required to enter an arranged marriage. I did not really expect it to happen, though."

"Me either," admitted Koji, "And it is even more strange that it is Byakuya-sama himself seeking your hand. But even if the worst happens, he did say that he is not going to require you to lie with him, or to stop seeing me privately. There is an heir already."

"I know," Tetsuya said miserably, "and I am grateful for those things. Still, this is so wrong, Koji-san. Byakuya-sama cannot deny his fate like this. He is making a terrible mistake and I don't know what to do to help him."

Koji smiled and sought Tetsuya's lips warmly.

"You are doing all you can," he said bracingly.

He stepped back and gazed at his handsomely dressed lover, smiling despite his worries.

"You are beautiful, Tetsuya-san," he said gently, "You take my breath away, looking like this. Only smile and I will be completely conquered."

Tetsuya embraced him tightly and smiled helplessly into his lover's shoulder.

"Thank you, Koji-san," he whispered.

"Ah," the attendant whispered back, letting his breath tickle Tetsuya's ear teasingly, "I take it back. I am already conquered. Will you slay me now?"

"Koji, mind your tongue!" Tetsuya said, lifting his head off of his attendant's shoulder and glaring at him softly, "The things you say sometimes. And especially moments before my wedding to our leader. It borders upon scandalous."

"I'll show you scandalous," chuckled Koji, nipping at his lips.

"Koji...Koji, stop! This is...!"

"Tetsuya."

The lovers froze. Then, Koji swiftly extracted himself from Tetsuya's arms and disappeared out the door. Tetsuya remained with his back to the clan leader, his body stiffening rebelliously.

"Byakuya-sama."

He listened to his cousin's footsteps as Byakuya approached him, then turned him so they were facing each other.

"I am unsurprised that you are still angry with me," Byakuya said quietly, "I admit that there is nothing 'fair' about what I ask of you. I know that this is difficult, but it is really for the best. Renji does not belong tied down to someone like me. Letting him go is the right thing to do."

Tetsuya let out a tremulous breath.

"And damned be the cost to anyone else," he said with unusual sarcasm, "I imagine you must really love him, watashi no itoko...to destroy three lives just to put him aside. He should be _flattered_."

"Come," Byakuya said, ignoring the scathing words and slipping a hand into Tetsuya's, "It is time for the ceremony to begin."

Tetsuya moved with him as far as the door, but then shook his head and came to a stop. Byakuya paused and looked at him silently, waiting for him to speak.

"Byakuya-sama, please do not do this," he said with surprising composure, "And I do not just object because of what it means for me. You waited a lifetime for Renji-san to come into your life. How can you just walk away from that? You love him, don't you? How can you do this to him? To yourself? It is wrong and you know it!"

Byakuya continued to look back at him quietly and raised a hand to touch his face lightly. Tetsuya returned his gaze with one more sorrowful, his blue eyes finally tearing at the inevitability of what was happening.

"Thank you," Byakuya said softly, leaning forward to kiss him on the cheek, "I know that this is not easy for you. And be assured, it is difficult for me as well. But...we will do as we must, Tetsuya. I apologize that you must stand with me, and not the person you love. And that, because of the war going on, we will only be married in the presence of the council, and will have no celebration."

"That is not what concerns me, and you know it."

"Yes," said the clan leader, squeezing his hand, "You have made that abundantly clear. But there is no sense in holding this off any longer. It is best if we see to it quickly and do not agonize over it anymore. There are more important things to focus on."

Tetsuya felt a disbelieving haze settle over him as Byakuya led him out of the room and down the echoing rock hallways of the compound. He remained silent as Koji fell in behind them, following them to the gathering room, where the council waited. They took their places at the front of the room, in front of the solemn looking head elder and waited until all had gathered and Nori nodded to acknowledge them. Tetsuya's head bowed and his eyes closed as the ceremony began.

_Please, Renji-san, hurry!_

"We are gathered today to bind into marriage, Kuchiki Byakuya and Kuchiki Tetsuya. Does the couple to be wed agree that they seek this marriage of their own free will and without reservation?"

"I do," said Byakuya.

Tetsuya swallowed hard and forced out the words.

"I do."

"And are there any among the gathered who know of any reason that this couple should not be wed. Speak now or forever..."

_Master!_ Arashi cried out in Tetsuya's mind, _Master, they have found you! They are coming! Sound the alarm!_

"STOP!" cried Tetsuya, his eyes rounding.

"Tetsuya," Byakuya began.

"It's not that!" the blue-eyed noble said quickly, "We are about to be attacked! Sound the warning!"

As if to punctuate the words, a rumble went through the rocky cavern, unsettling rock around them and setting off the alarms within the compound. The men in the room stiffened, and looked around with haunted eyes, then bloke for the door, calling thier weapons to hand.

"Stay with the defenders of the pathway, Tetsuya!" Byakuya called out, "Get everyone to the escape tunnel and remain with them."

"But Cousin!"

"You are the interim leader if I should fall. Go, Tetsuya!"

He disappeared in a flash step before his cousin could object further. Tetsuya met Koji's eyes for a moment.

"I have to go after him," he said quietly.

"I know," said Koji, "And I am coming too. Lead on, Tetsuya-san."

The two charged out of the gathering room and flash stepped through the corrider, avoiding the women and children being led to the evacuation preparation site. They left the concealed cave, feeling a chill of warning as they came out into daylight and the crashing sounds of battle. Tetsuya spotted Byakuya alongside two members of council, attacking the main invading force with shikai releases and powerful bursts of kido.

"These are foot soldiers," Tetsuya noted, summoning his own weapon, "but I sense at least one or two more powerful quincys. Our intelligence suggests we lure them into attacking and then strike. They are said to have a defense that makes them much stronger against our blades when they are defending, but they must lower their defenses to initiate an attack. Conceal yourselves and watch carefully. Only attack if one of them attacks Byakuya-sama or me."

"Hai!" Koji said, summoning his weapon and flash stepping away.

Tetsuya moved forward and concealed himself near Byakuya, watching closely as the clan leader sent his shikai out to slash at the invading enemies. And even still reduced in power from his injury, he held back the foot soldiers readily. The council members added their attacks and brought the enemy to a stop, well short of the compound.

_Maybe it will be all right._

_Maybe..._

Tetsuya froze as a dark, formidable presence loomed up behind the stymied intruders. An icy chill flooded his body as he spotted the quincy he remembered being reported as the one who had nearly killed Byakuya. The battleground went eerily quiet as the foot soldiers ceased attacking and waited as their leader stepped through their parting ranks and faced Byakuya and the two defending members of council.

"We meet again, Kuchiki Byakuya," As Nodt said solemnly, "I will make you this one overture. Surrender yourself to me and I will let everyone here flee. No one else needs to die. Just give yourself up."

Byakuya gazed back at him disdainfully.

"I would never give myself willingly to the likes of you, nor trust that doing so would lead you to any act of mercy towards the ones I protect. You are a vile, heartless bastard, come here to tear the heart out of our clan. But be warned, you will have to slaughter every one of us to break us. His majesty has chosen us to defend his interests here in the Seireitei, and we will do that...to the ends of our lives, if necessary."

Tetsuya edged forward, moving into position to attack as As Nodt nodded briefly and smiled at Byakuya.

"As expected," he said quietly, "But don't worry. It won't take me long to destroy the rest of these people. Then, you will know a fear a hundred times worse than what I made you feel before. But first...why don't I just get these chaff out of the way!"

He raised a hand that held the medallion that had captured Byakuya's bankai, and the sky darkened into a deadly pink around him.

"This is your last chance, Kuchiki Byakuya," As Nodt said darkly, "Surrender or watch your entire clan be annihilated using your own power!"

"You think," Byakuya said coldly, "that it is intelligent to use a technique that my clan has intricate knowledge of and can defend against?" he asked icily, "You are a fool."

"And _you_ are bluffing, noble!" hissed As Nodt, "You are about to pay for your belligerence!"

Tetsuya tensed, watching carefully as a sea of pink petals rose up around the quincy and shot towards the noble defenders and clan leader. Sensing an opening, Tetsuya set several waterforms, then made his body nearly transparent. He shot towards As Nodt as the petals closed in on Byakuya and the others, angling around and entering Senbonzakura's 'safe zone.' His body registered the heavy shock of impact and he slashed at the quincy, making him grunt in surprise and stagger back, firing his golden thorns at the unseen fighter that had cut him. Blood exploded around the two, and As Nodt reached out and grabbed the revealed shinigami by the throat. Tetsuya tried to shift to one of his escape waterforms, but realized suddenly that when his attack had landed, the petal blades that the quincy had been using, had spiralled out of control, injuring numerous fighters on both sides and destroying the forms he had intended to use. He struggled against the quincy's viselike grip as As Nodt's fingers tightened.

"You are the real power behind the clan now, aren't you?" the quincy asked coldly, "Don't bother straining to answer. I already sense that you are. Before you die, noble, I want you to know what is going to happen to your clan. You have been pierced by my thorns. Let me show you my power. And witness now the full fury I am about to visit upon every man, woman and child in this place!"

Tetsuya's eyes widened in shock as images of the carnage danced relentlessly before him. Everything else around the two disappeared as the full force of As Nodt's power descended on Tetsuya's mind. The quincy released him and watched as Tetsuya screamed in horror and dropped onto his knees, unable to move. As Nodt met Byakuya's tormented eyes and smiled. Above him, the sky darkened with a storm of petal blades.

"Say goodbye to him, Kuchiki Byakuya. Your own power is about to destroy him and everyone else here!"

On the ground at As Nodt's feet, Tetsuya clenched at the ground, blood running down his breached body and his breath coming in gasps as the petal blades spun above him, then started to fall.

Tetsuya's stunned eyes found Byakuya's a moment before the petals came down.

_I am sorry, Byakuya-sama._

_I have failed you._

_Please forgive me._

He closed his eyes against what was happening, waiting for the end to come. And strangely, he felt nothing more strike him, but only the earthshaking rumble of an attack hitting home as everything went blindingly white and silent all around him.


	13. It All Comes Down

**Chapter 13: It All Comes Down**

**(Thanks so much for all of the lovely Christmas and 'get well' wishes. I was well enough to go to my mom's for Christmas and we had a great time. It was good to relax and enjoy the holidays together without thinking too much about our worries. We have each other right now, and we are not wasting a moment! Thanks so everyone who has been reading and reviewing, including Mina Kye (This is a high adrenaline chapter. Be prepared!), Moegi (Aww, thanks! Byakuya's doing some real growing inside, and he and Renji will be able to hash things out now.), Firebirdever (Bya is terrified inside, but he is strong deep down and will work his way through it, especially when a certain redhead reaches out for him!), Tomyallen (Thanks a million! lol Editing is easier now that I found my glasses!), Enzy-chan (*hugs*), Renji-Bya-lover (What are you, psychic? lol You are good at seeing ahead. There is a lot for Bya and Renji to deal with before they are ready to take on As Nodt, but they will get a start on that soon!), Rmegmr (Okay, this chapter? REALLY on the edge of your seat!), Gunmetal silvr(Okay, here's more for you! But I assure you, you will only want more after that, so I'll keep working!), Alabirdie (Ooh, don't fall off the edge of your seat! And enjoy, this will be heart-pounding...), Chakragoddess (More is delivered!), Anelir-sensei (More is here!), DMK (They'd better be careful! Someone's up to no good!), Ctofi1 (Aww, thanks! You're sweet!), Afrieal (Thanks so much! Here's more to enjoy!), Dancing (Better watch out what you wish for...lol! *creepy music* As Nodt's closer than you think!), Sonna214 (Yeah, Bya needs a good smack in the head and a long, deep kiss afterwards. Renji can do that!), Manga-FanFic Fan (Aww, that sounds like what Renjui would do! I'm sure he'll set Bya straight.), and Callmesenseikuchiki (I think Renji will be...RENJI! Direct, a little brutal, but very sweet!). Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and that your New Year will be warm and happy! Cheers!)**

Tetsuya felt the soft sting of Senbonzakura's blade petals as a flurry of them brushed against his downed body. But there seemed little force behind the ones that reached him, as though something had absorbed a large amount of the impact. The light was still too blinding for him to see exactly what had happened, but even as the brightness around him began to fade, he felt a heartbreakingly familiar presence just in front of him and felt his heart shatter inside him.

The light dimmed and the haze above Tetsuya began to dissipate. He was left looking up at the back of a battered and shaking fighter, whose bloodied hand clenched the hilt of a crumbling sword. In the distance, As Nodt stood back, his own body showing signs of damage from Senbonzakura's petals and his face twisted in fury as he glared at the young man who had gotten in his way and, surprisingly, caused some of the blade petals to turn back on him.

"You!" he hissed, "What did you do?"

"Omoteware," the person standing in front of Tetsuya said in a shaking voice, "When struck by an enemy's attack, it raises a shield that shatters and reflects the enemy's attack back at him. It is...a shikai, and so could not stop a bankai. But...it was enough to protect Tetsuya-san, and to cut you while you were attacking!"

_Koji! _Tetsuya's stricken mind screamed.

He scrambled forward, warm splashes of wetness falling onto his skin as Koji's blade broke apart into pieces and blood exploded from his collapsing body. Koji fell into Tetsuya's arms, panting harshly and gazing up at his lover through apologetic eyes.

"S-sorry, Tet-suya-san," he gasped, blood leaking from his mouth.

"Koji..."

Tetsuya heard As Nodt take a step towards him and was vaguely aware of Byakuya's flash step sounding somewhere close by.

"The only thing more terrifying than seeing your fears in your mind's eye," the quincy said in a maddeningly calm voice, "is seeing them play out in front of you. Isn't that true, shinigami?"

Tetsuya's hands clenched involuntarily, rage engulfing his slender body and making the pain and feeling of weakness disappear. His mouth opened in a furious scream, as he lost all ability to hold himself back.

"BANKAI!"

"Tetsuya, don't!" cried Byakuya, appearing in front of his enraged cousin and slashing at the quincy.

"Koori no bakuha, Reku-hime!"

"TETSUYA!"

Power exploded around Tetsuya's body as he laid Koji down and surged forward, raising his blade and calling forth the full fury of his power. As Nodt laughed and flash stepped clear of Byakuya, then held up another medallion as a heavy swirl of ice blades erupted from Tetsuya's weapon.

"Little fool," As Nodt chided him, "You should have listened to your leader."

Tetsuya gave a cry of anguish as the rising ice blades exploded around him and fell to the ground like snow. Not hesitating, Tetsuya blazed forward heedlessly, reaching the quincy and nearly impaling him. As Nodt hissed angrily as the tip of Tetsuya's sword cut into his hand.

"Insolent brat!" he snarled, evading Byakuya as he moved forward again and slashed at him.

He grabbed the end of Tetsuya's sword and held it tightly, calling the young man's own bankai and loosing it down on him.

To both their surprise, nothing happened.

"Impossible!" As Nodt mused, "I stole it! I saw your power die and enter the medallion!"

Tetsuya glared into his eyes rebelliously.

"I don't know what happened, but it doesn't matter! I am going to make you pay for hurting Koji and Byakuya!"

As Nodt's eyes widened.

"_Nawaka shima_!"

The quincy felt an odd numbness begin inside his hand, where the sword had penetrated. He watched in surprise as his hand began to freeze from the inside, then roared in fury and loosed a barrage of his golden thorns. Tetsuya screamed in pain as the thorns ripped through him, sending him into a punishing tumbling roll away from the quincy. Tetsuya came to rest at Koji's side again, screaming blindly as As Nodt's power raked his mind mercilessly.

"T-tetsuya..." moaned Koji, reaching out a shaking hand.

As Nodt moved towards the two, pausing a short distance as Byakuya's flash step sounded and he placed himself between the quincy and his fallen cousins. Behind him, Tetsuya went silent and his body went ominously still.

"Ah," As Nodt said casually, "It seems he lost consciousness. But perhaps it is better for him this way. Much more and I think he would have lost his mind and died. Though, I am sure his mind will be in a horrid state, if and when he wakes. But you remember what that is like, ne?"

"Bastard!" Byakuya hissed, "I won't let you hurt them anymore! I don't give a _damn _what you do to me, you are not harming my family and friends again!"

"Such empty threats from an even emptier soul, Byakuya," the quincy said solemnly, "You know, you needn't have allowed these two to be so viciously cut down. Their lives are on your conscience. I _told _you that I would allow all of them to leave safely if you but gave yourself up to me. Now, look at all of the damage your foolish actions have caused."

"What do you want with me? You tried to kill me before, but you merely toy with me now. We both know you could have killed me and gone. Why are you doing this?"

Byakuya caught his breath in surprise and pain as one of As Nodt's golden thorns suddenly pierced his shoulder. The noble staggered back, nearly falling over Tetsuya and Koji, and holding his bleeding shoulder. He felt the heavy throb of As Nodt's power, but surprisingly felt nothing but numbness inside. As Nodt stared at him with a rapt expression.

"I cut you to pieces before, Kuchiki Byakuya. I humiliated you and I thought I had destroyed you, but still you lived. And I come face to face with you, and I find that even though you should be terrified of me after what I did, you feel nothing inside. It makes me curious. Are you really so fearless? Or is it that after tearing you apart, all that is left is the pretty shell of the man you were?"

"Get out of here!" Byakuya cried, slashing at the quincy, then watching as he disappeared and reappeared a short distance away.

"You should be screaming in fear," As Nodt mused, "My power floods your body, but nothing reaches you. How extraordinary. I want to know why this is, Byakuya. But...since you will not listen to reason, I will have to slaughter all of these people and drag you off by force! You are going to be extremely sorry that you did not accept my offer in the beginning. Everyone you care about is going to die. _Everyone_! Can you still be so aloof?"

Byakuya loosed a snarl of fury and attacked, flash stepping furiously and staying as close to the quincy as he could.

_He can't use my bankai as long as I am close to him, and his power is not working on me, for some reason. I need an opening. But for him to stop using his blut protectively, I have to draw him into attacking. But he isn't trying to attack me anymore. He is attacking them to provoke me. How do I...?_

"I am not going to play any more games with you, Byakuya," As Nodt said coldly, raising the hand that held the medallion, "Continue to chase me if you want, but their time is up. They are all going to die."

He nodded to the foot soldiers.

"Kill them all...every man, woman and child."

Byakuya surged forward, slashing uselessly at the quincy as the foot soldiers advanced.

"Fool!" the noble mocked him, "My family and friends are not going to just let themselves be killed! You forget who we are."

As Nodt made a sound of anger as shinigami power rose up and clashed with the advancing foot soldiers. The hand that held the medallion moved, and Byakuya attacked, forcing the quincy to halt his own attack and evade the noble's sword. The two exchanged several blows as the other clan members engaged the foot soldiers and slowly forced them back.

"What's wrong?" Byakuya asked quietly, "I thought that you ordered them to annihilate us. It seems that the ones you charged with that task are not up to it. Perhaps you could do it, but it seems that you cannot free yourself from me to take aim. Is it so important to you now to capture me, that you would forgo finishing me off and risk letting the others escape?"

As Nodt's eyes blazed as he watched kido fire and zanpakutou releases pound the foot soldiers.

"Damn you, you insolent worm!" he snarled, raising the medallion and backing away.

He spotted a shaking, sobbing Koji trying to pull Tetsuya out of harm's way and sent a sea of petals at the two. Byakuya flash stepped wildly, throwing himself in front of them and raising a kido shield.

"This won't be enough to kill you," As Nodt threatened, "but it will surely finish the two you are protecting!"

_Damn it! He is right!_

Byakuya stared in silence, bracing himself as the petal blades closed in. But just as it seemed they would reach him, a flash of white rose up in front of them. Koji gave a sob of relief as the bankai level ice shield that had risen up in front of them cracked and fluttered to the ground.

"_Arashi_! Renji! Thank Kami!"

As Nodt hastily retreated a short distance as a long, jagged blade raked his body and a sea of ice blades descended on the remaining foot soldiers, cutting them to ribbons before their leader's shocked eyes.

"That bankai!" he said disbelievingly, staring at Tetsuya's collapsed body, "I _stole_ it from him! How...?"

He retreated further as a familiar, red haired shinigami rode into the clearing ahead of him, on the back of the fallen noble's black stallion. Arashi thundered into the clearing, sliding to a stop beside Byakuya as Renji hauled the stunned noble onto the horse's back.

"Renji, what in the devil are you _doing_?" Byakuya snapped, "Let me down!"

"Relax," said the redhead, wrapping an arm around the noble's slim waist and catching a sweet breath of sakura, "We're making an opening so the rest of the clan can escape."

Byakuya let out a relieved breath as Arashi hammered the Sternritters with another volley of ice blades.

"Tetsuya and Koji," Byakuya said, worriedly, "We have to..."

"It's taken care of, see?" Renji assured him, pointing out a group of clan healers that were loading their injured kin onto stretchers, "I ran into a couple of your elders. They have a location to retreat to, and I told them I'd make sure you got there in one piece. So as soon as we get these creeps off their backs, we can escort your cousins to the new hideout."

Arashi made a snort of approval as As Nodt gave the three a derisive glare and disappeared. They watched the forest and clearing quietly, waiting until the clan healers indicated they were ready to leave. They fell in behind Arashi as the stallion headed in the direction that the other clan members had gone.

"You be sure we aren't followed, okay Fleabag?" Renji said sternly, "The last thing we want to do is to lead those bastards to the new hideout."

Arashi snorted in affirmation and moved forward into the trees. Renji left his arms wrapped around Byakuya's waist as they traveled on.

"Thank you, Abarai," Byakuya said solemnly, after they had been walking for several minutes, "I don't know that any of us would have escaped with our lives if you hadn't come when you did. I owe you for this."

Renji chuckled softly.

"That isn't all you owe me for," he said, breathing in the noble's pleasant scent, "What did you go running off like that for? I was worried about you."

Byakuya sighed softly.

"I won't waste my breath scolding you that I can take care of myself. I think this situation just proves how stupid a statement that would be. If that quincy had really wanted to kill me, I would have been dead back there, even before you arrived. He was toying with me."

"Pretty fucking big load of damage for a guy who was just playing games," commented the redhead, shaking his head, "What was he doing? Did he tell you what he was after?"

Byakuya took a steadying breath.

"Me."

"Huh?" Renji queried, frowning.

"He told me that he would allow everyone else to escape if I left with him."

"I hope you told that perverted creep to go fuck himself!" Renji exclaimed.

"You don't see me _leaving_ with him, do you?"

Renji's frown deepened into a scowl.

"Well, come to think of it, it's hard to tell what to expect from you, you know? Byakuya, you had no business taking off and leaving the hospital. And I don't even hear you trying to give me any kind of explanation. C'mon, why did you do that?"

Byakuya let out a frustrated breath.

"I was getting out of the way," he explained, "I was taking up your attention when it needed to be focused on protecting the Seireitei. I went back to the clan because I imagined that the clan healers could do as good a job of healing me from this point as the healers in the fourth, and also, you should be focusing on gathering our squad's survivors and applying them to our defenses."

"I was _doing_ that just fine before you took off!" the redhead snapped, "There was no need for you to disappear! You scared the hell outta me and made me have to come out here and save your ass."

"And if I hadn't come back, and you hadn't followed, the quincy's would have found and likely eradicated my family. I am very grateful to you for helping us, Renji, but your responsibilities and mine are different now. I have to place my focus on my clan, and you have to lead our division."

"Bullshit! You're still our division taichou, and until that title isn't yours anymore, you still have a responsibility to the guys too!"

"Oh, is that so? And what is it that I am supposed to do, Abarai? Go and stagger back to them, standing before them on shaking legs, nearly powerless and without my bankai, telling them not to worry? It will all be okay? You're better for that than me. And the other taichous don't even expect me to return!"

"Then, why haven't they taken your title yet?" Renji argued, "If there was no hope, then..."

"Renji, I know they spoke to you," Byakuya said, cutting him off, "I overheard that I was not really expected to recover fully, and that they were only holding off until there was no hope at all out of concern for how _you_ would take it."

"What _stupid, ignorant bastard_ said that! I'll kick his ass!" growled Renji, "That's raving bullshit, Taichou! Yeah, they came to me about acting as a leader, but they didn't put pressure on me to take your place. They just said that I had to be ready to lead the squad in future battles. And I'm going to do that. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be there too. The guys need to see you."

"What? Why? What possible good would it do to...?"

"They need to see that you're still fighting! What you're doing for your clan, you need to do for us too! You don't have your full powers. I know that. But it didn't stop you from going out there and facing that guy down. You put your life on the line..."

"To protect my family," Byakuya finished, "_Anyone_ would do that. It doesn't make me strong enough to lead a division of soldiers...especially when those soldiers have already once seen that I was not strong enough to protect them."

"GODDAMMIT, TAICHOU!" the redhead yelled, "How many damned times have you _told_ me that strategy is as important as strength in any battle? We don't just need raw strength. We need someone experienced in battle and who can analyze things and make good strategy!"

"I have taught you all you need to know to plan battle strategy, Renji. And in any case, strategy wasn't enough to save the lives of our men who were lost when that quincy came and started killing them. I couldn't stop him, Renji, and we lost so many men because of that simple fact!"

"And I didn't do any fucking better against them!" insisted the redhead, "We both got our asses kicked. But we are _still alive_. And as long as we are still alive, we can fight! We know more about the quincys now. They're still gonna be hard to fight until we can counter the medallions, but if you will just meet with me and the guys, I really think that we'll all handle this shit a lot better."

"Why are you so insistent that they need to see me?" Byakuya asked in an exasperated tone.

"It's only part that they need to see you, Taichou. They need to see you because seeing you still alive and fighting is going to make them more determined to fight. But I think you need to see them too."

"Why? To see just how much I have failed them? Renji..."

"To see how much they want to protect you. To see how much they want to go out there and fight for you."

"Die for me? Renji, too many already have," Byakuya sighed, "It's enough."

"Don't you think those guys sometimes want to say that?" Renji countered, "And they never had a bankai to protect anyone with. But even though they are less powerful and even though we've all been through a lot, we're still fighting. And as soon as you're battle ready, bankai or no, you need to be fighting alongside us. We need you, Byakuya. And I really think you need us too."

Byakuya went quiet, letting out his breath and sagging against Renji's strong chest. He turned his head so that the side of his face rested on the redhead's shoulder, and closed his eyes.

_He's right._

_I would expect of my men that no matter how they failed, if they could get up and fight, they had an obligation to do so. I may have been weakened, and I may have lost my bankai, but I still have sword, improving kido and flash step. I can still fight. And I can still manage the information coming in about the Sternritters. Our survival depends upon all of us doing our part. I will protect my clan, but I will also return to the division and do what I can to prepare the men. I owe them that._

He sighed in resignation.

"You are right, Renji," he said softly, "I was being selfish. It is...difficult for me, being anything but strong. And I admit that I feel guilt over being unable to protect the ones who were killed in the first attack. But...the danger isn't over yet. And it is wrong of me to give up trying to protect the ones who are left. They too, are nursing wounds and feeling guilt over the ones who were lost. It wasn't just me who failed, it was all of us. We failed together. We will grow strong again together. And when the Sternritters return, we will fight them together again."

"_The outcome will be what it will be,_" Renji said softly, "_but we will give everything to the fight, and we will win or we will all go down still fighting."_

Byakuya smiled against Renji's warm throat.

"I said that to you."

"Yeah...after I got my ass kicked pretty bad once. I never forgot it because those were really wise words. We're all in this together. And whatever happens, we'll see it through that way."

Byakuya's eyelids fluttered softly, blinking back sudden tears.

_It happens so easily now._

"Thank you, Renji," he whispered.

"You're welcome. Just...don't run away from me again, okay? We need to stick together if we're going to get out of this alive."

"You are right. I will stay with you. I will go back to the division, and I will continue to protect my family."

"And you'll give up on the idea of marrying anyone but me, right?"

Byakuya caught his breath in surprise.

"B-but..."

"Torio-san told me."

"Ah..."

"I came back here to stop you."

Byakuya lifted his head and turned it slightly to meet the redhead's eyes.

"I didn't want to put pressure on you," he explained, "You were spooked enough when I explained what Ai no Izou was about. Tetsuya is a clan member. He understood the responsibilities involved. I thought that by marrying him and making him interim leader until..."

He broke off suddenly, biting at his lips gently.

"Anyway," he went on, shaking his head, "It was a foolish thing to do. I am sorry, Renji."

"It's okay," said the redhead, "Things are really crazy right now. But we'll get through this, and send these creeps running. Then we can pick up the pieces and talk more about that."

Byakuya stopped Arashi and turned to look at Renji directly.

"You would consider...marrying me?" he asked, a haunted look in his eyes, "The way I am now?"

Renji smiled and kissed him on his cutely frowning mouth.

"Yeah. Sure, I would consider marrying you. Why? Did you think that I was picking up all the pieces of you just because I'm your fukutaichou?"

"R-renji...!"

"I know that we didn't start out so great. But, we got through that, and things changed, you know? I really started to think of you as a mentor, then as a friend."

"And now?" Byakuya asked breathlessly.

"You are my taichou," he said, kissing the noble's lips, "my lover, and my friend."

He looked deeply into the noble's troubled eyes.

"I would die for you," he said in a perfectly serious tone, "So, I don't think that marrying you is asking too much, really."

"Well, what if there was more than just asking you to be my husband, Renji?" Byakuya asked, looking down at his slim abdomen.

"What do you mean? Are there some weird rules about stuff I'd have to do for the clan or something?" Renji asked, frowning.

"Actually, it would not be for our clan, but...for our child."

Renji gave him a confused look. Byakuya surprised him with a tentative smile.

"Renji, part of the reason that I left and asked Tetsuya to marry me...was because of something that I did. I should have told you before, but I was afraid to say anything."

"O-kay..." Renji said, looking even more confused.

"When we were together, I took a rather drastic action. You being my soul mate, I was able to become pregnant from being with you."

Renji stared at him blankly.

"What?"

Byakuya's hand found Renji's and laced their fingers together.

"I am having your baby, Renji."


	14. What Needs Protecting

**Chapter 14: What Needs Protecting**

**(I wrote this under the influence of Red's 'Not Alone,' a new favorite of mine. Thanks to Moegi (So glad you enjoyed the chapter. Renji's reaction to the good news follows!), Anelir-sensei (Aww, thanks! Yes, keeping Tetsuya from getting up and trying to go back to fighting too soon may require tying him down!), Manga-fanfic fan (Ooh! I hope you really enjoyed your vacation! Here's that next chapter.), RmeGamr (That's one of the things that makes Renji so fun to write...that mix of moments of deep wisdom blended with hilarious and cute mental 'fails.'), BunnyHopster26 (Aww, so glad you like this so much! And I am working on your request from a few days ago. Just got caught up in a holiday getaway! Going home in a few hours, so will catch up this weekend!), Unsigned Guest (Byakuya is getting better at listening to Renji and becoming more equal in their partnership, and that will come into play in a big way in this chapter.), Firebirdever (Ah yes! The mystery of what happened with Tetsuya's bankai will have to wait as there is trouble to deal with first. A fateful decision will be made in this chapter!), Rip Van Helsing (The cutie is not even born and yet he or she will be very present in this chapter, from beginning to end!), Renji-Bya-Lover (Renji's reaction to Byakuya's admission and his first act as a father-to-be happens here!), Sonna214 (Bya's going to find new strength in this chapter as he and Renji face a dilemma.), Nihni (Thanks so much for writing! And I will have a new chapter of my Renji/Aizen story Blood Rain very soon!), Gunmetal Silvr (Bya's getting his steel back, and he will need it as the story moves forward, but first Renji reacts to the good news!), Tetsuya and Koji will be a driving force behind this chapter, and the question of what happened to Tet's bankai will be unraveled soon! Ah yes, the name change! I was...eluding some unwanted attention from someone with potty mouth, a bad attitude and who doesn't seem to have an actual account. The person has not reappeared, so that seems to have worked for now. *sighs* Some people...), CallMeSenseiKuchiki (Renji's reaction is coming right up! :) Enjoy!), and...Mina Kye (Aww, thanks for the holiday wishes! I hope yours was wonderful. Renji is about to react to the news...on a very 'Renji-like' way!), And on with the chapter!)**

_"I am having your baby, Renji."_

The redhead's eyes widened sweetly and he inhaled sharply in surprise.

"Wh-whoa, Taichou! B-baby? As in _baby_ baby? Y'know, little bundle of trouble, drooling, pooping, cute little devil baby? BYAKUYA!"

"I am, ah...sorry for taking such a step without involving you, Renji. It was...I imagine that you are angry."

"Eh..." the redhead stammered, "Actually, I'm too busy trying to wrap my head around you sprouting a little round pot belly and going around barefoot and putting flowers in your hair and shit...although that would be cute too. When you said we should get married, I didn't think you meant the whole package. N-not that I'm disappointed really or anything, though it is a surprise."

"Renji..."

"I'm shaking like a fucking leaf," Renji laughed nervously, "I don't think fighting those quincy bastards is close to as scary."

"Abarai?"

"Can you imagine me..._me_? Holding on to a squirmy, loud little troublemaker like that and tryin' to be an example? An example of what?" the redhead rambled on, "Being awkward? Gettin' knocked on my ass? Swingin' a sword and yelling?"

"Renji, stop!"

"Hehe, oh my kami, what's the kid gonna look like? I mean, will he be tall like me? Big bones, little bones? Pretty like you? Big and...?"

"_Abarai!_" the noble snapped, swatting him on the top of the head and making him blink and stare in surprise," Would you please stop that ridiculous babbling?"

"But Byakuya, I never _had _a dad! I don't know _anything_ about being a good father! I'm not even a noble. I'll probably teach him all of the wrong things! I don't know shit about having good manners, saying the right things or things like that. All I really know is how to fight. And what good is that when the little rugrat can't stand up and doesn't reach halfway up my shinbone?"

"Relax, Renji," Byakuya said, shaking his head, "You will be a good father."

"Right...sure. You at least _had _a mom and dad. Maybe not so long, but you know what they're supposed to be like, ne? I don't know any of that!"

"Calm yourself, Abarai, and think for a moment. There were many orphans in Inuzuri, ne?"

"Oh...well, yeah, but..."

"And I am sure that you and Rukia helped the ones who crossed your path."

"Okay, yeah, we did. But I didn't teach them how to be good! I taught them how to steal and hustle people for food!"

Byakuya shook his head firmly.

"You taught those children how to survive in an uncivilized environment. And when your circumstances changed, you changed too. You don't steal anymore, ne?"

"Er...no," said the redhead, "Although, I do cheat at cards now and then."

Byakuya sighed.

"You have much more to teach our child than fighting and cheating at cards, Renji."

"Okay," the redhead said, frowning, "Like what?"

"Do you really not know, Renji?" the noble asked, furrowing his brow.

"I _really_ don't!" Renji said helplessly, "I'm barely more than a kid myself, at least according to Rukia. And I have all kinds of bad habits."

"You are not perfect. That is understood. And, I might add that no one is perfect. And you may not feel prepared for the job. But you have many good qualities, Renji."

"Yeah, right. Which ones?" the redhead groaned.

"You say that you are barely more than a kid yourself?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I say that you will be relaxed with our child...funny, and gentle."

"Huh..."

"You say that you cannot teach our child proper manners? That is not true."

"What? But I don't even know...!"

"You know how to be kind. You know to help those who are weaker than you, younger than you, those who are hurt or too small to help themselves. You teach them to survive, and more than that, how to take care of themselves. And Renji, you teach them how to show respect for everyone, regardless of where they come from."

Renji blinked in surprise, flushing at the unexpected praise.

"Well, it does sound better when you put it like that, I guess," he admitted, "But, um, what about your elders? Won't they be mad? Isn't it against the rules for you to marry a commoner?"

The noble arched an elegant eyebrow.

"Abarai, are you _really_ thinking that the elders will object to me marrying and having heirs with a bankai level, Gotei 13 officer who not only brought me back from the brink of death, but stood by me and remained loyal...picked up the pieces of me and put them back together? Do you think they would forget that today alone, you saved not only my life, but the lives of every man, woman and child in our clan?"

"Well, in all fairness, it was really Arashi who..."

"You _and _Arashi forced the quincys back and allowed the clan to escape, while also protecting Tetsuya and Koji from death, and me from capture," the noble insisted, "Those are no small things. While I admit that marrying a commoner is at odds with our rules, you are one of those rare, exceptional people who will be accepted by the clan...because of who you are and what you have accomplished."

Byakuya sighed softly and squeezed the redhead's hand.

"And besides," he went on, "The war with the quincys has necessitated greater cooperation between classes. When the noble houses were attacked, people of the Rukongai..._commoners_ who could have held a grudge for being looked down on, willingly opened their homes and offered assistance to the survivors. Our family will never forget those acts of kindness. It changes things. So, do not worry about gaining acceptance here. You have won your way into my heart, and into this family with your faithfulness, courage, strength and love."

Renji's blush deepened and he started to sputter an answer, but Arashi suddenly slowed, then passed through a protective barrier that hid the Kuchiki clan's new encampment. Byakuya and Renji dismounted and followed the healers who were attending Tetsuya and Koji. The healers entered a medical tent that had been prepared and Byakuya and Renji took up positions outside to wait for news.

"I hope they'll be all right," Renji said quietly, "Arashi told me that Tetsuya's mind shut down and he couldn't make any connection with him. Apparently, that has never happened to the two before."

Byakuya's eyes took on a haunted look.

"Well, it is not surprising, given the number of those thorns that impaled him," he said in a hushed tone, "He is lucky to be alive at all, at this point. Koji as well."

"Yeah," agreed the redhead, "Facing down Senbonzakura and taking a direct hit? We know all about how that feels."

He winced at the stricken look that rose up on Byakuya's pale face.

"Oh, hey, sorry. Look, you can't blame yourself. You aren't the only one who had a bankai stolen. And it only happened because we didn't understand the power that the quincys were using. You shouldn't blame yourself."

"But Senbonzakura is a part of me," Byakuya objected, "It feels as though I lost control of a part of myself and...this...is the result. How could I _not_ feel guilt when the power that hurt them was mine? I don't think that you could tell me that you would feel different if it was Zabimaru used to attack them."

"Well...I guess you're right. It's a natural reaction," Renji admitted, "But it doesn't mean that you should blame yourself."

"Byakuya-sama?"

The two men broke off their conversation as the head clan healer came out of the tent where Tetsuya and Koji were bring healed.

"Michio? How are our cousins?"

The old man shook his head grimly.

"I will not lie to you, Byakuya-sama. Their injuries are devastating and we are not going to be able to help them under these circumstances."

"What do you mean? We were prepared for evacuation...well enough so that you should have the means to..."

"It is not that," the healer explained, "Their injuries are just too great for us to handle. You need to understand that there is only one person who can heal them. The human girl, Inoue Orihime. We heard that she has arrived at the fourth division and is assisting with the injured there. But they must be taken there immediately. Their condition is grave."

"But how do we transport them?" asked Renji worriedly.

"Renji has a valid point," Byakuya mused, "Arashi cannot carry them because he is the only one able to use bankai power against our enemies. He is too critical to the survival of the clan, should we be found. But if we do not send them and Tetsuya dies, then Arashi will follow."

"And we will lose a crucial line of defense," Renji added.

"We could open a family senkaimon and send a medical team through," said the healer, "Access to the senkaimon right now is strictly limited to military and medical emergencies. But passing through is risky. If we send an escort, we raise the risk of detection by the enemy. But if the team falls under attack, we are likely to lose them unless they have capable protection."

"Then, we need to send one fighter capable of creating an opening for the others to escape, and then escaping, himself," said Byakuya.

He went quiet for a moment, carefully avoiding Renji's eyes. Renji studied his profile for a moment, reading the anguish beneath the surface calm.

"I can protect them," the redhead said, placing his hand on his weapon, "I will get them though, Byakuya. I swear it."

"Renji, it is very...heartening that you would do this, but we would be putting at least five lives at risk to save two. I want more than anything for Tetsuya and Koji to be healed, but weighing their lives against so many others..."

"But if Tetsuya dies, then Arashi will too. And that will leave the clan without his defensive capabilities," Renji reminded him.

"Renji, you are a taichou level Gotei 13 officer. Putting you at risk unnecessarily could potentially put thousands more at risk."

He let out a sigh of deep frustration.

"It seems that no matter what we do there is danger to a large number of people. If our medical team falls under attack..."

"Byakuya, listen to me," Renji said, narrowing his eyes, "I promise you, I will get them through to the healing center. I won't let anything happen to them. You have my word."

"But you..."

"I wont die. I promise you I won't. And I won't lose the team. Trust me."

The noble looked back at him breathlessly.

"Trust me," the redhead repeated, moving closer and slipping his arms around Byakuya, "Tetsuya and Koji are going to be all right. And as soon as they are at the healing center, I will come back."

Byakuya fell silent again, considering the situation carefully. Renji watched solemnly as the noble's mind worked through the few options again. Finally, he met Renji's eyes.

"I am going to trust you," he said, squeezing the redhead's hands.

"Ah," Renji sighed in relief, "I knew you would..."

"I am going to trust you and Arashi to protect the clan with your lives...while I protect the medical team."

"What?" Renji objected, "Byakuya..."

"Think, Renji," the noble said calmly, "The quincy we are most likely to encounter is the one who is stalking me. You know that. He will have the most motivation and the best skills to find me. And if he finds me while I am with the clan, then it puts all of them at risk. If I accompany the medical team, then As Nodt finding me would only risk the seven of us. The clan would still be well protected. Also, placing myself with the nedical team protects your bankai, which will be critical to the survival of the Gotei 13."

"Byakuya, no..."

"Renji, I have taught you everything I know about strategy. Stop thinking with your heart for a moment and use your head. You and I have equal chances of escape if the medical team falls under attack. We are close in speed and ability. But risking you risks a bankai. We cannot do that until the twelfth division completes its analyses and comes up with a way to counter those medallions."

He paused for a moment, considering his words carefully.

"Renji, you asked me to trust you. And I am entrusting to you and Arashi everything that I hold dear. The survival of my family will be rested in your hands. Do not let them be captured. The enemy will slaughter them all. You know that one of Juha Bach's edicts is to destroy the noble clans. You and Arashi will be all that stands in the way of them doing that."

Renji bit at his lips, longing to argue, but unable to do so in the face of the facts of the situation.

"Renji, you said that I should trust you," Byakuya prompted him, "Will you protect my family on my behalf?"

The redhead felt a hard twinge of agony, then was suddenly jolted out of it by a small voice that rose up from somewhere around his knee. He looked down and found a small child's face looking up at him through pretty, gray eyes.

"Why are there lines on you?" the little boy asked, "Did you draw on yourself?"

Renji grinned down at the little boy and tousled his hair.

"No," he told the boy, "My zanpakutou put them there. When I get stronger, he adds to the markings."

The boy stared at him, wide-eyed.

"That's a lot of markings," he observed, "You must be really strong."

Renji glanced at Byakuya, his eye coming to rest on the noble's still slim abdomen, and a glint of steel entered them.

"I have to be strong to protect _my family_," he told the boy, looking up and meeting Byakuya's eyes meaningfully.

The two continued to gaze at each other as the boy's mother appeared and herded him away.

"Renji..."

"Don't say it," the redhead said, his lips tightening, "You and I both know that there is something dear to us that we have to protect. You carry two thirds of the only family I have ever had, Byakuya. And that two thirds is going to stay here with the clan."

"Abarai, I am not even..."

"I don't care," Renji said, tears coming to his eyes, "Byakuya, you said that I would be a good father. I am going to do that now. I can't let you walk out of here and risk losing both you and our baby. Please. Stay here, where you will have Arashi to protect you, and let me go with the medical team. I will get them through and I will come back for you. Let me do this, okay?"

Byakuya held Renji's eyes stubbornly, but flinched as an infant's cry sounded somewhere nearby them. At the sound, his breath caught and his hand reached down to touch the area over the developing reiatsu in his abdomen. After a long hesitation, he closed his eyes and let out his breath. Then, he nodded, reluctantly.

"Thank kami," Renji sighed, pulling him close and kissing him warmly, "I thought you were going to still insist on going."

"Well," said the noble, rubbing his belly gently, "You are doing your part to be a good father. I must do my part as well. Go then."

Renji nodded.

"And Renji...thank you," he went on, "I know that Tetsuya and Koji will be in good hands."

Renji nodded and offered him a final, long kiss of farewell. Then, he turned back to the healer, who stood a short distance away, waiting.

"Let's go," he said, his eyes glinting with determination, "We have two lives to save."


	15. Let Love Not Slip Away

**Chapter 15: Let Love Not Slip Away**

**(Ah, finally busted through the writer's block and finished something! I hate writer's block. Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing, including Walkure Leuad (Yup, no one rambles like a flustered Renji! Too cute...), Karl1n (lol, have to stop somewhere! I will try to be more merciful next time...yeah, next time!), RmeGamr (Yup, lots of exciting stuff ahead. I will write faster now that I have the rest thought out in pretty good detail in my head.), Caitriona 695 (Unohana taichou will give some insight into what makes Tetsuya and Arashi different, so that's coming soon.), Firebirdever (Ah, the wait is over! Hope you enjoy the new chapter.), Sonna214 (Byakuya is definitely finding his strength again, and he will grow even stronger despite...well...difficulties. Don't want to say too much! lol), Manga-Fanfic Fan (This chapter will burn hotter than India, just not romantically...darn.), Gravity's Child (Aww, thanks for dropping in! Don't you worry. I have some really good things in store ahead!), Enzy-chan (Welcome back! :) So glad you liked the chapter.), Sohainochiyoko (Byakuya is about to make some real progress...amidst a difficult situation, of course. But Renji will be there when he is really in need. Protective Renji is seriously hot too!), CallMeSenseiKuchiki (Renji will be so cute with kids! But there's something he and Byakuya need to take care of first. And that's about to become a 'front burner' issue.), Geecee (Yup, I love protective Renji showing his strength. And he'll make a good daddy too!), TomyAllen (Aww, thanks! Hope good things come to you this year!), Alabirdie (Thanks so much! You're sweet. And you can count on Renji to get the injured to safety. But he'd better be prepared to run back to Bya...quickly!), and Renji-Bya-Lover (Aww, you're sweet...but...then the story would be over. Got to have that showdown first before the finishing fluff and happy ending.) Thanks everyone! :) I'm getting back to work. Gotta write that next chapter!)**

"We must stop for a moment, Abarai-san," one of the healers carrying Tetsuya's stretcher said, looking around nervously at the dark interior of the corridor.

"It can't wait for a few more minutes until we're to the exit?" Renji asked, an unsettled edge in his voice.

"Sir, if we wait any longer, then Inoue-san will be trying to raise the dead. Tetsuya-san's condition has gone critical and he is in imminent danger of dying right now," the healer insisted, "I must be allowed a few minutes to place him in suspension."

"Suspension?" Renji repeated, looking down at Tetsuya's too pale face, "Damn it...he's that bad? I'll destroy that creep..."

"Sir?"

"Go ahead," Renji said, swallowing hard and looking back into the darkness behind them, "Do whatever you have to do to keep him alive. Not that I doubt Orihime's abilities, but she's got a mountain of people she's probably helping. She's going to have to conserve some energy or she'll burn out before we even get there."

He caught sight of Torio, who had been helping to carry Koji, looking down at his unconscious brother and wiping away tears. He stepped closer and set a hand on the young man's shoulder.

"He's gonna be all right...Koji and Tetsuya-san will be fine. Orihime will take good care of them. Don't worry, Torio."

"That quincy," Torio whispered, still gazing down at his brother, "That bastard hurt him so badly. Renji-san, Koji was just protecting Tetsuya-san. The quincys...why are they doing this? We never did anything to them. We weren't even alive when the Gotei 13 decided to kill them all. Why are they trying to kill all of us? Don't they know? Don't they understand that it's only going to destroy everything? They want the worlds to end?"

He sniffed softly and wiped his eyes, flinching and staring in surprise as Koji moved sluggishly and moaned his name.

"T-torio...? Nii-san? D-don't cry, Nii-san!"

Torio shook his head and tightened his lips.

"Be quiet, _otouto_ (little brother), you need to rest. We're taking you and Tetsuya-san to Inoue-san. She is going to heal you."

Koji turned his head shakily and blinked slowly, taking in the sight of his injured lover.

"He's b-bad, isn't he?" Koji said wearily, "Torio, is he...?"

"He's going to be all right, otouto. Please go back to sleep. You are both going to be..."

He trailed off as a rumbling sound rose up in the corridor, a short distance ahead of them. Renji peered into the darkness and drew his weapon. The healer working on Tetsuya straightened and stared in the direction of the sound as it closed in on them.

"Go!" Renji shouted, raising his blade, "The exit point is just ahead. You'll be safe from there. The rest of the way is patrolled by our forces. Go!"

"But what about you, Renji-san?" cried Torio.

"There isn't time. I'll be fine! Just get them out of here!"

The wide-eyed attendant hesitated, gazing at the lone shinigami protecting them.

"Torio-san!" called the other man assisting with Koji's stretcher, "We have to move now!"

"But Renji-san...!"

"If we don't go now, they will die!" the healer insisted.

He looked back at Renji's imposing form.

"Renji-san is very strong. He protects our leader. He can hold them off, Torio-san, and we must proceed now. Trust him as our leader does."

Torio swallowed hard, letting out a sound of dismay as the first of the Sternritter foot soldiers appeared. The healer dragged him into motion, and the two fled, carrying the injured shinigamis. Behind them, Renji stared down the approaching mass of fighters, glad for the narrow corridor that would limit the number that could attack him all at once.

"Come on, you bastards!" he cried belligerently, "You want a fucking fight? I'll give you one you won't forget!"

He watched intently as they approached, sheathing his sword and beginning a soft incantation.

_"Ye lord! Mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! Inferno and pandemonium, the sea barrier surges, march on to the south! _Hado number 31, Shakkahou!"

He loosed the glowing red fireballs, one after the other, aiming carefully at the reiatsu charged walls of the corridor. Furious laughter followed them down the corridor, echoing along the way before striking the walls around the approaching Sternritters and setting them ablaze. The fire erupted with a shaking roar, turning the place into an inferno, with the foot soldiers caught in the midst of it. Screams filled the corridor as Renji saw the fire spreading, and turned away, knowing now that he must escape or he would be swallowed up as well. But as Renji turned, he slid to a stop, staring at the person who had been approaching him from behind.

"Greetings, Abarai Renji. I was hoping I would meet you in here. I am Onno Brennan, the inferno, and my power is..."

XXXXXXXXXX

"Thank you, Akio. That will be all for tonight," Byakuya said, dismissing the attendant.

He noted the boy's deeply worried expression and touched him lightly on the shoulder. Akio looked up at him through widened green eyes.

"You are concerned for your brothers," the clan leader acknowledged, "I understand. Torio and Koji will return to us safely, once Tetsuya and Koji have been healed."

"I know, sir," Akio replied, his hands clasping each other anxiously, "But Koji was hurt so badly, and Tetsuya-san too! And Torio is out there, where the Sternritters are."

"Do not worry," Byakuya assured him, "They are being protected by the man who brought me back from death's doorway. If there is one thing that I know, it is that Abarai Renji is formidable. He will not let them die, Akio. You can have perfect faith in that. Trust me."

"I do trust you, Byakuya-sama," the boy said, blinking back tears, "And you are right. If Renji-san can give you back to us after what that monster did to you, then my brothers and Tetsuya-san will be all right. I am sorry that I despaired. I should have more faith in them."

"Do not concern yourself with that. Go now and rest. We must use these quiet moments to steel ourselves for the next battle."

"Hai, Byakuya-sama," the attendant said, bowing as he exited the tent.

Byakuya walked to the bed and laid down, shivering softly as he slid down under the as yet cold bedding and waited for it to warm from his body's heat. He felt Renji's absence keenly now, and tried reaching out with his senses, but found them oddly obscured.

_We have been forced into such a remote area, and Renji and the others may still be in the precipice world. I will try again after I have rested._

He closed his eyes, sighing in relief as his body warmth began to heat the sheets and blankets he laid under, and the uncomfortable chill abated.

_The family is handling this well. For the children especially, who have never known cold that could not be abated, or having to do things for themselves, this situation is difficult. But despite everything, our clan members are showing exceptional poise and adaptability. This is good. But...I cannot help but long for the time when we can return home and rebuild._

Byakuya let his mind drift toward sleep, comforted by the strong presence of the guards outside his tent. In moments, he was asleep, and the area around him peaceful, though unusually silent compared to the busier atmosphere of home.

_Home._

_I want to go home._

_Wrapped in sleep, he removed himself from the chill enclave in the hills of the Seireitei and returned to the place where he had grown up. He saw again the familiar shapes of the manor building and the lovely, well-tended gardens, smelled the freshness that the flowers, grass and trees gave the air, the scents of hot food cooking and the gentle sounds of the attendants and staff at work, the breezes through the trees and splashes of koi in the ponds._

_He didn't want to think about what it had become. But even in his hopeful dream, reality set in, and Byakuya saw the buildings in shambles with fire gutting the insides, the torn up ground and ponds scattered with dead and dying fish. He smelled the scents of fire and brimstone and felt the aching sense of loss at the destruction of this place that had been his home. Even in his sleep, tears slid down his face and the cold entered his body once again._

_But just as he felt he might be crushed by the hopelessness of it all, a familiar presence returned to his mind and pulled him out of his despair. He felt Renji's arms around him and looked up into strong, proud, red-brown eyes that made him feel once again that things would be all right. There was still strength in him and in the clan, and they could fight their way back and reclaim what they had lost._

_"Thank you, Renji," he said, sinking his fingers into the other man's red hair._

_He knew he was only dreaming, but there was still incredible warmth in the muscular arms that held him and the lips that caressed his._

_"I am glad that you are here with me."_

_"I am always with you. No matter what happens, I will find you. I love you, Kuchiki Byakuya."_

"I love you, Renji," Byakuya whispered in his sleep.

Outside the camp, As Nodt stood silently within the misted trees until darkness had fallen and the fog thickened enough to hide his passage.

_Ah...now the time has come._

_You complained that I toyed with you before, Kuchiki Byakuya. But the truth is that I have been toying with you all along. Ever since our battle. That reiatsu I left within you ensured that I could follow you anywhere._

_Do you know what that means?_

He stepped forward, moving carefully and staying in the thickest of the fog.

_I could slaughter them all right now. They do not sense me because their senses are affected by the reiatsu I placed in you. They accept its presence without questioning it, because you desensitized them to it when you joined them._

_Yes, I could finish off the entire vain, proud, arrogant Kuchiki clan this moment. Our leader would certainly reward me for such a feat. It is high on his list of priorities. But...I have my own priorities, Byakuya. I have my own plans._

_So, these people you care about will sleep in safety for a bit longer, while you and I disappear together. And when we are alone and you are without an escape...without anyone to save you, I will discover why you alone seem resistant to my powers. When that is done, I will fill you with fear well beyond what you experienced before. I will take you back to them and have them all killed as you watch. I will make nightmares far worse than yours, your true reality, Byakuya. And even you, a once powerful taichou will scream as madness descends on your mind and possesses your heart with such force that it howls and dies. You will fall at my feet and die, as you should have before._

_Yes, you will be sorry that you lived, and you will curse the man who pulled you back from death's doorway only to see everything destroyed completely._

As Nodt paused at the back of the tent where he sensed that Byakuya laid, sleeping, and he smiled.

_Even you do not sense me when I use the corrupted reiatsu I infused you with to approach._

He considered killing the guards, but decided against it.

_It would only make them move again, and I don't want that. I need them here to use to break this one's will. I want them to be in doubt about whether he was taken, or if he left on his own._

So, he resolved to leave no traces.

He watched until the guard changed, finding a moment when the men were faced the other way to slip in through the front entry. He approached the noble on silent feet and paused just short of the bed. He focused on the reiatsu he had placed in the noble's body and brought its power to life, sending a shock through Byakuya that incapacitated him instantly.

_I could have taken you at any time during our battle, but I want there to be time to explore you, to study you. If they become aware too soon, not only would they search for you, but our own leader might hear of this._

_This has nothing to do with him or his plans._

_This, Byakuya, is personal._

He took Byakuya from the bed and laid him down on the floor at the back of the tent. Using a razor he found among the noble's belongings, he carefully cut a slit along the back of the tent, near the bottom, where it wouldn't be obvious.

_They will find it, of course, but they won't know if I cut this or he did. They will only find his reiatsu, which had been tainted already with the corrupted reiatsu I infused him with when I attacked him with my thorns. They will spend precious hours trying to figure out what happened. And I will put that time to good use finding out all I want to know._

_Then, Kuchiki Byakuya, you and your family will die out completely. I will eradicate all of you!_

He passed through the opening he had made, then cautiously extracted the unconscious noble from the tent. He left as slowly as he had come, carrying Byakuya's limp body through the fog enshrouded camp and emerging on the edges, smiling that the alarm had not been sounded.

_You see, no one is the wiser._

He started to turn, but found himself facing the tall black Arabian stallion that had fended of the attack before.

"You!" he hissed, sending a hail of thorns in Arashi's direction, "Damn you!"

Arashi raised himself onto his hind legs, screaming in defiance and launching a hail of ice blades that curved around Byakuya's motionless form and struck the quincy, cutting even through his hastily employed defenses.

"I do not have time to deal with you properly," he snarled at the stallion, turning and employing his Hirenkyaku step to escape to the top of a ridge.

He looked back at the furious stallion and the nobles rushing to join him.

"I will be back to destroy you. And do not worry about anyone else doing the job. I want to kill you all myself!"

Arashi loosed a squeal of rage and flash stepped to the edge of a cliff, launching his body into the air and firing his ice blades at the quincy again.

"Fool! Even with your bankai level power, you are no match for me!"

Arashi landed roughly on the next ledge and burst forward, followed by a wave of nobles, who loosed a storm of power after the retreating enemy. The released power crashed into a small mountain behind As Nodt, just as the quincy stepped away and disappeared into the trees.

"Prepare yourselves, Kuchiki nobles," he warned them as he vanished, "When I return, it will be the end for all of you!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Holy hell!" Renji gasped, almost tempted to smile at the irony of the words.

He backed away as the body of the quincy in front of him burst into flame, and laughter echoed all around him.

"Thank you for killing the foot soldiers," Onno said, smiling, "I didn't really want to have to destroy them myself, and this power when brought into the precipice world is really volatile. But now that it is just you and me, I can let loose and not worry. The fire won't hurt me, and my comrades are already dead."

"You son of a bitch!" snapped Renji, "Don't you even give a damn about your own people?"

"Hah!" laughed Onno, "That is _your_ weakness. We are taught not to align ourselves too closely, as _anyone_ may need to be sacrificed to destroy the shinigamis!"

"You don't care if your own friends die?" Renji asked, "Your own family? Really?"

Onno's eyes narrowed.

"Affections make a person weak," he explained, "We are taught to be willing to sacrifice everything for the sole purpose of defeating the enemy!"

"Baka!" yelled Renji, giving more ground as the quincy's fire attack roared towards him, "What the hell's the good of winning if those people you care about aren't even there to enjoy it with? Don't you care about anything at all?"

"Yes, actually," Onno said, pausing and holding his fires ready, "We care about survival. That is why we must destroy all of you! Your people tried to exterminate us, and they nearly succeeded. But because of Juha Bach-sama, we are here to take our revenge!"

"But don't you see what you're doing?" Renji cried, backing away as the fire began to swell threateningly again, "You're attacking people who had nothing to do with that decision! You're hurting innocent people, just the way you were hurt!"

"And we _should_ hurt them! They are the spawn of the ones who tried to destroy us. They need to die!"

"But you won't succeed," Renji said firmly, flinching as the heat of Onno's fires moved threateningly closer, "You'll just start the whole thing over, making enemies of the ones who survive, so they will come after you. I'm not saying that you don't have a right to your anger. But think about what you are doing!"

Renji flash stepped back as a swirl of fire flared up in front of him. He gasped in surprise as his back touched a wall, and he realized that he had been cornered.

"Are you going to use your bankai now?" Onno asked mockingly, "Go ahead. I will steal it, then you will be destroyed and I will have one more weapon for our people to use against yours."

Renji's eyes widened as his mind spun, trying to think of something to do. Something appeared in the hallway behind Onno and the redhead lowered his eyes so as not to alert the quincy.

"Oh, are you despairing now?" asked the quincy, "I understand. You have nothing left to fight me with. You are helpless and alone...and about to die that way."

"No," Renji said calmly, "I am not going to die."

"What?"

"I have the one thing that you turned your back on and shouldn't have," the redhead explained.

Onno's eyes flared as he realized and started to turn.

A cyclone of water erupted from behind the quincy, filling the corrider and wrapping itself around Onno. The quincy loosed a terrified scream as the water swept him away into the darkness.

Renji held his breath and ducked down into a small corner as the water drenched him and the flames around him, then carried his enemy away. A loud neigh sounded, and Arashi trotted forward.

"Fleabag! Thanks a lot," Renji said, climbing to his feet, shaking the water out of his hair and patting the stallion on the neck, "But you're supposed to be guarding the clan encampment. Why did you come here?"

_I had to come. Renji-san, As Nodt infiltrated our encampment._

"Oh my god..." Renji whispered, his heart freezing, "Are they...?"

_He didn't hurt any of us,_ the stallion explained, _It seems that his only goal...was to take Byakuya-sama._

"He...took Byakuya?" Renji repeated, unable to believe his own words.

_Yes. We must find him, Renji-san. But before we do that, the council wishes to offer you something to help you and Byakuya-sama in the fight. Come with me. Come quickly!_


	16. Touch and Fear

**Chapter 16: Touch and Fear**

Byakuya felt a hard chill pass through him as consciousness returned and he realized that his body had been bound to a bed with strong ropes made of highly concentrated reiatsu. He felt pressure where his wrists had been lashed together, above his head, and more around his ankles where they were fastened to the footboard at the end of the bed. A small fluttering of his eyelids yielded the information that he had fortunately been blindfolded and not blinded. He sensed someone powerful in the room, and did not have to think too hard to figure out who had taken him.

"You are awake," As Nodt's cold, eerie voice said, matter-of-factly, "That is good. I imagine that your family and friends have already begun to seek us. And I have other duties to see to as well. But before we go on with that, I would like to explore you more closely."

Byakuya flinched as a gloved finger touched his cheek lightly, sending a wave of fresh shivers down his spine. A whisper of breath touched his skin, and he felt the sense of being dangerously close to dying.

"You still react on a physical level to my power," commented the quincy, "But, it seems that the fear remains on the surface. Where before, it reached your heart and paralyzed you completely, now you feel the emotion, but you do not freeze. Why is that?"

Byakuya remained silent, unable to think of any answer.

"You don't know?" As Nodt asked calmly, "Well, then, we shall explore that question together."

The bed moved as the quincy sat down on it. As he moved closer, sweat broke out on the noble's pale skin, and his heart began to race. But, as the quincy had pointed out to him, as much as he felt the fear in his body, his mind remained unusually clear and focused.

_He is right. Something is very different this time._

As Nodt's voice sounded again, stealing him out of his thoughts.

"There are two kinds of power that we quincy's can use. One kind of power exists within some of us already. These are innate talents that manifest themselves in some way, much like your own powers. Then, there are powers that are granted to us by our leader. Sometimes, the granted power is unique, but sometimes, as in my case, the granted power enhances the innate power that is already there."

The quincy's gloved fingers touched Byakuya's face again, and As Nodt watched approvingly as the noble shuddered in reaction.

"I learned very early that my touch was deadly," the quincy explained, "My parents, of course, were spared, as were my blood relations. But...the first time that anyone other then a family member made contact with my skin, that person died."

Byakuya flinched as As Nodt's fingers stroked his face, and images flashed in his mind.

_He caught a glimpse of a woman, lifting a baby into her arms, looking into his deep, black eyes and smiling._

_"Oh, such a sweet little thing!" the woman cooed, tickling his cheek._

_As her fingertips touched his bare skin, an odd glow rose around them. The woman gave a strange, echoing shriek, her eyes rounding as intense, gripping fear exploded through her body and began to consume her. The baby's mother snatched the infant back from the other woman and held him tightly against her, watching in horror as her friend's screams filled the air, and the woman collapsed onto the floor. The others in the room stared at the fallen woman, no one daring to move. Finally, the baby's father moved forward and knelt at the woman's side. With shaking hands, he turned her from her side onto her back. Soft exclamations of horror issued from the others gathered in the room as they encountered the woman's terrified eyes and the truth dawned on them._

"She died of fright," As Nodt whispered in the noble's ear, "My innate power in its uncontrolled form was too much for her. That incident left my family too petrified to touch me. My parents devised a special layer of clothing that encased my body, protecting any who touched me from making direct contact. But the damage was already done. They were forced to take me and to flee from our home before someone would have tried to have me taken from them. We moved somewhere far away and they bought a large estate in the country. They kept me there always, never allowing anyone to know they even had a son and never letting me leave the grounds."

Byakuya considered the quincy's words carefully.

"It sounds like a lonely existence," he said softly.

Even As Nodt's laughter, he found, chilled him to the core.

"Sympathy, Byakuya? Coming from you, that is amusing."

"What do you know of me?" asked the noble.

"Kuchiki Byakuya," said As Nodt, citing the data he had read, "Son of Kuchikis Soujun and Sorano. Grandson of Kuchiki Ginrei, and leader of the Kuchiki clan, and Gotei 13, Sixth Division. Hakudo master, kido and flash step expert. His sword, Senbonzakura, releases small blades that are nearly too small to be seen, but look like falling cherry blossoms where the light catches them. His bankai, Senbonzakura Kageyoshi is one of the more deadly among the shinigami taichous. A larger release of petals with the command 'Scatter.' Bankai has additional levels, 'Senkei,' a thousand blades that form a chamber, where defense is sacrificed to raise the blades' killing power. 'Gokei,' a sphere of blades that surround the opponent, striking from every conceivable angle. And 'Shuukei Hakuteiken,' a brilliant white aura and sword with tremendous cutting ability. Yes, you are formidable, Byakuya, but you are known to be arrogant and callous, taunting your opponents as you attack with no more power than you think it will take to make them fall."

_They don't know about the hurtless area?_

"So, it is not like you to spare sympathy on an enemy. I must assume, then, that you are studying me for weaknesses. Go ahead. You will not find one to exploit."

"I offered no sympathy," Byakuya replied quietly, "I merely reflected that it would be lonely to be raised in isolation, with even your parents being too afraid to touch you. Even though they had already witnessed that you could not hurt them."

"Perhaps they felt that it was not that I could not hurt them, but that I had the potential and simply chose not to kill them. And they were wise to be so cautious, Byakuya. But as wise as they were, they were fools to try to imprison me. And finally, I was forced to kill them to escape. It was then that Juha Bach-sama appeared and told me that he could help me to control and perfect my powers. He bestowed upon me, the power to manifest those golden thorns I struck you with, to confine my power within them so as to better concentrate and control the inflicting of fear."

Byakuya took a hissing breath as he sensed the manifestation of one of As Nodt's thorns above him, then felt it sink slowly into his shoulder. His teeth clenched and he closed his eyes, even beneath the blindfold, fear making the blood turn icy in his veins.

"Interesting," said the quincy, "I think I begin to understand. This resistance you have, this shield around your heart is powered by something outside your body. Although fear permeates every part of you, you are not consumed by it, because it does not envelop your heart. Tell me, Kuchiki Byakuya, what means did you find to thwart my power?"

Renji's face appeared suddenly in the noble's mind.

"I don't know what you are talking about!" he insisted.

_Could it be?_

"You are lying."

Byakuya winced and groaned as more thorns formed and penetrated his restrained body.

"Tell me!"

"I don't..."

"TELL ME!" As Nodt snarled.

Byakuya went breathless as another thorn formed and the tip touched one blindfolded eye. He managed a panting breath, then succumbed once more to unconsciousness. As Nodt glared down at him and let the golden thorns fade.

"A short respite then," he whispered darkly, "but this is not an escape. Do not dream you will escape from me, Byakuya. You are going to yield everything to me!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Hantarou-kun!" Torio cried, recognizing the young healer as the four carrying Tetsuya and Koji burst into the fourth division, "We have two gravely injured men. Help us, please!"

Hanatarou rushed to them as they stopped inside the doors, then he leaned over Tetsuya, taking a quick scan. He repeated the same with Koji and nodded.

"Bring them this way. They need to be healed by Inoue Orihime. She is resting after healing some others that were near death, but she should have recovered enough for this."

Torio and the others fell in with the healer, following him to a treatment room, where several other healers waited. They moved the injured men to two beds in the room, then one of them led the group that had brought them to a waiting area.

"Someone will come to inform you as soon as there is any news."

"Thank you," said Torio, "But there is something that you will want to know."

"Sir?" queried the healer.

"Kuchiki Tetsuya has an unregistered bankai, water type, that he shares with his stallion, Arashi."

"He sh-shares a bankai with...?"

"Yes!" Torio said urgently, "The enemy tried to use one of their medallions to steal it, and they seemed to have done so. But although Tetsuya-san could not use his bankai after, Arashi was still able to do so. We do not know why this happened, but we thought that Unohana taichou should know so that she might have more to help her figure out how the medallions work."

"Thank you," said the healer, bowing, "I will see that Unohana taichou is informed immediately!"

Torio watched as the healer flash stepped away, then turned back to the other who had accompanied him.

"You should return to the precipice world to find Renji-san," he told them, "I will remain here to see to Tetsuya-san and my brother. But we need to offer Renji-san whatever help we can!"

Michio considered the attendant's words for a moment, then nodded.

"As you wish then. But Torio-san, you must stay here with them, then. Whatever happens, do not attempt to return to the clan alone. It is too dangerous."

"I won't," Torio promised, "I will stay here to help care for my brother and Tetsuya-san, once they have been stabilized."

"Very well. We will go then."

The three flash stepped away, leaving Torio looking after them.

"Help is coming, Renji-san," he whispered, "We owe you for helping us to get them through!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Abarai Renji," said Kuchiki Nori, looking up as the redhead strode into the council's gathering tent, "We are glad to see that you have returned to us safely. But, something serious has happened, and we need to ask for your help."

"Arashi told me that Byakuya was kidnapped," Renji affirmed, "I'm going to go after that bastard, but you guys should really get out of here and find somewhere else to go, for your own safety. For all you know, As Nodt gave away your position to the enemy, and others could be on the way to annihilate you!"

"There will be no others," Nori said with certainty.

"What?"

"That quincy," said the head councilor, "came into our camp and stole our leader out from under our very noses. And as he left, he told us that he would send no other, but would return to destroy us with his own hands."

"Not that you can believe everything an enemy tells you," said Renji.

"No," said Nori, looking around at the other councilors, "We are not so much trusting in his words as gathering our power for the final confrontation."

Renji nodded.

"Arashi said that you had something to help Byakuya and me in the fighting?"

"We do," said Nori, lowering his eyes.

He reached into his robes and withdrew a small golden pendant that had been cut in the shape of a sakura blossom. Renji gazed silently at the lovely charm, then met Nori's eyes questioningly.

"What is this?" he asked, softly.

Nori gave him a fleeting smile.

"This is an empty charm right now. But...in a few moments, it will be filled with the strength of the Kuchiki family...all of the Kuchiki family."

Renji frowned.

"I don't understand. What are you saying?" he asked, staring at the charm.

"We have run for as we can," Nori said, looking down at the charm, "There is nowhere else for us to go. Our leader has lost his bankai, and he needs our strength to defeat that monster that took him."

"Okay," Renji said, a little weakly, "This is getting kinda...weird. What are you going to do?"

"I will give the command," said Nori, "And every man, woman and child that is encamped here will be drawn down into that charm. We will be held in suspension, and our power will be joined to provide our leader with a power that cannot be stolen. It is both a protection for us, and power for him. We consider this a last resort, as the destruction of the charm would mean the destruction of our clan. So...I ask you, Abarai Renji, as our leader's soul bonded, as the one with whom he has joined to bless our clan with his progeny, will you take this token of our power and when you find him, give this to him to help him in his battles?"

Renji's face paled.

"You're going to what?" he asked, swallowing hard, "You're shitting me, ne? You aren't serious?"

He looked around at the proud faces of the men and women around him.

"Oh kami," he mused breathlessly, "You _are _serious! You're out of your minds, taking a chance like that! Byakuya wouldn't want you to...!"

"Our leader needs us," Nori insisted, curling his fingers around the charm, "You and Arashi will be charged with taking the charm to Byakuya. Find him, Abarai-san! Find him. Free him. And give him this power so that he can reclaim what was taken from him!"

"But...all of you could..."

"We know what is at stake," the head councilor assured him, "And we know where our allegiance and our duty lies. We know that the enemy he faces is strong, but we also know that the three of you have the power to defeat him. Our hearts and our prayers will be with you, Abarai Renji."

"W-wait!" Renji cried as light began to flare around the pendant, "Nori-san!"

"_Giri no hinote_," the old man whispered, invoking the charm's power.

"Holy hell!" Renji gasped, watching in dismay as the entire encampment around him glowed white with light, flickered sharply, then flashed and disappeared into the depths of the pendant.

The charm began to fall towards the ground, but Renji reached out a hand and caught it, then stood in the middle of the now silent forest, staring at it. He heard a delicate step behind him and turned to meet Arashi's widened eyes.

"Well, Fleabag," Renji said in a stunned voice, "It looks like it's me and you now. C'mon. Let's find Byakuya!"


	17. Frozen Soul

**Chapter 17: Frozen Soul**

**(Ah, finally, the muse is with me again on this one! Enjoy! Oh, but I would not suggest reading this alone in a dark room. As Nodt is one creepy bastard! I got a little freaked out writing this and will be sleeping with the lights on!)**

"I know you are awake," As Nodt said quietly, a gloved fingertip stroking Byakuya's face as he spoke, "and you have kept me waiting for long enough. So, tell me now why you are able to resist my power. What technique are you using?"

Byakuya shivered at the quincy's icy touch, and he slipped away into that place inside his heart where he could feel Renji's presence most strongly.

_Yes, even now, I feel you with me. And this deep soul connection protects me, even when we are separated._

_Renji._

For a moment, he was able to completely detach himself from the body that was securely bound, made powerless, blindfolded and locked away. He could feel Renji's presence even more strongly, and it poured strength back into his body, helping him to hold firm against As Nodt's demands.

But his resolve was more deeply tested with his enemy's next words.

"Does it have something to do with the odd reiatsu I sense within your body? Or is it something else?"

"I was telling you the truth before," Byakuya insisted, "I do not know what happened to me that made me able to withstand your power. There is nothing that I can tell you. Why will you not believe that?"

"Because it is inconceivable that a mere shinigami could thwart my powers. I have not met the person who could do that. Yet, you, who could not withstand my power before, have learned somehow to do so."

"Then...the mechanism for my doing that is innate," argued Byakuya, "I am doing this, but I am not aware of how. I swear it."

He shivered as the quincy's gloved hand touched his bare abdomen.

"Yes," As Nodt whispered chillingly, "There it is again. You are afraid. Your body reacts, but you are not frozen. Intriguing..."

Byakuya flinched as the quincy's icy hands removed his blindfold and his large black eyes glared down into his captive's, making the noble feel as though frigid shards of shattered, frozen glass had pierced his flesh.

"I want to explore this further with you, but as soon as our leader becomes aware that you are alive and in my possession, he will order you removed to the Vandenreich."

"Your base of operations?" the noble asked softly.

"Yes," affirmed the quincy, "And once there, Juha Bach will have your mind broken and your soul recommitted to helping our cause."

"I will die before I serve a day under that man's command," Byakuya said firmly.

"You won't have a choice," As Nodt replied, his tone betraying an edge of anger, "The man is ruthless and he is driven. No one can stand against that man. No one."

A long, breathless silence rose up between them.

"I can protect you from him," the quincy offered finally, "I can hide you."

Byakuya frowned.

"And you would do this because...?" he asked.

"You make me curious, Kuchiki Byakuya. I want to understand this 'innate ability' that you have developed. But it will take time to explore. And there is too much risk of my leader finding us. So, you must consent to go with me. I will hide you from him and I will explore you until I discover what it is that makes you different."

"As Nodt..."

The quincy's eyes widened at hearing his name of the shinigami's lips. His eyes flicked to meet Byakuya's and the two stared at each other in silence, the former entranced by the noble's impenetrable difference and the latter filled with chill realization of the precariousness of his situation. Unspeakable terror gripped the noble's heart as As Nodt's strange black eyes dilated and he began to close the distance between them. Byakuya tried to speak, but the words froze, unspoken as the quincy's face moved closer, his eyelids fluttering and beginning to close as his lips reached the noble's. They paused, just short of touching, stopped by a sound that rose up outside the room.

"Be quiet," As Nodt warned Byakuya in a harsh whisper, "They are our leader's spies."

"He spies on his own men?" Byakuya asked softly.

As Nodt looked curiously into his eyes.

"I take it that your soutaichou did not do such things," the quincy commented.

Byakuya flinched uncomfortably at the mention of his late commanding officer.

"Perhaps if he had," As Nodt went on, "your forces would not have been helpless against ours in the first attack. It might have helped you to thwart Aizen Sousuke before he wreaked his havoc as well. But your soutaichou was always a trusting fool and now he is dead."

Gloved fingertips touched Byakuya's tightened lips, stopping his angry reply. The noble froze, still staring into As Nodt's depthless eyes.

"I think they are gone," the quincy said finally.

He sat back, gazing down at his shinigami captive with searching eyes, then very slowly brought one hand to the other and began to remove one of his gloves. Byakuya's eyes rounded as he sensed what the quincy was about to do. He pulled furiously at the bonds on his wrists as As Nodt bared a single hand.

"It has been a very long time since I have touched anyone directly. I wonder what will happen when I do. Do you want to find out, Kuchiki Byakuya? Why don't we see if you have truly thwarted me?"

"No!" the noble mouthed breathlessly, "Don't..."

"What's wrong?" the quincy asked in a maddeningly calm voice as Byakuya broke out in a cold sweat, watching As Nodt's naked fingers reach out to touch his face, "Are you afraid of what will happen? You should be. If you survive this touch, then you will be the first person I meant to kill with my touch, but could not."

Byakuya's heart pounded so hard that he thought it might explode out of his chest. His mind screamed and it took everything in him not to yield to the desire to scream aloud as those icy, bare fingers reached him. He closed his eyes, hearing nothing but his own horrified screams that, real or imagined, shook his still bound body and left him unable to move. And the terror only mounted as the quincy's fingers caressed the soft, damp skin of his cheek, then touched his lips longingly.

His mind went nearly blank with horror as he felt something else touch him...something a thousand times colder than the hands that As Nodt laid on his restrained and softly shaking form. That dark, impenetrable, wicked mind reached through the part of the quincy that touched him and allowed As Nodt's thoughts to reach him.

_How intriguing! Using my bared hand, I struck you with fear far greater than that which I used in our battle. But even though you seem frozen, something holds you together and keeps you from giving in to the madness I have infected you with. Some kind of strength wells up inside you, but I do not see where it comes from...no, wait..._

"N-no!" Byakuya screamed, feeling that deep source of strength rise up and shatter his bonds.

He surged to his knees, but was quickly caught from behind by As Nodt's wickedly strong arms. One of the hands that touched him was still bare, and it carried the quincy's scathing thoughts into Byakuya's reeling mind.

_Where do you think you are going? Back to him? Well...now that I know the source of your strength, I also know your greatest weakness, Kuchiki Byakuya! Witness, then, the wrath I will bring down on that man! Watch and fall into despair!_

Byakuya groaned in protest as his mind seemed to be stricken from all around with images of As Nodt killing Abarai Renji in every awful, painful way he could have imagined, then worse. A pained sob escaped him as he repeatedly had to watch Renji fall, and fall again. He was sure that he would have broken, but just as it seemed his mind might break apart and begin to die, he felt Renji's mind brush gently against his.

_Byakuya?_

_Byakuya, where are you?_

_I can feel you're close by, but I don't see where..._

As Nodt's icy whisper brought him back out of the blackness that surrounded him and dragged him into wakefulness again.

"So you are not without your limits, but you are very strong."

_Renji..._

Another hard chill sliced through Byakuya's body as the quincy moved where he knelt behind the noble and something warm and hard touched his lower back.

"This contact with you has aroused me," As Nodt said, sounding surprised, "I have never experienced this kind of arousal."

Byakuya closed his eyes, focusing hard on the presence of his lover.

_Renji, for the love of kami, please hear me!_

"I have grown excited in a way in battle or exploring others who piqued my interest, but I could never touch them directly. You are different that way. My touch pushes you to the brink, but you are held back from falling into madness by your connection to that man. As much as I want to kill him to keep him away from you, as long as he lives, you will remain strong like this."

"As Nodt..."

Byakuya went silent as the quincy's hand rose to the odd mask that covered most of his face. As Nodt took hold of the device and slowly removed it, then watched Byakuya's reaction closely.

The spellbound noble felt a jolt of aversion, then flashes of sympathetic pain at the awful sight of the quincy's heavily scarred face. But he sensed immediately that he was expected to react with horror, and forced himself to instead remain calm. He looked into the quincy's black eyes and reached up with tentative fingers to touch one of the scars.

"How did this happen?" he asked, keeping his voice soft, "Who did this to you?"

"People who feared me when I had never done anything to them. They only looked into my eyes while trespassing on my parents' estate and they feared me. They returned during the night and set our house on fire. I was locked in a hidden annex and even though my parents were able to rescue me, I was horribly burned. When I aligned myself with the Vandenreich and I was given my powers, I was given this thorned mask to hide my imperfection. I have never revealed my face to anyone since...anyone but you. And you do not seem repulsed. You do not look fearful or disgusted. Why is that?"

"You cannot help what they did," Byakuya answered, "In any case, I am a soldier...a warrior. I have seen worse wounds."

"Yours were ghastly," As Nodt said, reaching out to touch the noble's face again, "But you must have had the very best healers. I see no trace of scars at all."

"Some scars are worn on the inside," Byakuya whispered, not knowing quite what gave him leave to be so candid, "And as much as Senbonzakura's attacks left my body in ruins, the greater damage was to my heart...seeing a part of my soul turned and used against me."

"Do you want me to feel sorry for doing that?" As Nodt asked, holding his gaze raptly, "I don't."

"You are a soldier as well," Byakuya replied, "You have learned to make yourself feel nothing as you end lives."

He was surprised to see the quincy's scarred lips smile.

"You are right about that. At that time, it was easy to ignore your emotions. You were simply an enemy and my orders were to kill you. Still...seeing how that experience changed you, I no longer have the same ability to distance myself. That we can touch is enthralling. It leaves me wanting to keep you alive, Kuchiki Byakuya, to keep you bound and hidden away from everyone...to make you mine alone."

"And it matters nothing to you that I already have a lover? A family? A home I want to return to safely?"

As Nodt's eyes glinted dangerously.

"Your desires do not matter to me," he answered quietly, "You need no home other than wherever I lock you away, no lover other than me...and no family we do not make together..."

Sensing the danger in reacting, Byakuya kept himself carefully still in As Nodt's embrace, saying nothing as the quincy laid him down on his back again and leaned over him. He shivered softly, but made no sound as the quincy's lips sought his again and locked them together. Still gazing down into the noble's widened eyes, As Nodt bound Byakuya to the bed again, using a stronger chain of reiatsu. With slow, purposeful hands, he loosened their clothing, revealing a thin, white body that was as horribly scarred as his face. Again, Byakuya held back his reaction, focusing on breathing slowly and extending his senses, trying to touch Renji's mind again.

But things began to come apart as the quincy moved forward and laid down on top of him. Byakuya flinched, then inhaled in surprise at the quincy's startled expression as their bodies touched over a wide expanse of skin. As Nodt's eyelids fluttered and Byakuya could feel the swift cadence of his heart at the impact of the intimate contact. Cold fingers captured the noble's chin, turning his head aside and giving As Nodt access to the smooth, pale skin of his throat. The quincy's tongue extended tentatively to taste him, then hardened and began to plunder.

_He does nothing that hurts, but his touch is agony._

_Renji, I don't know how much longer I can..._

The thought ended suddenly as As Nodt's body shifted and he slowly wedged himself between the noble's resistant thighs. Byakuya gasped in distress as the quincy's damp arousal touched his entrance. His mind went blank and his body twisted reflexively, but it was immediately clear he could not avoid what was about to happen. And as horrible as his near death in losing his battle with As Nodt had been, he preferred it a thousand times over the reality that crashed down on his beleaguered mind. But just as the quincy began to enter him, voices sounded again outside the door to the room they were in and As Nodt looked away, almost growling in annoyance.

"What do you want?"

"You are to come with us," a low, commanding voice said, "and you are to bring the shinigami that you captured. Bach-sama's orders."

"I no longer have the shinigami," As Nodt replied calmly, placing a restrictive hand over Byakuya's mouth, "I killed him."

The door handle started to turn and As Nodt scowled.

"That is not advisable," he said warningly, "I am not dressed and you will be dead as soon as you lay eyes on me."

The door handle fell still again.

"We will wait outside," the other voice said solemnly.

"Very well," answered As Nodt, breaking Byakuya's bonds and shoving him down onto the floor.

"They will send someone to search the house when I leave with them. I will kill them and return for you," the quincy told the noble, "Wait here. I do not recommend trying to leave. They will surely capture you."

A hard jolt of reiatsu left the noble stunned on the floor next to the bed. As Nodt gave him a final look of warning, then left him and exited the room. A moment later, Byakuya heard a scraping at the window.

_Kami, they've come already?_

He froze as Renji's face appeared at the window and the redhead's hands worked at it quickly to get it open. If he had been able, he would have given a sob of relief as Renji pulled the window open and climbed inside. He spotted the immobilized noble on the floor beside the bed and dropped down onto one knee beside him.

"Byakuya, are you all right?"

He struggled to speak, but couldn't manage it. Renji smiled down at him and shattered the seal on his powers.

"It's okay now. I killed the two guys that were lurking outside and that bastard left with the others. Arashi's waiting outside. We're gonna get you out of here."

"R-renji," Byakuya managed thickly as his senses began to return to him.

"Don't stress yourself," the redhead chuckled, "C'mon."

Byakuya managed to loop his arms around Renji's neck as he was lifted into the taller man's arms and fed a gentle, steadying kiss. Renji flash stepped to the window and lifted Byakuya out, laying him across Arashi's waiting back, then climbing out after and settling behind him.

"A-abarai!" Byakuya hissed softly.

"What?" Renji asked, blinking, "What's wrong? You hurt?"

"N-no!"

"Then, what is it?"

"Sit me up!" the noble demanded, "I _refuse_ to be slung across a horse's back and carried to safety like a sack of potatoes!"

"Oh, listen to the man," Renji mused, grinning, "Wants the royal treatment, eh?"

"Renji, so help me...!"

"All right, all right! Sheesh, what a grouch," the redhead muttered, helping the noble up to sit the horse more traditionally.

Arashi gave an equine snicker and tossed his head.

"All right, Fleabag," Renji said, growing serious once more, "Get us the fuck outta here!"

Byakuya relaxed against Renji's chest, sinking into the redhead's embrace and breathing a shuddering sigh of relief as the house he had been concealed in fell away behind them.

"Renji," he said softly, "Arigatou."

"Just tell me that I got you outta there before he could molest you."

"How did you...?"

"I heard your thoughts, just like you heard mine," Renji explained, "That's how I found you."

"Then, you know what happened?" Byakuya asked, looking down at Arashi's flowing mane.

"Yeah."

"This is not over," Byakuya went on, "He will come after me again. He will not stop, Renji, not now that he knows that he can make physical contact with me."

"Well then," Renji said, withdrawing the sakura pendant and fastening it around the stunned noble's slender neck, "We'll just have to make sure we're ready for him."


	18. Heart of the Clan

**Chapter 18: Heart of the Clan**

**(This is not actually a new chapter, just re-posted to let readers know the story was recovered! :) Thanks for your patience while everything's fixed up!)**

Byakuya gave a gasp of surprise, paling as he registered the burden of responsibility that went along with the bearing of the ancient charm the redhead had placed around his throat.

"Renji!" he exclaimed, bringing Arashi to a rearing halt, "Renji, how in kami's name did you come by this? This...!"

Renji gazed down at the delicate looking artifact as the noble lifted it carefully in his softly shaking fingers.

"Why would they do this? Why take such a chance?" he whispered, "Why entrust something like this to _me_, of all people? Do they not understand just how badly I have already failed them? And still, they...?"

"It's to show that they still believe in you, Byakuya," Renji said, glaring into his eyes, "It's not that they have forgotten what happened in that battle, Taichou. It's that they know what happened and they still think that you are the one among them who is going to be able to protect the clan."

"How can they think that?" Byakuya mused, touching the sakura charm with a gentle fingertip, "How can they have such confidence in me after what happened? And now, facing As Nodt again without a bankai..."

"But you have a weapon that he isn't expecting," Renji said, looking down at the pendant, "I don't think those medallions can steal what's in there...all of the strength and faith of the Kuchiki clan...and they've put this in your hands so that you'll know that you won't be alone in that battle. They'll be with you. And I'm gonna be with you too."

Arashi made an equine squeal of assent.

_You have my power as well, Byakuya-sama!_

Renji smiled.

"See, Fleabag believes in you too. And I think that the three of us make a pretty unstoppable team. But before we go out to face that guy, you need to have a healer check you out. Just to be sure, you know..."

"He didn't hurt the baby," Byakuya assured the redhead, his cheeks flushing as he said the words, "I do not think he realized what it was."

Renji cleared his throat softly, his hands trembling slightly where they were wrapped around Byakuya's waist.

"W-well, it's pretty freaking amazing, ne?"

A small, tentative smile found its way to Byakuya's lips.

"It is," he agreed quietly.

Arashi snorted warningly.

_If you wish to survive long enough to be around for that little miracle of yours, then we had better move. As Nodt is returning!_

"All right," said Renji, tightening his arms possessively around Byakuya, "Let's get outta here, Fleabag!"

_Keep calling me that and I'll dump you on the ground and let him have you, you miscreant! _the stallion hissed in their minds as he broke into a run.

Renji felt Byakuya stiffen under his hands and gave him a questioning look as Arashi plunged forward.

"What is it? What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm not quite sure," the noble answered, shivering inwardly as he felt As Nodt's presence closing in on them. Arashi's hooves pounded on the ground beneath them as the stallion moved into flash steps, carrying them quickly away from the returning quincy. Renji kept his arms wrapped tightly around the noble, a thin edge of fear in his belly as he read Byakuya's expression.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I don't think so," Byakuya said softly, "Renji, I have a terrible feeling that just getting away from him won't be enough. He found me easily before and he took me from among my own clan, without anyone being the wiser! Who is to say that he doesn't have a way of locating me?"

"What? You mean...he planted something on or in your body or something?" Renji asked, paling.

"Perhaps," Byakuya replied shakenly, "But...with the baby developing inside me, I do not know if it is going to be safe to endure medical procedures to eradicate whatever might have been placed in my body."

Byakuya's already pale face went a shade whiter.

"And...and what if he has affected the..."

He stopped himself, unable to finish the thought.

"Don't," Renji said, shaking his head, "It's gonna be okay. Whatever he did, Unohana taichou..."

He stopped himself, remembering the message that he had received from the fourth division just before heading out to rescue Byakuya.

_Shit! Our best hope of helping Byakuya is in a fight to the death with one of our own taichous..._

"Renji?"

"Oh, sorry," the redhead said, shaking his head, "It's just, Unohana taichou...well, she's not at the fourth."

"Oh?"

"Word came down that it turns out she was the first Kenpachi. She never actually passed on the title officially. So, she and Zaraki taichou went down to Muken to fight it out. There...wasn't any choice, Kyouraku taichou said."

"I see," Byakuya said, leaning more heavily into Renji's shoulder, "Well, then perhaps Inoue Orihime can help us. Do not worry. We will find the help we need."

"You're right," Renji said, burrowing his face into a thick tumble of dark, silken, sakura scented hair, "I promised you before, when you were still unconscious, that I was never going to leave you. And I won't."

"Arigatou, Renji," Byakuya sighed, relaxing further into Renji's embrace, "That gives me more comfort than you know."

The two went quiet, Renji continuing to hold the noble in a strong embrace as Arashi carried them away from the small Rukongai house where As Nodt had concealed him. But even as the distance opened up between the quincy and the two shinigamis, Byakuya could still feel whispers of that dread presence somewhere within his own body.

_It is as though he has somehow infected me with that presence. I wonder if this is how he found me before. I think that we must assume that he will continue to find me as long as this strange presence is inside me. I wonder what it will take to be freed from it...whether it is something that can be eradicated by a healer, or if As Nodt must be defeated or killed for it to dissipate._

_So many questions..._

_I only hope that going to the fourth division and remaining among the thick of the shinigami forces will be enough. Unfortunately, if he was able to infiltrate my clan in our secret encampment, I can only think that he would have no trouble reaching me, even in the busy healing center...not to mention that my being in that place will endanger countless others who are there healing and being healed._

_I do not know what to do._

He rested quietly in Renji's arms, his troubled mind turning the facts of the situation over and about. Renji observed his expression and slid a hand into his, squeezing gently and he kissed the noble lightly on the cheek.

"It's gonna be all right," he assured Byakuya, drawing the noble's dark eyes into meeting his, "This war will be over soon and then you and I can go and cause all kinds of trouble with your clan, getting married and having a whole herd of half-mongrel babies."

"Abarai," Byakuya half-chuckled, unable to keep a small smile from forming on his lips, "_Half-mongrels_? You make them sound like savages."

"Well, I hate to tell you, but growing up in Inuzuri like I did, I _was_ a little savage. I wonder if our kids are going to be like that too."

"Not if the elders have anything to say about it," Byakuya said, blushing at the turn the conversation had taken, "But...I think that our children will be fiercely independent. And that...is a good thing. But, Renji, I have to say, you sound significantly more confident about this than you did before. Did...something happen that changed things?"

"Yeah, something happened," Renji explained, "I loved you before, and even though the idea of having kids is still scary, I want to be the best dad I can be for them. And I want to be a good husband that you can depend on, Byakuya."

Byakuya turned his head away to hide the sudden dampness that rose in his eyes at the redhead's heartfelt words.

_These hormones are so dastardly..._

"Hey," Renji said softly, kissing his earlobe, "Looks like we made it. There's the fourth."

The two were quiet as Arashi slowed, then stopped at the entrance to the fourth division. Renji slid down, then helped the noble to dismount. They watched as Arashi disappeared into the brush, then they entered the healing center.

"Hanatarou-kun," Renji greeted the healer as he appeared and headed towards them, "I need you to have a look at Kuchiki taichou. He was captured briefly by one of the enemies and we need to make sure that the creep didn't do anything to him."

"I also need to know the fate of my cousins, Kuchikis Tetsuya and Koji," Byakuya added, "They were brought here by some of our clan healers."

"Oh," Hanatarou answered, nodding, "You will be happy to know that they are out of danger. Inoue Orihime was able to help them. They are both still unconscious and they may remain that way for several days, but both are expected to survive. Torio-san has not left their sides. He is with them in the room at the end of the hall. If you would like to join them there, I can conduct your examination there as well."

"Great, thanks Hanatarou," Renji said gratefully, slipping an arm around the noble and starting towards the room the healer had directed them to, "Whew! That is a huge relief. I wasn't able to get all of the way here with them."

"What happened?" Byakuya asked, looking concerned.

"Eh, just some quincy with fire ability," Renji chuckled good naturedly, "But I was lucky enough that ol' Fleabag showed up and gave the guy a shower, blasted him into the next century, I think."

"Ah, that is yet another one we owe my cousin's steed."

"You've got that right. I don't know what your family or I would have done without him and his unstealable bankai."

"I agree," said Byakuya, "We are fortunate to have him.

They reached the hospital room and stepped inside. Torio looked up from where he sat at Koji's side and his eyes went wide with relief.

"Byakuya-sama! Renji-san! You are safe. Thank kami! I didn't know what to think when the healers I sent back to the clan returned here and said that the encampment was there, but all of the family was gone!"

He caught sight of the pendant that Byakuya wore and paled.

"Oh!" he gasped softly, lost for words.

Byakuya moved to Koji's side and placed a hand on his forehead, reading the strength of his reiatsu, then squeezing his hand briefly in gratitude. He moved on to Tetsuya and sat down next to him, laying a hand on his forehead to check his condition, then nodding briefly.

"I am glad you are going to be all right," he said softly to Tetsuya, slipping a hand into his cousin's.

"They are actually doing very well, considering their injuries," Hanatarou said, joining Byakuya beside Tetsuya, "We were fortunate that Inoue was here. They might have been beyond our ability to heal otherwise."

"They were fortunate," Byakuya agreed.

Hanatarou briefly examined the two patients, then moved on to Byakuya, who just sat quietly, holding Tetsuya's pale hand as he was examined.

"You don't appear to have any worrisome injuries," Hanatarou reported after a moment, "Are you having any odd symptoms?"

"I do not have any signs of anything injurious," Byakuya told him, "However, I suspect that when I was attacked by the quincy As Nodt, he may have left a reiatsu trace or something similar in my body. He was able to track me too easily upon my return to the clan. I do not know how else he could have done that."

"Ah," Hanatarou said, nodding and beginning a deeper examination of the noble's reiatsu, "There is a unique reiatsu in your abdominal area, but it seems a dependent reiatsu to yours. Were you aware you had become pregnant?"

"Yes," Byakuya confirmed, "I was under the care of the clan healers before being captured by As Nodt."

Hanatarou shuddered at the mention of the quincy's name.

"That quincy is very brutal," he commented, "Sqaud six suffered many casualties due to him."

"Yes," Byakuya agreed softly.

"And I am picking up something...a sort of foreign element...a reiatsu I haven't seen before. But it is acting oddly. It seems to hang on to your own reiatsu. It doesn't appear to do anything, but I can see how, if this came from that quincy, he could be using it to track you."

"Can you get rid of it?" Renji asked, looking alarmed.

"I do not think that a shinigami healer can," said Hanatarou, "But I will bring Inoue-chan. I am sure that her power can isolate and eradicate it."

"Well, that's a relief," sighed Renji, sitting down next to the noble and slipping as arm around him.

He watched as Hanatarou finished the examination.

"Your baby is developing just fine," the youth reported finally, "That foreign reiatsu does not appear to have involved itself with the baby."

"That is good. Thank you, Hanatarou," Byakuya said gratefully.

The young man nodded briefly and stood.

"I will go and bring Inoue Orihime."

Byakuya and Renji watched him leave, then the noble loosed a weary sigh and leaned into the redhead's strong shoulder.

"Byakuya-sama, Renji-san," Torio said softly, "You look tired. Would you like me to bring tea?"

"Ah, yes," Byakuya said sleepily, "Tea would be good."

Torio exited the room, leaving the two sitting quietly between Byakuya's two injured cousin's and listening to the solemn beeping of the machines that monitored them. Renji ran his fingers through the noble's fine, silken hair and kissed him on the side of his throat.

"You doing all right?" he asked softly, "You can nod off there, if you want. You could probably use the sleep, you know."

"Yes," Byakuya agreed, "Although, I do not know if I will be able to sleep."

Renji considered his words quietly, then looked up as Orihime entered the room and sat down at Byakuya's side.

"Just give me a few minutes, Kuchiki-taichou," she said cheerfully, "As soon as I am finished, Hanatarou will be back to show you to your room."

Byakuya made a soft sound of acknowledgement, then fell silent, watching as Orihime's power rose around him. Her gentle, healing touch was so soothing that he was almost instantly nodding off in Renji's embrace, and by the time the human girl nodded in approval and withdrew her power, Byakuya was sleeping peacefully on the redhead's shoulder.

"Come," Hanatarou said from the doorway, "You may have the room next to this one for the night."

"Thanks, Hanatarou," Renji said in a soft voice, so as not to disturb his sleeping lover.

He lifted the noble carefully and carried him out of the room, just as Torio returned with the tea.

"Ah, sorry," said the attendant, "There are a lot of people here, so I had to wait awhile."

"That's okay," Renji assured him, "Just bring it this way."

Renji carried Byakuya into the next room and laid him in bed, then took a cup of tea from Torio and watched as the attendant left the room. He drank the warm liquid slowly, surprised at how good even hospital tea tasted after such a trying day. He finished the tea and crawled into bed beside Byakuya, who turned readily into his arms, without waking.

"That's good," Renji whispered, "Get some good sleep."

His fingers touched the pendant at his lover's throat.

"I have a feeling that things will get rough again, all to soon. But...I will take care of you...and our baby, Byakuya. I am not going to let anything happen to you. I love you."

He dug his large, rough-skinned fingers into that feather-soft black hair and held the noble tightly as he also surrendered to sleep.

A short distance away, As Nodt paused, his senses piqued as his connection to the corrupted reiatsu he had placed within Byakuya flickered and faded.

"Ah," he said softly, "A competent move. But...this is not the end of this, Kuchiki Byakuya. No matter what protections you take, I will find you again!"


End file.
